Childbirth can be a beautiful but extremely difficult time. If you have your partner by your side and a team of highly skilled doctors around you, it can take some of your anxiety and fear away. That being said, nobody’s ‘perfect’ and nobody’s a superhero. At some point, you get tired and need food, sleep, to use the bathroom, etc. It’s only human, and everyone has their limits.
A dad-of-two, u/tincrumb, recently turned to the AITA community for some impartial advice regarding a sensitive situation surrounding his second child’s birth. He explained that he suffers from back pain and that his wife was upset that at one point he had to go home to get some rest after her emergency C-section. Read on for the full story. Bored Panda has reached out to the dad via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
It's vital to support your partner and be by their side during labor. At the same time, you also have to remember to take care of yourself
Image credits: DC Studio / freepik (not the actual photo)
A man asked the internet to weigh in after sharing how he left his wife alone at the hospital for some time after she had a C-section
Image credits: DC Studio / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: tincrumb
Labor can last for a while, and you may find yourself exhausted for very long stretches of time
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / freepik (not the actual photo)
To put it simply, you should be there for your partner when they’re anxious and scared. It’s also natural to want to spend time with them after childbirth, which is a huge challenge, is physically and emotionally demanding, and is one of the most beautiful moments that will happen in your life.
But it’s also important to be practical. Childbirth and your stay at the hospital can last a very long while. As someone who’s there to support their partner in labor, you have to take care of yourself so that you can help them as much as you can.
You have to look at the basics first. When was the last time you ate? If you’re starving, what are your options? Is there a cafeteria at the hospital so you’re close to your partner? Are there any vending machines? Are there cafes or diners in the area? Do you have to go back home to cook?
Are you sleeping properly, and are you in a good enough state to look after your partner? Where are you sleeping? Are you staying at the hospital, or will you have to go back home?
The point is that if you can’t look after yourself, you won’t be able to support your partner properly. If you’re fainting or falling asleep from a lack of food or exhaustion, then you’re causing more problems than you’re solving.
So, obviously, your priority is to be there by your partner’s side. But this does not mean that it’s a non-stop process of holding their hand 24/7 for a week straight, whispering endless words of support.
You go stretch your legs. You grab a cup of mediocre coffee from the vending machine. You chat with the medical staff and the other patients. Nature calls, or you get hungry, or you go for a lap outside the hospital for a breath of fresh air.
Maybe you brought a book that you’re reading during downtime. Maybe you’re calling up your and your partner’s relatives to inform them of any developments. There’s a lot of things going on. And, of course, you’re nearby when your partner needs you.
C-sections have their fair share of pros and cons. But in some cases, they are a necessity to protect the mother and child
Image credits: peoplecreations / freepik (not the actual photo)
Something that can complicate things very quickly is if you have any health issues and the hospital can’t accommodate them.
For instance, if you have chronic back pain, you need a proper bed. Sure, you’ll push through the pain as long as you can, but at some point, you’ll hit your limit.
According to The Mother Baby Center, vaginal birth is less risky than a C-section. The former also has a shorter recovery time, namely 2 to 6 weeks versus 6 to 8 weeks.
That being said, vaginal births can take longer and may be more painful. However, they also offer a unique experience both for the mom and her partner.
Generally, c-sections are recommended for moms who have high-risk pregnancies and can mean a longer stay at the hospital. Before making any decision, be sure to talk to your doctor about the upsides and downsides of either approach and what may be best for you and your baby.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, you may need a C-section if you have certain medical conditions or if complications occur during labor.
You may need an unplanned C-section delivery if labor isn’t progressing, the umbilical cord loops around the baby’s body, the cord comes out of your cervix before the baby, or the placenta separates from the wall of your uterus before childbirth.
Your doctor may also suggest an emergency C-section if your baby is in distress. In the US, C-sections are fairly common, accounting for around 30% of all deliveries.
What are your thoughts on the situation, dear Pandas? Do you think the dad did anything wrong by going home to get some proper sleep so he was ready to help his wife the next day? What would you have done differently? Have you ever been in a similar situation? Let us know in the comments.
Later, the man shared a lot more context
Many people thought that the man was able to balance being supportive with being practical quite well
Some readers thought that the man should have stuck it out no matter the pain he was in
