There are many hardships that a person goes through in their life. Yet, one of the most common is the financial sort. Its roots can be various, but that doesn't change the fact that it can cause people a lot of stress.
Just like for the family in today's story. In this case, the root of their financial troubles is his wife's reckless spending habit that can't be tamed. They even had to borrow money from the man's brother. And let's just say, said brother's wife is quite unhappy with how they are spending the borrowed money.
More info: Mumsnet
Some of the most common hardships people go through in their lives are financial ones
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The family in today's story is no exception — money troubles are causing them quite a lot of stress
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The problem is that most of these troubles are brought on by the wife's reckless spending
Image credits: Dream_ maKkerzz / Pexels (not the actual photo)
For example, she keeps buying expensive gifts for friends or going way over the budget in renovations
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It came to the point that the family couldn't properly fund their kids' education, so they had to borrow money from the man's brother
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But now, the brother's wife isn't thrilled about how the loan is being spent, so she came online to ask for advice
The OP’s brother-in-law, or her husband’s brother, is a married man with kids. And his wife, well, let’s say that the family aren’t the biggest fans of her.
It all comes down to both the couple’s history and their current (especially financial) state. Let’s start with history. When the man was 29, he met this woman at a Young Farmers NYE bash, where she sneaked in uninvited. They had a one-night stand and split. Until 3 weeks later, when she tracked him down to inform him about her pregnancy.
So, the couple decided to get married 2 months later. Well, a pregnant bride isn’t anything uncommon, especially when the pregnancy is not yet visible. In fact, most pregnant brides decide to get married around the 2nd trimester, which starts around the 3rd month of pregnancy, as usually morning sickness is no longer such a trouble and, again, the belly isn’t so visible yet.
The latter reasoning was used by the OP’s BIL’s bride when they got hitched very early on. Naturally, the man’s family wasn’t very thrilled with such a fast-paced relationship, but they supported him. After all, there’s no defined timeline for when a couple should get married – some date years before marriage and still end up divorcing, while others find their happily ever after when they marry quickly. It all depends on the people involved.
A few months later, the woman gave birth and pretty soon after got pregnant again. To be more specific, within 7 weeks. Granted, it’s possible to get pregnant as little as 3 weeks after giving birth, but some experts warn moms against doing that. They say that it's best to wait at least 6 months (in other sources a year) or ideally 18 months before getting pregnant again, as it might lessen the possibility of pregnancy complications.
Yet, sometimes life gets in the way and changes those plans, no matter how closely you follow the suggestions of experts. Maybe that’s something that happened to the OP’s SIL; we don’t know for sure, so we can’t judge her.
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What we can judge her for is the fact that she actually always knew that her firstborn wasn’t even her husband’s kid, but still decided to baby-trap him with a daughter. She let this secret slip once when she was pregnant and it completely devastated the man.
To make matters worse, that isn’t the only heartbreak she brought to her husband’s life. The second one that constantly plagues their lifestyle, is her spending habit. She doesn’t have a job, so all finances are provided by the husband, who has to relentlessly work overseas to bring money into the family.
Then, she goes on to spend the majority of it. For instance, buying expensive gifts for her ever-changing friends, going over the budget for kitchen renovation and things like that. Due to this, they struggle to keep up with the costs of their kids’ education. So, the man had to go to his brother’s (the OP’s husband’s) family to ask them for a loan.
They agreed to lend it, as long as the woman would get a proper job, to lessen their financial burdens and pay the loan back sometime in the future. Yet, now that the money has been loaned, the OP isn’t very happy with how it is being spent, so she came online to ask what could be done about this situation.
Well, to the netizens, the situation wasn’t such a brain teaser – the SIL apparently isn’t planning to change her ways, as setting conditions has clearly not helped her do that. So, instead of trying to change someone who doesn’t want to do so, the OP should try to get her money back and then never lend them anything again. Their troubles aren’t hers to clean up.
What do you think, is netizens' advice any good in this case? Would you suggest anything else? If yes, share it in the comments!
Netizens pointed out that after getting the money back, the OP shouldn't ever think about lending them any again, as the woman is clearly not planning to change her ways
