Guy Refuses To Trade Homes With His Brother Just Because He Has A Big Family

Despite supposedly “being in your corner” many folks out there have truly entitled, demanding, and annoying families. They will ask for things without stopping, gaslight, bother, and pressure you into conceding to their requests, and make you feel bad for just existing.

A man turned to the internet for advice after a campaign of manipulation and harassment from his brother’s family, who wanted them to swap houses. Because the brother had more children, he had deluded himself into thinking he really was entitled to OP’s home. So began a long series of attempts to get OP to move out.

Entitlement is sadly common enough that most people have encountered a truly delusional person at least once, but it’s rare to see it in an entire family unit. Because the brother’s demand is truly unhinged, as OP is in no way, shape, or form required to just let a whole family take over his hard-earned house because it’s more comfortable for them.

A possible explanation for this behavior is that “Karen” and the brother feed each other’s delusions, leading to this sort of behavior. While it’s not perfectly understood, there appears to be some connection between narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), Bipolar disorder, and a general attitude of entitlement.

One research paper by Dr. John Gunderson and Dr. Elsa Ronningstam states that "Characteristics shared by the two disorders and thus failing to discriminate between NPD and bipolar disorder are notable. A sense of entitlement occurred in both diagnostic groups in Morey's and our studies; that is, both narcissists and borderlines felt that others should recognize their needs and give them special favors."

In other words, OP’s brother and his partner are a match made in heaven (for each other) as they seem capable of staying together while maintaining these delusional beliefs. Unfortunately, OP, no doubt their children and random passersby have already or will suffer from them being downright horrible, mean, and entitled.

There are some forms of entitlement that are not entirely detrimental. “Earned” entitlement, coming from care, good behavior, and hard work is psychologically beneficial and a solid way to stop someone from taking advantage of you. In a sense, OP’s feeling that his house should be used how he wishes is a form of earned entitlement.

This is by no means a bad thing, he did earn it and should defend doing what he wants. Very often adult children are taken advantage of by predatory parents who use guilt and their own, often less earned, feelings of entitlement to manipulate them. Only by understanding your own rights and worth can a person resist the manipulation and the guilt-tripping that entitled folks often employ.

Fortunately, the tone of OP’s post suggests that he does know he is in the right and he now has the backing of hundreds, if not thousands of comments all suggesting that his brother and his family can go shove it. Because they really should. There is nothing wrong with asking a family member for some help, but you should meet them a lot further than halfway, instead of subjecting them to a campaign of psychological bombardment.