Just because your family and friends think someone is ‘perfect’ for you as a romantic partner doesn’t mean that they actually are. True compatibility means partnering up with someone whom you imagine living alongside for decades. They’re communicative, supportive, and they’ll also challenge you in all the right ways, just like you do them.
Internet user u/Remote_Philosophy404 went viral online after opening up about how he “robotically calculated” which woman in his social circle was best for him. He then dumped his loving girlfriend for her, leading to marriage, which he says was the best decision he’s made in his life. Scroll down to read the full story, as well as to see the internet’s mixed reactions to the entire situation.
Who you marry is one of the most important choices you'll ever make in life
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One man opened up about how he decided to dump his girlfriend in order to date a woman he calculated would be perfect for him
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Image credits: Remote_Philosophy404
A core part of compatibility is good communication and being able to work through differences with your partner
Some of the most fundamental things when it comes to romantic compatibility include having shared values, interests, beliefs, and goals, Verywell Mind explains.
That’s alongside other core aspects like effective communication, as well as laughter and actually enjoying the time you spend in your partner’s company.
Meanwhile, one surface-level sign of compatibility is being physically attracted to each other. That’s not to say that attraction isn’t important. It is! However, physical attraction can develop and grow over time between emotionally and intellectually compatible people.
“Compatibility involves being in alignment with one another in a way that allows you to function together harmoniously,” licensed marriage and family therapist Claudia de Llano told Verywell Mind.
However, compatibility doesn’t necessarily mean that you share all the same traits, hobbies, views, and interests as your significant other. What it means is that you have a lot in common and use effective communication to work through any differences that pop up along the way.
On the other hand, incompatible partners often have very different views and approaches, leading to frequent conflicts due to communication difficulties.
Broadly speaking, having contrasting attitudes to your partner can lead to more stress, conflict, and depression. On the other hand, having similar attitudes tends to lead to greater relationship satisfaction and happiness.
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You don't have to be identical to your significant other. However, the more your attitudes overlap, usually, the better
Compatibility isn’t static, either. It can improve or degrade over the course of your romantic relationship. In the former case, it can grow if you and your partner take on each other’s points of view and personality traits. In the latter case, your compatibility can decrease if your and your partner’s emotional baggage and unresolved issues become more prominent.
“A strong foundation of communication, empathy, and personal development by each partner is essential to maintaining compatibility,” Llano states.
Meanwhile, BetterHelp points out that when it comes to romantic compatibility, based on the research done by Dr. Edward Hoffman, you should look for a partner who has similar levels of emotional intensity, spontaneity, and libido.
“If you both have passions that run high, you could have a very intense relationship, but it would likely be mutual and potentially healthy. You could also both be low-intensity lovers, in which case you may not be quite as occupied with each other but could still be well-matched.”
Other aspects of compatibility to look for include the need for companionship, idealism, nurturance, materialism, extroversion, aestheticism, activity level, subjective well-being, and intellectualism.
Broadly speaking, the more areas you and your partner are compatible in, the better your relationship.
What do you think, Pandas? Do you think the internet user did the right thing by calculating who the best partner for him was? Or do you side with those netizens who think there’s something bizarrely wrong with doing things so mathematically?
What green flags do you look for in a romantic partner? How compatible do you think you and your significant other are? Share your thoughts and opinions below.
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Many internet users found the story weird and disturbing. Here's their take
That being said, some people thought the man's approach made sense
