Easter is right around the corner, and you know what that means — it's time to grab your basket, run outside, and try to look for those little colored eggs hidden in the most unexpected places. This holiday is truly exciting for the little ones, but parents too can get so caught up in making it magical, they might go a bit overboard.
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Reddit user easterneighbor knows it from personal experience. For some unknown reason, his neighbor wanted to hide the eggs for his children in both his and the user’s yards. But the creator of this post was afraid his flowers and pots could be ruined by a flock of sugar-fueled kids on a mission to search for concealed treasures.
Easterneighbor decided to stand his ground and refused to let the man next door put the prizes on his property, even after he persisted and asked for the third time. However, as we probably all know from personal experience, some people just won’t take no for an answer. Read on to find out how the story unfolded, and let us know what you think about it in the comments!
While Easter is a basket full of fun for the little ones, some parents tend to go way overboard in making this holiday special
Image credits: pixabay (not the actual photo)
This man decided to consult the AITA subreddit about his neighbor who hid Easter eggs in his yard despite being told "no" three times
Image credits: Donar Reiskoffer (not the actual photo)
After having experienced this troubling encounter with his neighbor, the user decided to turn to the AITA community to find out whether they went a bit overboard. The subreddit overwhelmingly sided with the user, saying he was completely right to forbid his neighbor from planning an Easter egg hunt on his property.
Commenters pointed out many reasons not to give in to such unreasonable requests, from religious beliefs to legal precautions. What if a child got hurt in the garden? Or what if they damaged something in the man's yard? Incidents like these could quickly turn a small neighborly dispute into serious misfortune.
While some people might find it easy to understand the neighbor’s line of thinking — he simply wanted to create a celebration that would make for great memories for the children — that does not mean ignoring the user’s request is somehow justified.
Richard Zwolinski, a licensed mental health counselor and author of Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On Without Wasting Time or Money wrote that some people tend to turn negotiation into manipulation, or worse, retaliation.
"These are two maladaptive coping mechanisms which people fall into, in many cases because they didn’t have healthier communication and negotiation techniques modeled for them," Zwolinski explained. So if a person wasn’t taught how to handle disappointment with intellectual and emotional maturity or simply doesn’t know how to accept things not going their way, they may resort to such tactics.
Zwolinski believes most people who manipulate or retaliate might not be aware they have fallen into this pattern: "They want to control a situation (or a person) and have real panic, fear, or anger when they can’t, but they don’t go into these situations wishing to hurt someone."
When it comes to people they have longer-term relationships with, there’s room for discussion. "If you realize this manipulation is going on, gently explain to the person why you feel they are being manipulative," he wrote. "Start a gentle conversation such as: In the past, sometimes I’ve said yes when I didn’t really want to. Now, I’d like to feel that my needs are met, too, as we discuss this plan. Do you think you are ready to meet me halfway?”
However, if situations like these happen repeatedly and nothing changes, "You might want to limit these kinds of interactions or get some outside help."
When dealing with people we don’t know that well, there is some room for leniency, Zwolinski argued. "It’s important ... to give the benefit of the doubt and it’s also important to recognize that some people might have cognitive or other disabilities that prevent them from understanding the situation you both find yourselves in," he noted.
In most of these situations, a simple "no" can mean a lot. But in cases it’s not enough, such as in easterneighbor's story, people should not give in to manipulation. The mental health counselor suggested that taking the higher ground often helps when you are being retaliated against with verbal attacks.
"We find this is our preferred method and sometimes it actually works. When it doesn’t, though, don’t be shy about standing up for your rights. Don’t allow yourself to be abused to your face–end the confrontation," Zwolinski advised.
Redditors quickly deemed that the man was not in the wrong in this situation, here’s what they had to say
