Even people who have been together for a long time can grow and change into different people and might sometimes no longer be compatible. This can be devastating, especially if their partner suddenly drops a bombshell and expects everything to be alright afterward.
This is what a man went through when his wife cheated on him with a woman and then came out as a lesbian. Despite this huge betrayal, things went from bad to worse when she started involving their eight-year-old son, leading to intense drama and conflict.
Divorce can be a painful experience to go through, but when kids are involved, it can become even worse for the parents
The poster shared that his wife of 7 years suddenly came out as a lesbian after having an affair, and they agreed to get divorced, and that each has 50/50 custody of their son
While the man was devastated and being supported by his sister and girlfriend, his ex-wife got engaged to her affair partner and wanted her son to be at her wedding in Spain
The poster had a tiff with his ex over custody arrangements after her wedding, and also found out that she was trying to convince their kid to call her new wife “mom”
The man confronted his ex about the “mom” thing and about their kid learning Spanish, and was shocked when she said she wanted sole custody of the boy to “complete” their family
The guy also spoke to his ex’s partner, who tried to convince him to give up custody so as not to hamper her wife’s mental health, as she was just getting over her trauma
People urged the man to seek legal action soon, as his ex and her wife could be trying to take his child away and possibly move to Spain
In an update, the man explained that since he had all his son’s documents, his ex couldn’t just take him away, plus he had the support of her parents and other friends
With some help from his lawyer, the father set rules with his ex about posting their son online, installing parenting apps, and not bringing up sole custody anymore
Folks were still suspicious of the woman’s motives and felt that she was using their 8-year-old son as a pawn to get what she wanted
The ex-wife was open to all the rules the man set, but still wanted to take sole custody of her son, so that she and her wife could create the family she always wanted
The poster made sure to record the conversation with his ex-wife while he let her know that she couldn’t use their kid as a pawn or try to take the boy away from him
The man also confirmed with his lawyer friend to make sure his ex couldn’t just take the kid away, especially since he had all of the boy’s important documents
The poster made sure the law was on his side, as he just wanted his son to grow up with both parents supporting him
People were glad that the man had taken a firm stand, but urged him to be on alert about his ex taking his son away and to possibly alert Customs and Border Protection
In a surprising update, the guy mentioned that his ex finally said that she wasn’t going to take their son away since she and her wife were planning to adopt a child
The poster was also confused when his wife said that she wanted to possibly revisit the custody arrangement and have their son over less if she adopted a child
Folks felt that the woman was being selfish by “dropping” her son the moment she was going to adopt a new baby, and urged the man not to worry about custody battles now
In an update, a couple of months later, the woman legally agreed to get custody of her son only 2 weekends a month and let him be with his dad for the rest of the time
Later on, the man went on vacation with his girlfriend and son to India, and his ex adopted a baby with her wife, meaning she spent even less time with her first kid
When the ex-wife found out how much time her firstborn was spending with the man’s fiancée, she got jealous and called him a hypocrite
The guy felt that his ex had made her bed by changing the custody arrangement and spending all of her time with her new baby, so she shouldn’t be complaining now
The poster explained that if his ex ever wanted to revisit the custody arrangement, then he’d invest time and money figuring it out with her in court
When a spouse comes out of the closet, it can be a surprising and painful experience for their loved one. That’s why Verywell Mind explains that folks might take longer to understand their identity, and their spouse needs to understand that this revelation has nothing to do with them or demonstrate any fault in their relationship.
Unfortunately, most people whose loved one suddenly comes out might experience low self-esteem, moments of self-doubt, feel like their life is falling apart, and even be concerned for the future. It can be tough, as their entire relationship status and lifestyle may need to change overnight.
There are many different ways couples undergoing divorce can handle the situation if they have kids together
Even though the end of a relationship can bring a lot of overwhelm and upheaval, ParentCo mentions that adults need to be careful about how much or how little they involve their children in the process. It’s best to acknowledge the transition and let the kid know that they are still figuring things out and that the whole process might take time.
Children may struggle when they see their parents apart, which is why adults need to establish a consistent routine so at least one part of the child’s life feels stable. This can involve set pick-up and drop-off times, as well as some days when the family still spends time together.
Shared custody can be difficult to navigate, but both adults should stay respectful and courteous throughout the process. The simplest way to handle it is to set days for each parent and stick to that schedule, no matter what's happening in either parent's life. Document this system to avoid legal issues later.
In some situations, if the adults aren’t amicable and can't agree on a custody schedule, the courts may have to intervene. Then the parents must follow a legally mandated system and cannot change or adapt it to fit their needs, or else there may be consequences.
If one adult does not follow the rules for custody, then action might need to be taken
In such a case, The Barrows Firm mentions that the concerned adult should start documenting violations by noting the date, time, and nature of the act. Collecting witness statements can also help build a case against the ex, which can be helpful in court.
In this case, because the man quickly realized his previous partner planned to take his child to Spain, he was able to put a damper on her plans. He also tried to set up an amicable custody arrangement, but things didn't always go smoothly between them.
What do you think is the best way for the poster to deal with his ex-wife? Do share your honest perspective on the story.
Folks sided with the man and urged him to document all the dates the woman had missed spending with her son, in case she brought up any more legal issues in the future
