We all have our ways of dealing with distractions. Some people wear noise-canceling headphones and listen to slow jazz on repeat. Others turn off social media and streaming apps during the entire duration of their work hours.
However, the man in this story takes a more drastic approach: He keeps his girlfriend out of their shared home for six to seven hours daily. Things came to a head when he also kicked her out of her usual hangout spot in the house.
After an argument ensued, the author turned to the AITA subreddit to ask if he was wrong for wanting his partner to accommodate his work schedule and needs.
Some people view their romantic partners as distractions, which can be problematic
Image credits: Anete Lusina / pexels (not the actual photo)
A man had been living with his girlfriend, who recently lost her job and is constantly home
Image credits: Anete Lusina / pexels (not the actual photo)
He found her presence distracting and asked her to leave the house daily as he works
Image credits: Stephanie Hau / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Things came to a head during an argument at lunch
Image credits: throwaway89348593479
Relationships may enhance work productivity, according to research
While it may not seem to be the case for the author, studies show that relationships may help boost productivity at work. Researcher Rob Cross surveyed 160 people from different backgrounds and later published the results in Harvard Business Review.
They revealed that people with mundane or demanding jobs felt the same satisfaction as those in “fun” professions if they “proactively invest” in existing harmoniously with those around them.
Cross also highlighted a study linking social connections to a sense of purpose and well-being at work. The findings suggest that healthy personal relationships positively impact learning, spark innovation, and reduce burnout.
“Relationships outside work broaden our perspective and tap into aspects of our identity that don’t rise and fall with how well things are going in the office,” Cross wrote.
However, the author’s view of his partner as a hindrance to productivity could signify a bigger problem. In an article for Psychology Today, educator Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. pointed out a study that links lower relationship satisfaction with people blaming their partners for performing poorly at work.
Prioritizing the relationship is vital in balancing romantic life and work
Image credits: Ba Tik / pexels (not the actual photo)
The author appears to be struggling to balance his work and romantic relationship. Based on his account, the latter is suffering more. The couple could avoid their current scenario if the man prioritized his relationship more.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Erika Boissiere defines this as reserving “a few gallons in your gas tank” for your partner. Her article for Forbes reminds us about the importance of checking in on your partner even when you’re having a bad day.
“You do this even if your big deal fell through, even if you’re facing an impossible deadline, even if your boss chewed you out after lunch,” she wrote.
Boissiere likewise advises blocking off time for your partner and planning a weekly movie night or a quarterly getaway. Take the time to unwind and forget about life's stressors for a few moments while focusing on spending time together.
The author, however, seemed perfectly comfortable with the distance between him and his girlfriend. It doesn’t help that he is pushing her away, which could only lead to them drifting further apart.
Unless he’s no longer interested in strengthening their connection, it would benefit them both if he prioritized his relationship more.
What do you think, readers? What could the author have done differently?
Most commenters thought the author was out of line
While a few sided with him
