“I Told Her That Was How I Felt”: Husband Makes His Wife Cry By Valuing Her Less As A Person After She Talked With Her Racist Father

While we like the people who we allow in our lives, it doesn’t mean they’re perfect and there is nothing about them that annoys us or that we don’t approve of. But we decide which character flaws we can tolerate and which are deal breakers.

Reddit user BecomingAQuartet seriously doubted his wife’s values when he found out she had started talking with her dad again. They both cut ties with him after his weird comments about the man’s son, so he felt betrayed she would let him into her life again.

The Original Poster (OP) met his wife at work and at the same time met her dad, because he worked at the same company, but was in a higher position. When the man realized that he could have a future with this woman, he decided it was time she met his son.

The both of them got along fine, but when the OP introduced his son to his current wife’s dad, it was weird. He kept commenting on the boy’s appearance and the man felt it was racist. In the comments, the OP revealed more details: “he said ‘I wasn't expecting that’ and asked ‘is his mom in prison?’ He asked me if his hair had ever been washed and if I was worried about him going to school on top of a bunch of other ignorant s**t. After the dinner, when I confronted him, he said it wasn't his fault because no one had prepared him and I didn't seem like the type to mix with "that sort" of company.” The man actually asked his father-in-law to never contact him if it doesn’t concern work.

It is not clear if the couple talked about it, but the woman also stopped talking with her dad and the two of them left the company soon after. The woman didn’t even invite him to their wedding. The OP thought that this was the end and he wouldn’t see his father-in-law in the future, but his wife recently confessed that she has been talking with him for a while now.

Turns out, the wife is pregnant and was looking for jobs she could start after giving birth as she didn’t want to go back to the company where she worked before getting pregnant. But the woman was considering going back to the company her dad worked at and agreed to a job interview.

That came out of nowhere and the OP was overwhelmed with emotions, so he didn’t really think when he told his wife that her decision makes her less of a person in his eyes, which made the woman cry. At the time, the man thought his wife deserved to hear the harsh truth, but after calming down, it seemed that it wasn’t necessary and he could have worded it differently.

However, people in the comments weren’t as merciful because they take racism seriously. In their eyes, people who are friendly to racists are racists themselves if they can tolerate such a view. Also, the wife was concealing her relationship with her dad, so how could the OP trust her anymore?

But there were some who thought that maybe the dad had changed and was sorry for talking in that way. Maybe when he thought he had lost his daughter, he tried to change and understand why he was wrong. Or the OP’s wife managed to explain to her father that he needs to change. All of this information isn’t available to us, but it could be true.

When we grow up, we don’t theoretically need our parents and if they bring more pain than joy, cutting ties with them might seem right, but maybe it’s worth saving the relationship if there is hope.

If we want less racists to exist, it is important to prevent racism and start teaching children from early years about it, but we also can teach adults that their attitude is wrong.

Corey Bennett Williams, a racial equity educator, agrees that confronting the problem is better than stopping talking to the person. She concludes that trying to educate someone about racism is an act of love, whether the racist person realizes it or not.

Do you think the wife deserves compassion? Was the husband too harsh or was his reaction justified as he was just angry that his wife would let someone who doesn’t accept his son into their lives? Let us know your opinions in the comments.