42 Valuable Lessons People Picked Up Embarrassingly Late In Life

Always be ready to survive alone. Some people suddenly change, today you're important to them, tomorrow you're nothing to them and that's real life.

You get into bed and are preparing for a good sleep.

You feel like you wanna pee.

It's cold out there, so you decide to hold it back.

“I would be in a deep sleep in minutes anyway”, as you lied to yourself.

You tossed and turned for 2 hours, finally you put on your slippers, rushed to the toilet.

You have wasted 2 hours making up your mind, 2 hours that could have been used for a good rest.

When something is bothering you in your life, be it sand in your shoes, long-due homework, a school bully, sexual molestation in office, you figure it out ASAP.

Troubles simply won't straighten themselves out, you wanna have a better life, you fix your troubles the very moment they emerge, and fix them once and for all.

During my teenage years, I would travel often to my native place of Chennai, India. It would mostly be a regular family visit to meet my ageing maternal grandparents.

I used to be extremely shy during those days. spending most of my time alone or with my cousins - Mona and Lavanya. Both of them are a year younger than me. This allowed us to be tight-knit cousins discussing on wide range of topics every time we meet.

As soon as I entered the home, I would have a quick 2 minute formal chat with both of my grandparents and right away engage in conversations with my cousins. My brother Jeevan, on the other hand, is a jovial type, cracking jokes with everyone in my family, including my grandparents.

He would spend hours and hours talking with my grandfather. I always wondered why he would spend time with his instead of exciting conversations with us.

The day came when my grandfather was seriously ill. He asked us to visit him one last time.

With shivering voice and tears in his eyes, he knew his time was up and said goodbye to each one of us. He passed away the next day. My grandmother passed away due to cancer in the next year.

As years passed, I grew out of my teenage personality into a mature person. After I joined college, I came in contact with a girl who shared amazing stories of her moments with her grandparents. I tried to understand her love for her grandparents but couldn’t as I didn’t experience it, although I had the opportunity.

That moment was an eye opener. I missed the opportunity to have amazing moments with my grandparents. Moments I could have shared with my loved ones in the future.

But I can’t undo this one mistake of mine even if I try, even if I’m extremely sorry.

I learnt a valuable lesson. Death takes away the moments you can live with your near and dear ones. I vowed to never repeat this mistake with my other family members and close friends.

Build loving memories with your loved ones while they are alive, before death takes away that opportunity. There’s no point asking for another chance after they’re gone.

Not me but one of my friends.

He had a rather amusing revelation. He only started wearing glasses in 2017 during 10th grade.

Prior to that, he genuinely thought that everything was supposed to become blurry around 20 feet away.

It wasn't until then that he realized people could see individual green leaves, not just a vague green blur.

Talk about realising something embarrassingly late.

Tying my shoes.

When I was a kid, I learned a lot of things earlier than a lot of kids, but I never did learn to tie my shoes correctly. My parents even figured out the problem at the time. They tied their shoes opposite from one another. Either way works OK, but you have to be consistent about it. I developed the habit of tying shoes partway like Mother did and partway like Daddy did. My parents were puzzled by my frustration and unwillingness to practice until they figured out what they were doing.

I wore loafers a lot anyway, so it didn’t much matter, and the way I tied would work long enough to get me through gym class. And sometimes I probably tied shoes in a consistent manner, just not all the time.

I was in Boy Scouts, and I could tie all the knots that I was supposed to. It just never occurred to me to apply what I knew to tying my shoes.

Over the years I didn’t give the matter much thought. But a few years back I put some strings that were too long in my shoes, and as they came loose, I kept stepping on them. I got tired of that, so finally I went to the internet and found a page that explained how to do it. I now tie them consistently like that page instructed.

In the meantime, I had studied five languages and got several degrees. I just had never mastered a basic childhood skill.

Hold on to friends from your past, no matter how hard or weird it can be to stay in touch. Good relationships grow and adapt to time and distance. As easy as it can be to let someone fade away, strong friendships are worth the effort.

That there are 3 holes down there, for a woman. I was a biology student in school but never paid attention to details, maybe I was too young for that. One we were discussing about menstrual cups, then I (and my friend) asked, “what if we want to pee?”. My friend looked at us in shock, and said “There is a separate passage for the menstrual blood” I know! It's unbelievable to me too! Facepalm!

What I think it took me way too long to learn is how to be happy and content with myself as a person, and how to live in the moment. I spent all of my teen years into my 20s and 30s in a daze. I hated myself, hated my life, blamed others for what was essentially my own shortcomings.

It wasn’t until I hit my 40s that I began to figure all of this out. First and foremost, if you have an issue with someone else’s behavior, it could very well be yourself that has that issue. I fell in love at 17 for the first time and for the next four years I struggled - WE struggled - to have a happy relationship, but it just wasn’t happening. And I blamed him for my unhappiness - if he wasn’t doing this or that, then I’d be happy. So we broke up and I spent the next twenty or so years in relationship after relationship, all with the same problem. One day it hit me that the only one responsible for our feelings is US. And then I stopped living for tomorrow and began to live just for right now - and that is the only time that matters - RIGHT NOW.

Here is the ironic part: that guy I fell in love with at 17? We hooked back up after 35 years and now we’ve been married for five years and we are happy with ourselves and with each other. I feel sad that I wasted so much of my life expecting others to fill the holes inside me, when the power to be happy was in my hands all along.

In elementary school, my friends would often ride bikes together after school. They often invited me to join them, and I always refused because I didn’t know how to ride bikes! I would fall off every time I attempted. My friends started making fun of me (in a rather friendly way) because they thought that everyone that age should know how to ride bikes (we were 9–10).

I finally learned to ride bikes at the embarrassingly late age of 14.

Early in life, I wished that I learned that just because adults were arguing, did not mean they hated one another or that the ‘end was near.’

Later in late, I wished I learned that not everyone is for you. Live your truth and light.

So many things. Soooo many things

But I'll just explain one. Swallowing.

APPERENTLY, I never swallowed food before a year ago.

I had an incident where I was eating an apple slice. And I coughed and ended up swallowing it, and I told my friend that it was the creepiest feeling to have something solid go down my throat and I didn't choke at all becuase it was small.

And his response was. “You mean…eating normally? Like swallowing? “

I was flabbergasted. Of course it's not normal, it went down solid dude like as in a whole piece that still had some level of solidness.

He then explained undeniable proof. People eating noodles whole without chewing.

It was then that I realized I don't swallow food, at all. I just chew until it disappears entirely (which is why I dislike some chewy meats, since I don't swallow them it takes like 10-15 minutes to eat a piece)

Freaking, earth shattering discovery.

Also I still can't force myself to swallow food like that, only rarely like. An individual fourth of a bean or something well chewed.

Super disturbing to me.

All my life, I've kicked off and kicked up a fuss whenever I faced a problem. The little things that ordinary people let go by the wayside and not usually react to have got me in so much trouble until finally, late in life, I got my head around it—for instance, driving over several times a plastic bottle of cola because the fizz erupted all over my legs while driving. Just silly little bouts of extreme temper erupting over nothing. It wasn't until late in life that a police officer told me,” It's not what happens, but how you react to it that matters,” and it's true; it's how we deal with any given situation in life that really matters. I only wish that I had the intelligence years ago to stop making the same mistakes that have got me in so much trouble that could have easily been avoided. But life is a learning experience; it's a pity that it took me 55 years to realise.

Trying to live by “Keeping up with Joneses”. I fell for this notion from of my own insecurities. My own “well, I work hard”. My own lack of discovering it is better to invest in a few enriching things or experiences rather than in many indulgences.

Social Media, advertising and commericals make us think we really need the newest gadget, car, fashion, or home. Why is there always a new trend out? To keep you buying more.

You will feel like you “made it” if you just get ________ (fill in the blank”).

Yes, the shiny new thing are fun to look and play with, but we soon tire of these things.

Live frugually. Don't let the stuff own you. You can still have fun. Find out what is really important to you and save for those few things.

I assure you that you will not regret it.

As I age, it amazes me to see how much I’ve changed from year to year. In all the hustle and bustle to get somewhere, do something, and be someone, it’s humbling to realize how much I have learned up to this point, and how little I actually know.

I’m reminded how imperfect I am and how much work I need to do on myself to be the kind of person I want to be. Each day, I struggle with uncertainties, insecurity, fear, and doubt.

This is what I feel and maybe you relate in some way.

No one gets through life without struggle and pain. Learn to struggle with dignity and overcome your challenges.
You are in control of your hopes and dreams. If you are not, someone else will control them for you.
It is always your decision who you let into your life and who you leave out. It is always a matter of personal boundaries.
No one can put you down unless you give them permission.
Life will never be fair, and dwelling on it will only make you resentful.
Your kids are not you. Never assume they want to follow in your footsteps. Treat them as individuals, not clones.
Don’t take life too seriously. No one actually knows what the hell they’re doing. We just generally try to do a reasonably good job with what we have in the context of our current existence.
I know one thing for sure, life goes by really, really fast. Live each day so that, at the end, you're reveling in how amazing your life was, not regretting all the things you did or didn't do.

I have always believed that learning is not a means to an end, but an end in itself. One thing, however, I did say to new people entering my team, obviously before I became a freelance, was “You can make as many mistakes as you like during your probationary period, as long as you make each mistake only once”. Alternately, to quote Otto von Bismarck, “Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others”.

What is something that is embarrassing to admit you learned late in life?

In order to get the attention of others and also to show to them that I am smart and intelligent, I started to do some mannerisms - like grew french beard, speak in English with a different modulation (different to Indian English), speaking a bit loudly to attract attention etc.

After sometime I realized the stupidity of such things. I was totally embarrassed about what I did - in fact those mannerisms would have made me a laughing stock.

Even now when I see someone doing such things, I put myself in their shoes and feel very ashamed and uncomfortable.

I thought the belly button was a genuine knot that the doctor tied from the umbilical cord and then he pushed it in to make an inward belly button. I blame both people with outie belly buttons that looks like a small knot and my mother who told me that a skilled physician can make the difference between an innie and an outie. My mind took 1 and 1 and made 3. I shall not reveal the age at which I realized the truth, because you know, dignity.

1-Debt will beat you down if you don’t stay away from them. Will make you mentally and physically ill, and will also attract a whole range of negativity.

2-Whoever you marry has/must match your fundamental values and vision towards life, otherwise you’re trapped in some sort of emotional jail. Make sure to take this step once you’re grown up enough (after 33 preferably).

3-There’s a time for specfic things, do them when you’re supposed to or consciously decide not to do them due to right and coherent reasons; otherwise you start a path full of regrets.

People are extremely superficial.

You may not have realized it if you are exceptionally attractive or social. But the thing is, most people don't want to be around you unless you provide them with some form of instant gratification. This can come in the form of being exceptionally humorous, pleasing to look at, or good at something.

It doesn't matter who you are on the inside, if you don't immediately have something to offer people on the outside. You could save the world, and become a celebrity for a few years, but if you aren't socially gifted, your fame will be extremely temporary.

Being an extrovert who also happens to have extreme social anxiety, this was one of the hardest lessons I've had to come to terms with over the past 7 years.

For me there are three that come to mind. I think the first major one is simply context. What do I mean by that? Well I suppose you could call it other things and something like awareness would also do it. Let me explain. As you go about your day, you’ll witness a lot of things such as the motorist getting upset because some other driver jumped in front of them. True enough, you could probably sympathise with his anger and maybe you’d be angry too. But this is precisely what I mean by context. As we get older (and hopefully wiser) we start to view things from broader angles. We’ll ask ourselves questions like “does this really matter?”, “is anger the appropriate response?”. In short we look at the wider context (the bigger picture) of any given life situation. We place them in…context. So, whereas your much younger self will perhaps get angry, harbour grudges, refuse to deal with certain people etc etc, the older version has that ability to see any situation for what it is. And, in general, they’ll reach the conclusion that “no, this is not important”.

But, some people sadly never reach this stage. They hold on to bitterness as if their very lives depends on it. And, for them, simple little grudges end up becoming the foundational stones for long, deep rooted feuds.

And this brings me on to my second lesson: that simple ability to apologise. Someone once said to me words to the effect of: “I never apologise, it’s beneath me and it makes me look weak”. This one’s always stayed with me quite simply because I’ve always believed that the absolute converse to that statement is true. Surely, a heartfelt apology (not the politician who’s been caught type apology!) is a display of strength, isn’t it? It’s a person saying “what I did or said was wrong. I acknowledge that, please forgive me”. Surely it’s the weaker, arrogant person who clings on to their position despite knowing that they are plainly in the wrong? But, therein lies a problem: some people genuinely believe that they are never wrong. I can understand those situations where one had absolute belief in an given situation but, I’ve yet to meet the person who is never truly wrong.

My last lesson is time. It’s precious. It’s a one way street and once it’s gone; it’s gone. And with it goes opportunities. I’m clearly stating the obvious here but, some people don’t get that. They live in a way that suggest that they believe time is endless. Now if only they had some…context.