We have a lot to thank social media for. Over the years, countless people have reunited with friends and family, and some have even found partners through apps that sit in our back pockets.
But denying how harmful social media can be is like putting on a blindfold and trying to find a needle in a haystack. The good and the bad go hand in hand. And surely, we’ve all said, “I’m gonna delete my socials,” but realistically, it’s almost impossible to actually do it, and one man on r/BoyDinnerDiaries shared his delicious-looking burrito, along with a story about how he wished his girlfriend was one of those people leaving the algorithms behind.
More and more people are turning to social media to decide how they should think and act
A man realized his girlfriend had been acting cold towards him, and after some time, he realized it was all because of TikTok
Specialists indicate that algorithms exploit implicit bias to drive people into the platforms
Relationships are already a way to test yourself, your limits, and learn more about yourself in ways that almost nothing else can. But now, many people have a new problem to deal with: social media. Studies suggest that around 70% of people have developed a habit of constantly checking social media, with more than 80% admitting that these platforms are among the most alluring features on their phones.
Nowadays, we also have something called an algorithm, and the narrator isn’t wrong that it can be a potential source of negativity. According to a Stanford study, social media algorithms, especially on engagement-driven platforms like TikTok and X, lead users to interact more with content that triggers outrage, since it keeps engagement up.
This means videos centered on blame, resentment, hostility, and the pathologizing of mundane behavior can show up in your feed and manipulate how you think. And this may be surprising, but a 2024 study found that after people used social media to search for basic topics like self-improvement or handling loneliness, gender-targeted content kept appearing after just five days.
This is exactly what happened in the story: after being continuously fed red-flag videos, the girlfriend started interpreting ordinary human mistakes as evidence that their future was doomed. But this isn’t exclusive to women. Studies suggest that women are often shown content about emotional labor disparities and partner neglect, while men may be shown content with overly demanding partners and red-pill ideas.
Many netizens also turn to algorithms for social validation, erasing nuance altogether
So while living under the same roof, a couple can end up being fed entirely different types of content that influence their worldviews. As a result, researchers have found that high levels of social media engagement are associated with lower relationship quality and more relationship conflict. They start projecting what they see online onto their own relationships.
But what can couples do to prevent this situation from escalating? Well, they can start by establishing digital boundaries. This can be essential to maintaining a healthy relationship, since social media is filled with relationship commentary and advice that can shape people’s expectations and essentially become a third party in a couple’s dynamic.
That’s why therapists recommend being more mindful about engaging with relationship content and avoiding endless doomscrolling. Couples can also establish clear boundaries around what they consume online and agree that social media content shouldn’t automatically be treated as evidence of problems in their own relationship.
But that does make one wonder: are you someone who is constantly seeking other people’s opinions on relationships online? Or do you know someone who does? Let us know, Pandas!
Readers pointed out how easy it is to get swept by mob mentality on social media
