With the oldest millennials turning 40 this year, our Capri-sun and Harry Potter-fueled generation is officially turning into uncles and aunts. And although it’s hard (and honestly painful to wrap our head around) how little behind we are from boomers, the reality hits and sends you a cold shower—you’re no kid anymore.
So it’s time to reflect on our millennial childhood, which was basically just as surreal and somewhat hyperreal as playing The Sims for the first time. Being the first generation to grow up in the internet age, there were many weird things about the ways we were raised by our parents.
“Millennials of Reddit, what lie were you told growing up?” someone asked on r/AskReddit, sparking a hilarious and all too relatable thread on the level of absurdity we endured. Interestingly, some of the lies will surely hit close to home to kids from latter gens, proving that it may not be about the generation per se, but rather about the fundamental divide between children and parents.
#1
Money doesn’t buy happiness. Sorry folks. But in the world I’m currently living in, it absolutely does.
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205points
#2
America is the best. It turns out we are ok in many things, but not the best, and in many areas we are not even ok.
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182points
#3
"You won't have a calculator everywhere you go."
Guess what Mrs. Diaz, I have a portable computer with access to the internet that fits in the palm of my hand.
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159points
#4
You need to define yourself by your job. I wasn't told this directly but we live in a culture of dream jobs or people asking "what's your job" when they meet you. My work is cool but it's just work. My hobbies are what I define myself around.
153points
#5
Be loyal to your company. They'll take care of you.
Also, follow your dreams, get a house with a yard, and you'll be able to retire.
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145points
#6
"You'll regret spending so much time on that computer when you're older"
Nope.
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127points
#8
Everyone in here is forgetting that WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE FLYING CARS BY NOW!
116points
#9
Being a good, ethical person will unlock doors. I only become a stepping stone for others.
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113points
#10
That some dude is gonna walk up to me and offer me free drugs.
WHERE THE [HELL] ARE MY FREE DRUGS GOD DAMMIT
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109points
#11
"Most people on the internet are dangerous weirdos!"
Most people on the internet are really ordinary people.
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103points
#12
"It will all make sense when you're older." [Screw] that, everything makes even less sense. Now I'm older and expected to be independent and STILL don't understand half the sh*t I need to accomplish that successfully.
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92points
#13
I was told that sex was a reward gifted by women to be bestowed upon deserving men. Growing up it was awkward (and incredibly embarrassing) to understand that women can enjoy and want sex just as much as men.
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85points
#14
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"
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82points
#15
That if I don't have my life figured out by the time I'm 25 then I have some serious problems.
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77points
#16
All guys will only want sex from you *all the time. Turns out that kind of thinking is harmful to a young woman's sexual-psychological development.
*Edit to add/specify that this also includes the idea that men are always "ready" to have sex at a moment's notice, and if they aren't, it obviously means there's something wrong with you (or them) or they're cheating (ridiculous, just because it's anecdotally true for some doesn't mean it's a certainty).
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73points
#17
So many movies growing up have people going to college, finishing at like 21, and already being engaged and married immediately after. Then within like 2 years of working they're already buying a house with like 3 kids by 25.
Like Jesus Christ I'm 26 and just got engaged, only now getting a career in my field, and I'm still living at my parents after living away for like a year. Everything's just so damn expensive and there's just no money to be found. I can't imagine raising kids yet.
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72points
#18
"Student loans are normal, don't be afraid to go into debt for that out of state graduate degree"
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69points
#20
In Finland, we were told that once the big age group born after WWII retires, there will be jobs everywhere, for everyone. That didn't happen. The number of open positions has remained stagnant for ten years while the unemployment rate is rising.
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63points