Even the happiest of couples have their ups and downs. But what do you do when there are more downs than ups in your relationship with kids in the mix? You’d have to tread carefully to avoid upsetting the children with a big blowout.
One woman has reached her limit after her lazy hubby ruined the birthday party their toddler had been desperate for. When she tried confronting him about it, he just iced her out, leading the woman to think they needed counseling. She went online to rant.
More info: Mumsnet
Every couple has their ups and downs, but with this woman’s husband, it’s always more down than up—literally
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He has the weirdest habit of demanding his wife pass him things like drinks and car keys directly into his hand, even if they're by his side
Image credits: master1305 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
During a little family thing for her birthday, he once more insisted that his wife pass his drink directly into his hand, which was at floor level
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Furious, his wife lost it and asked why he was always so rude and weird, but he told her not to get mad at him in front of their kid
Image credits: Redlorryyellowcar
He stormed upstairs, leaving her to finish the rest of her birthday party with their confused and upset kid before turning to the web for advice
OP begins her post by telling the community that she’s extremely annoyed and thinks she should vent before speaking with her husband because she can’t tell whether she’s tired and hangry, or being unreasonable. She goes on to say that her 4-year-old son had been wanting to celebrate her birthday for days.
In anticipation of the minor affair, she bought some juice to make mocktails with, but when she offered her husband his drink, he meekly put his arm out before letting it flop nearly to the floor and telling her to pass it into his hand. She told him he could lift his hand and take the drink like a normal person, but he refused.
Frustrated, she put it down on the side table, but her toddler took it and put it in his father’s hand. According to OP, this lame-arm thing is a habit of her husband that she hates and finds truly weird. Having had enough, she asked him point blank why he was being like that and ruining the party, but he just ignored her and refused to toast.
At that point, OP flipped, leading him to tell her that she shouldn’t be losing her temper at him in front of their child, then leaving OP to celebrate what was left of the occasion with her confused and upset 4-year-old.
OP concludes her tale of woe by saying that, before she wrote her post, her husband tried to apologize, but she just got annoyed at him again and asked him why he had to treat her like that, which he didn't have a real answer for.
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
From what OP tells us in her post, it seems as though her husband might be passive-aggressive with shades of narcissistic tendencies thrown in. Passive-aggressive people will do whatever it takes to avoid conflict or directly discuss the matter at hand.
If you’ve ever had to deal with a passive-aggressive person, you’ll know just how frustrating it can be. So, where does this behavior come from?
In her article for VeryWellMind, Kendra Cherry writes that there are a few things that can contribute to passive aggression, including a family upbringing where the direct expression of emotions was discouraged, mental health challenges, situational circumstances, or discomfort with confrontation and direct communication.
In one of her articles for VeryWellHealth, Jaime R. Herndon lists the signs of passive-aggressive behavior in people with narcissistic traits. A few of these include using indirect hostility like backhanded compliments, giving silent treatment, and using underhanded sabotage.
By its very nature, passive-aggressiveness can lead to the most subtle of cues, as evidenced in this short video where comedian and late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel explains passive-aggressive texts.
Bored Panda reached out to psychotherapist Barbara Grace to get her expert take on the situation.
When we asked her what she thought of the husband's bordering-on-childish behavior, she had this to say, "Unfortunately some adult men can remain stunted with the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old due to no accountability in their relationships (parents or partners). With limited ways of expressing their needs in a relationship some men create power games to feel good about themselves by placing their partner in a one-down position."
In her post, OP does say she thinks she and her stubborn hubby could benefit from some counseling. We just hope she has the patience for it because, at the moment, he’s acting closer to his son’s age. What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes?
Do you think she’s being unreasonable by demanding an explanation for her husband’s childish behavior? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers slammed the husband for being so lazy and spoiled, and many agreed the couple could benefit from some counseling
