#2
1. Most people aren’t rude, they’re probably just shy
2. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Putting your own needs at the bottom of the list is just masochism and is probably unhealthy.
3. One girlfriend explained to me (at age 19) that she had to learn to accept that during puberty her body was changing… it was as though guys just kinda got bigger, but a girl’s body changes in a profound and different way. I always thought about that whenever I was intimate with another woman’s body - their bodies can change from one week to the next
4. One girlfriend said something to me one night that was kinda funny… we were back at my place and had both had a big day. I was really tired. I explained I was exhausted and couldn’t really do much to make the night fun. She said that it was okay, it’s not as though I am a clown and have to keep her entertained.
#3
Bored Panda got in touch with the woman who made the post in the first place and she was kind enough to share some more details with us. Naturally, we were curious to learn why she posed this question to the internet in the first place.
“I’m a single 30 year old female. I’ve had my fair share of failed relationships, and one night I was wondering if I ever made an impact in their lives. So I was just generally curious about little or big things that have stuck with men over the years from a partner,” she shared.
#4
#5
His response: "Honestly, that I don't have to apologize for existing."
(Context: His parents were...not easy on him in his youth and always catered to and favored his sisters. He even mentioned he got grounded once for breathing too loud).
But wow this was the best and saddest compliment from my love ever.
#6
We were also curious to hear her thoughts on why the post got so many comments. “I think because it shows both perspectives and even showed some married (or dating) couples that we really do learn from each other, even if it’s the small things. Not to mention, they’re now learning about each other just from this thread. Anything to make a strong couple stronger. It truly is the little things.”
#7
#8
She encourages me to buy nicer clothing, a better computer, etc. not because nice things are important but because I should feel like I deserve nice things.
I think most men don't have any kind of voice that tells us we deserve good things in our lives.
#9
Naturally, we also wanted to hear her perspective. “I’ve mostly dated blue collar men. So as a female, I've learned how to change my own oil, spark plugs, patch a hole etc. I grew up with a single mother who didn’t know how to do this herself. So partners have shown me how to be more independent and I’ll always be thankful for that,” she shared with Bored Panda.
#11
#12
She tricked me by raising it back up after she went at my house and she explained “this is a guys house, so I’ll raise it back up where it goes after I’m done” and then I just automatically started lowering it when I was at her house like some serious reverse psychology was going on there.
Even my probation officer said “I’ve heard you’ve become quite domesticated😂.
“There was one comment about a wife who sent this thread to her husband curious about his answer. She went on to say his answer was to never apologize for being himself and then gave some back story of his. His parents made him feel irrelevant compared to his sisters. I think it’s just beautiful growing up from such terrible self esteem from the people who are supposed to love you most, to finding a person who shows you that you do matter to someone.”
#14
#15
She left us with some parting thoughts. “I feel like this thread can be a learning experience for couples of all ages. Talk to each other. Learn about and from each other. We can make this a better place if we all just help each other out, no matter how small it’s still a victory,” she shared.
#16
I observed her doing it for years, but it didn’t really stick with me until I was in my 30s. The rim could fly off the car while we’re driving, and she would already believe we’re going to crash into soft snow without any injuries or pain. It’s great.
#17
#19
She taught me this by the negative space created when she left, and I realized I had friends and family and hobbies that fulfilled me, and that I was happier in the company of books and music than alone with her. .
#20
