Sometimes, we don’t get a say in what happens to us—only how we react to it. So when Reddit user RandomNameNumber3 walked in on his girlfriend and cousin in his own bed, he decided to cut them both off without a word, choosing silence over confrontation.
Years later, however, he was asked to be the best man at their wedding. He said yes—not out of forgiveness, of course, but because he had a plan to finally face them and show them the impact of their actions.
This man couldn’t forgive his cousin for stealing his girlfriend
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
So when he went to their wedding, he made sure both families found out how they got together
Image credits: freepic.diller (not the actual photo)
Image credits: RandomNameNumber3
As good as it might feel in the moment, revenge doesn’t always help us in the long run
The author of the post seems a little confused. Even though in the title he claims this whole thing brought him happiness, he ends the confession by contradicting himself, saying, “I’m not sure I’m feeling better having done this.” This is a good example of how tricky going down the revenge path can be.
Psychological studies have shown that revenge gives the perpetrator a brief high. In the short term, it seems, revenge is indeed sweet – but that the feeling rarely lasts.
“Taking revenge generally has a low chance of being satisfying for the avenger,” says Mario Gollwitzer, a social psychologist at the University of Marburg in Germany.
He argues that revenge only works when the wrongdoer signals that the act of vengeance made its point. In reality, that will rarely be the case. The relationship is likely already to be unsalvageable. Plus, there is no guarantee that the wrongdoer has really got the message. All the avenger is left with is a sense that some retributive pain has been inflicted, but that is rarely enough. To get full closure.
“Research shows that people expect to feel better [after exacting revenge],” Gollwitzer adds, ”but they don’t. Taking revenge leaves them with an empty feeling.”
Would he seek to avenge himself if someone crossed him? “I would definitely want revenge,” the psychologist admits, “but I would also have to limit myself.”
He recommends people make their point in what he calls an “aesthetic fashion” – like giving someone a “worst colleague” mug instead of destroying their entire career, or sending a fiery reply to a couple’s RSVP instead of upending their entire wedding.
Image credits: Nicolas Postiglioni (not the actual photo)
As reactions poured in, the author of the post replied to several people, sharing more details about the ordeal
[Call out OP]
