30 Lies About Motherhood That Future Moms Should Be Aware Of, As Shared By Moms Who Already Know Better

This may sound harsh but don't expect to have a 'village'. Many people I know with young children struggle becaue they don't have a support network or childcare from grandparents. The thing is, a lot of grandparents are in their 40s/50s and are still working full time and struggle to fit everything in. I had no support when my girls were small and because of this, as a grandmother, I want to be there for my kids and grandkids but still have to work full time and can't always have them on my days off. Feel like I fail as a parent AND a now a grandparent most weeks.

Disciplining your child is harder than it seems.

It is very easy to spoil your kid. Especially if you have the means to, it is incredibly easy to want to spoil the f**k out of them. To buy them everything they want, either because you love them or because they won't stop crying.

It's so easy to want to blame another person for YOUR child's mistakes. You might even often have to catch yourself mid argument and realise that it is YOUR child who was in the wrong.

This all becomes even more true when you're a step-parent. You want to be the ideal parent and have your step-child get along with you or at least take some liking towards you. You'll inevitably have to buy them something at some point, but it's easy to want to shower them with your money to try win their favour. It's an easy trap to get caught in.

I don't know why so little people talk about this.

that it's an end of your own life.

no! not unless you make it so

People call it having “kids”. I don’t like that phrase. IMHO Ultimately your job is to raise kids into good adults. People who can have loving respectful relationships. Who can be responsible and find their way in the world. You need to teach them values and ethics. Money skills, how credit card debt can hold them back. When they are really young how to take care of their nice belongings. Not to waste food and water. The importance of taking care of yourself and how to do that when life is challenging. The ability to laugh at yourself and not take things to serious.

Many of these lessons are learned by example the parent/parents or family lives by.

(am a child but) if your older kid is 10+ yrs older than the younger kid, don't expect them to b a parent to the younger 1

My 16 yo cousin has to p much b a mom to her 3 yo sis cuz her actual mom is either out or in a rlly bad mood most of the time

Traditionally, “selfless” has been the highest compliment a mother can receive, and it’s a big fat lie. When the epitome of motherhood/womanhood is to lose one’s self completely, embracing this model only teaches our children, especially the girls, to do the same. We are better mothers, leaders and teachers when we model boundaries, self-care and self-respect. Obviously there is a great deal of unavoidable sacrifice involved with being an attentive mom, especially in the infancy and toddler phases, but it shouldn’t define a mother beyond that. Reminds me of the Jungian quote - “The greatest burden a child must bare is the unlived life of its parents.”

That unless you breastfeed full time then ween them onto organic food, you're doing a bad job.

I could only breastfeed my child for 4 weeks due to being so anaemic and ill after his birth, my body literally couldn't produce enough milk to feed him. So I started to bottle fed him and it was the best thing I could have done, as it allowed my husband to take over some night feeds and let me rest. When I weened him at 7 months old, I fed him a healthy, balanced diet. I remember being mum shamed by reading posts on social media from parents who made all their children's food and blended it all themselves etc. This guilt lasted about 1 week from me, then I released that I worked full time, fed my child a healthy diet and they were happy and healthy, and I moved on quickly from the guilt.

We're all just trying our best to survive parenthood while trying to support and encourage our little ones to become happy, loving little humans in themselves.

That thinking it’s “the best thing you’ll ever do” is enough to have a kid.

That you can just figure it out.

That it’s ok to be a mom if you haven’t begun to deal with your own childhood trauma.

Having a kid means learning to put another human first. Always. Not at the expense of your own well being, I’m not into self sacrifice and that can absolutely be a form of abuse in itself, but too many people enter motherhood lackadaisically and, as someone who has worked with survivors of abuse and neglect for nearly two decades, I’m over it.

It’s wild to me that anyone can be a parent when you need to apply for a drivers license! It’s wild you can hire full time care to raise your kids while you don’t spend any time with them at all. It’s wild that folks use an ACTUAL HUMAN to magically solve their problems.

I get it. Society makes you think that way. Birth control should be more accessible. Motherhood should be more equitable.

But we are putting real human lives at stake when we don’t implore people to really think and ensure they are ready to be a parent before doing so.

Note: once someone has a kid that kid should be theirs and the child welfare system sucks, is racist and classist and horrible. I’m talking about preventing it BEFOREHAND. Which is why, for the love of goddess, reproductive healthcare should be free and accessible to everyone.

If I see one more post from someone who is thinking about having a. Baby, and someone else writes back saying that “it was the best thing I ever did” WITHOUT mentioning how it’s working out for the kiddo…..

It’s. About. The. Kid.

Rant over.

That you're always going to make the right choices for your child.

That it gets easier.