30 Lies About Motherhood That Future Moms Should Be Aware Of, As Shared By Moms Who Already Know Better

That as a woman you will be naturally more equipped to care for the child than the father will. That's b******t. With the exception of producing breast milk, men are just as capable of attending to a baby's needs. Parenting is a learned skill just like any other.

Not every woman is meant for motherhood.

That you have to sacrifice every single bit of your body, time, and soul for your children. If breastfeeding is sucking the life out of you, literally and figuratively, and you hate it and it upsets you, then stop! Formula has kept babies alive for decades. If you’re at your wits end and are about to have a breakdown, it’s okay to lay baby down in the crib safely and walk away for a moment to catch your breath. Believe it or not, you don’t actually have to do those staged monthly photos with a sign that shows how old your infant is which you then post in FB.

Literally do what works best for you. You have to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. A mentally well and happy mom is best for a healthy, happy baby.

Your job is to raise good humans who can be independent one day. Not to make them your best friend. They will have their own friends. If you’re relying on your children to be your friends, you’re doing something wrong.

You are not “the giving tree” like the shel Silverstein book. Do not bend over backwards giving everything and doing everything for your kids. It only makes them entitled and you depressed. In fact, the job is slowly returning responsibility to the child so by the time they are 18 they are independent.

Sometimes you don’t immediately love your kid. When they placed my kiddo on my chest it was weird and took a couple days before I reconciled that this squirming loud person was the one I carried for months. I love my kiddo more now than I did then, after getting to know them.

And that’s ok. It’s not always that perfect love where nothing else matters instantly. Sometimes it takes time.

It’s also literally impossible to spoil an infant. If they are crying, they need you. Whether that’s changing, food, or comfort. When you let them “cry it out” you’re just teaching them they can’t depend on you. Studies show their stress levels don’t diminish when they stop crying. They just realize you’re going to fail at being there for them.

You may not want to be a mother. Don't just have kids because that's what everyone else is doing.

Motherhood is not your identity. Don’t forget who you are before you had a baby. That person still deserves her dreams, ambitions, and experiences.

The moment when you birth your child won’t necessarily be a magical, happy moment like the movies make it out to be.

I was miserable. I felt sudden relief of all the pressure and pain, yes. But I was so horribly shocked about what had just happened to me that I didn’t feel happy. I felt traumatized and terrified. I was happy that my baby was okay, but I felt like I was just beyond messed up and dazed.

I felt like a bad mom for a long time for not being over the moon with joy. But it’s normal to feel that way and there’s nothing wrong with it . Birth IS traumatizing for a lot of women.

That you’re going to be happy all the the time even when baby is wanted- you’re not! In fact, you may even feel pretty bummed or miss your old life frequently and that’s normal . Older relatives telling you you’re a bad mom for not being 100% sparkles and s******g rainbows over baby have forgotten what it felt like

That every woman has maternal instinct and will eventually develop baby fever. Or if you enjoy spending time with children then it means you should become a mother.

That you need to buy all kinds of gimmicky specialty items or your baby will suffer life long consequences. Like, I didn’t have a diaper wipe warmer, and my kids are successful adults...Don’t let capitalists take advantage of you and instill fear!

Two kids is harder than one. Don't have another just to entertain the oldest, I know a few people that did that.

Also I don't think anyone emphasises how much you will lose yourself and truly get exhausted by it.

That it gets easier or ever truly ends. It doesn’t and it won’t.

I have 3 kids, 20, 21 and 24. Teenage years are HARD and expensive if they play sports, especially travel. Don’t under estimate that commitment either, financially or time wise.
You also don’t stop ever being a parent. Especially if you’re a single parent. My husband died 5 years ago and finishing raising them alone blows.

Both of my sons are military and although they are perfectly capable and have done deployment, they still ask mom for things. Part of me enjoys it, it’s nice to be needed but…. other part is annoyed. You’re an adult, figure it out. Depending on the situation, I don’t help. You fix helicopters, you can make a doctor appointment.

They are my biggest joy and greatest accomplishments but it really is a life long commitment.

That if you’re young and healthy it will be easy and safe. I was only 27 and a healthy active person, and pregnancy destroyed my body and I now have a ton of medical and very expensive dental issues that I never had prior to pregnancy. I’ve already lost 6 teeth and may need partial dentures. I have extreme tension headaches and vertigo, as well as horrible acne and hair I never had before. They really don’t stress enough how even one pregnancy can completely break down a healthy body

That you won’t have a favourite kid. You will.

That you are supposed to let a child “just cry it out.” No. That is garbage. You answer their cry, each and every time. By responding to them saying they need something in a consistent manner, you are literally laying the foundation of their trust in the world for the rest of their lives. If they don’t get their needs met when they express the need, they will learn to mistrust and be afraid of the world. Always answer the cry.

That it's all joy and happiness and sunshine and the best thing ever. I saw a friend of FB asking others opinions on having kids as she wasn't sure. So many people were like ,"it's the best feeling ever and there's so much joy". Not a single one told her that it would likely also strain her marriage due to the extreme changes in the first year after having a baby, that she would feel exhausted and that as the child grew they would still demand a lot of her time and attention, and she would lose freedom to do whatever whenever, and she'd have make sure they had a sitter to have dates etc. No one told her the reality. They only tried to sell her on the dream, and I know damn well they all had the downside experiences too. I always wanted to be a mother, love my son and have no regrets, but I never doubted or was unsure of wanting him. And there is happiness and joy, but those are not the only feelings by far. And I feel society tried to deceive women into motherhood being so rewarding and amazing. It can be. But it can also be soul sucking and isolating and no one admits that enough.

That you'll eventually get your body back.

HA!

Besides the fact that is hard to loose weight, sometimes you just don't have the time or the energy to diet and exercise, specially after a c section.

Sometimes all I want to do is watch TV in my PJs and binge ANY high calorie snack there is in the house.

If I had a dollar for every time someone has said I'd loose weight by breastfeeding I'd be fkn rich.

Body changes after pregnancy.

I had to say goodbye to many pretty and expensive shoes :(

That breastfeeding is easy and simple. Big nope to that one. My first one didn't latch properly, so I pumped. 2nd one latched fine, and I was really happy, until 3days later when I could peel the skin of my nipples. I cried every time when my baby was hungry before he was near me. I dreaded it so much, I was in constant pain. After a bit over a week I started pumping again. And I felt like an absolute fail. This time it was my fault, and that somehow was way worse. I knew it was fine, he got my milk and even formula would have been great, but it messes with your, already hormonal, brain so much.