About half of Americans think about either an old crush or a romantic partner with whom they have lost touch (11% do this frequently and 37% occasionally), and 49% have used the internet to find out what happened to them.
So it's no surprise that when Reddit user Correct-Cycle5412 made a post on r/AskOldPeople, asking its members to confess if they have lost feelings for "the one who got away," the replies were also mixed.
But what makes the discussion so interesting is that folks didn't just give a yes or no answer. They shared deeply personal stories, and how those experiences have shaped their views on love and relationships over time.
#21
No. They're always there in the back of your mind.
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13points
As a result, the women among the 5,705 participants in his study – surveyed across 96 countries – reported higher levels of emotional investment and pain when a relationship came to an end than men did.
However, that same need to choose a good "mate" also makes women very "selective" about who they date, so they are good at enlisting the support of their friends to pull through and choose another person.
But men are more "competitive" in their approach, meaning the loss of a woman they see as a good catch could be deeply felt for months and years.
#22
Nope. It's been years now and I'm perpetually, chronically single because of it all. I can't date *anyone* because all I do is look for **her** inside them. And nobody deserves to be stuck with a miserable broken-hearted, hopeless romantic like me😮💨.
13points
#23
I think that first loves leave indelible marks on you. You love with careless abandon because you have no clue that it might end.
On all subsequent loves, I think you hold back just a little bit. After a while you let that last bit go but you start with a reservation.
A lesson often painfully learned is hard to set aside.
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11points
#24
No 😔 I was young. The relationship was too perfect. We had too many things in common. I became paranoid by his chivalry. I thought his loving gestures were a form of control. He was just a gentleman. After I broke up with him, he closed his North American office and returned home. Years later, we meet back up when his nephew is touring my university. I just looked up, and he was standing at my office door with that same shy smile. He's divorced and still the perfect gentleman. I'm married. We've remained professional friends and often consult with one another on projects.
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11points
#25
Definitely.
For me it was reconnecting on FB and him posting an image of Michelle Obama superimposed over a chimpanzee. Every single bit of longing, melted away just like that. Gone.
It's harder when they're good people. I found out a few years ago one of my first real boyfriends passed in his twenties and I had no idea. I had always wanted to find him. He was a good person and I didn't treat him very well, being young myself and a bit out of control. I didn't appreciate his maturity until I was older so I wished i could find him and maybe... maybe. But all that time I wished to find him he was dead. Long gone. So that's a little harder to get over.
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11points
"The man will likely feel the loss deeply and for a very long period of time as it sinks in that he must start competing all over again to replace what he has lost - or worse still, come to the realisation that the loss is irreplaceable," Morris explained.
#26
No, no feelings left except for a mild sadness that both of us trying hard wasn’t enough.
And really, if it were meant to be we wouldn’t have broken up 3 times.
I learned a lot though, and I never repeated my mistakes.
The new mistakes were never as bad either.
I’m grateful for what I learned and experienced, but if I lived my life over again it wouldn’t include her.
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10points
#27
Ha ha, yeah. I completely got over mine, with thanks whenever I think of her, which is rarely.
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9points
#28
I don’t think so. I dated mine in my early 20’s and still now, at 49 and in a happy and loving relationship with someone else…I still think about him. We actually still keep in touch and have for 20+ years. We’ve agreed to never actually meet in person, though. They would be a bad idea .
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8points
#29
I still think of him from time to time, even in my dreams. In the dreams, we're the same age as we were when we met, rather than our current ages. It's mostly about sex. No one since has known my body the way he did.
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7points
#30
I'm a very happily married male of 58 who will celebrate 34 years of marriage -- in a row, to the same woman -- on Saturday. We met my sophomore year of college (her freshman). That was nearly 39 years ago. She is my absolute soulmate, best friend, biggest buddy and big toe.
Having said that, I will admit wondering what might have happened had my girlfriend during my senior year of high school not broken up with me after I graduated. We had a very similar connection. Even though I went to a university in the same town, she still had two more years of high school to finish while both of us would be fumbling through the high school-college interface. It would never have worked out.
I lost romantic feelings for her many years ago. We're friends on a well-known social media outlet and like each others' posts from time to time. We rarely comment. And that's fine with me.
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6points
#31
No. Especially a sweetie, a compatible personality, a physical attraction. We all have.
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6points
#33
There are two of them, and they're both happy for me and perhaps a bit envious of my wife.
Who sees them and says to me "Wait, you blew it with *both* of them?" and stifles a giggle.
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5points
