There’s something so exhausting about having a bitter ex. Not only do you have to put your life back together after dedicating years to a relationship, you also have to watch what was once a beautiful friendship devolve into a situation that might require legal action.
That’s why this man was so heartbroken when he found out that his partner of eleven years had been cheating. But along with blowing up their relationship, she also had the audacity to demand that her ex continue funding her lifestyle. Below, you’ll find all of the details that the man posted on Reddit in search of advice, as well as some of the replies concerned readers left him.
This man was shocked when he found out that his girlfriend of 11 years had been cheating
Image credits: Danik Prihodko / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But her behavior became even worse when she found out that her ex wouldn't be funding her lifestyle anymore
Image credits: Karola G / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alexandru Molnar / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Sad-Entertainer8553
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Over half of American adults say that they've been cheated on
At the beginning of a relationship, it’s hard to imagine yourself with anyone else. You’re deep in the honeymoon stage, and you’re seeing the whole world through rose-colored glasses. But over time, some people start to lose the spark they once had for their partner. And unfortunately, instead of just ending the relationship, some turn to cheating.
According to the Survey Center on American Life, infidelity is not rare. In fact, they report that 57% of women and 44% of men between the ages of 18 and 29 consider cheating to be extremely or very common.
Meanwhile, a YouGov survey found that one third of Americans admit that they’ve cheated on a partner, and 54% report that they’ve been cheated on. And apparently, Americans who live with their partner but aren’t married are the most likely to have been cheated on by their significant other.
So what’s causing all of this infidelity? Well, VerywellMind notes that there are many risk factors that can make someone more likely to cheat. These include substance use issues, certain attachment styles, childhood trauma, exposure to infidelity in early childhood, mental illness, psychological issues, or having cheated in the past.
There are also certain risk factors that might arise within a relationship, such as domestic violence, emotional and/or physical disconnect, financial pressures, lack of communication, lack of respect, and low compatibility.
However, if you ask a cheater where their behavior stemmed from, they might cite unhappiness or dissatisfaction, feeling unappreciated, being bored, body image issues or insecurities about aging, lack of commitment to their partner, or a desire to seek revenge.
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It's not always worth it to try to repair a relationship following infidelity
Of course, none of these excuses are valid reasons to betray a partner. But they can help us understand where unfaithful people are coming from. When it comes to how far into a relationship people often cheat, Marriage.com notes that it typically happens within the first 11 years of a marriage or, in this case, relationship.
Now, just because someone has cheated doesn’t mean that the entire relationship is doomed. It does, however, mean that it will take a lot of work to repair if both partners choose to do so. And YouGov reports that 75% of American adults have ended a relationship due to cheating, so the odds of survival aren’t great.
Psychologist Barbara Winter, PhD, notes that you’ll know it’s time to end your relationship after infidelity if it feels impossible to rebuild. If you’ll never be able to trust your partner again, it might be time to move on.
This can also be the case if the affair reveals deeper incompatibility, or if the cheating partner refuses to show remorse or take accountability for their actions. If they don’t regret it, what’s to stop them from doing it again?
Finally, Dr. Winter points out that leaving can be an act of self-respect. If it has become clear that your partner will never treat you how you deserve to be treated, there’s no need to drag the relationship out.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have responded if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing similar relationship drama, look no further than right here.
Readers assured the author that he didn't owe his ex anything, and many encouraged him to take legal action against her
