Certain relationships are so important that they have the potential to either vastly improve the quality of your life or to do the opposite. The relationship between landlords and their tenants is one such case. If they are not on the same page and if there is no mutual respect, it can lead to a lot of resentment on both sides. And nobody needs that kind of daily stress in their lives.
Landlady u/HaikuMom808 turned to the AITA community for some impartial advice after being driven over the edge by her tenants who have issues with shopping addiction. She explained how the couple renting a unit in her house has endless packages delivered, which has caused her tons of problems already. Now, she's considering her options. Scroll down to find the full story, plus the mixed responses the readers gave the landlady. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for further comment.
Some people who suffer from shopping addiction go overboard with ordering things online
Image credits: nancyl21 / envato (not the actual photo)
A landlady turned to the net for advice after her tenants had a non-stop stream of packages delivered to their home
Image credits: varyapigu / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: HaikuMom808
Shopping addiction is a serious condition that affects around 6% of Americans. If left unchecked, it can wreak havoc on your life
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / pexels (not the actual photo)
The constant ordering of packages might be indicative of shopaholism, aka shopping addiction or oniomania. It's a behavioral addiction that centers around compulsive buying. To oversimplify a bit, some people buy things to make themselves feel good or to avoid negative feelings. If left unchecked, shopping addiction can grow and begin affecting other areas of your life.
Verywell Mind explains that around 6% of the people living in the United States are thought to have a shopping addiction. The issue has been around since at least the early 19th century, and it has escalated recently due to widespread consumerism.
Some major signs that an individual might have a shopping addiction include things like always thinking about the things they plan on buying, being unable to stop their compulsive shopping, and lying about the things they've bought, even going as far as hiding them.
Furthermore, shopaholics can feel very intense emotions such as euphoria after buying something, or feel regret or even guilt about the things they've purchased. These people tend to shop when they're stressed or sad and buy things they don't actually need, often hoarding them without using them.
Shopping addicts can run into serious financial problems. To put it bluntly, they overspend, regardless of their income. They might be unable to pay off their debts and they open new credit cards without paying off the balance on their old ones.
Normal shoppers, on the other hand, buy items that they need and end up using. Their purchases don't cause them financial distress, and they don't actually feel a sense of compulsion to keep buying. They might go on occasional splurges, to be sure, but these situations are the exception, not the rule.
Helping someone out from time to time is fine, but things get murky if you feel like you're always running errands for them
Image credits: Kampus Production / pexels (not the actual photo)
No matter what situation you are in, there's no alternative to open and honest communication. If there's a problem, you need to address it. That way, you can get on the same page, enforce your boundaries, come up with some healthy ground rules, and look for compromises so that everyone ends up feeling heard.
Of course, this only works if the other party is willing to actively listen to your perspective. It's a major issue if you keep talking about problems and get ignored. So, if diplomacy and friendliness both fail, what options are you left with?
First, you could try broaching the topic again, only this time by explicitly listing the consequences of what happens if those rules aren't followed. Next, you could officially update your tenancy agreement to have a clause that explains clearly, in great detail where packages can be delivered and who should pick them up. It's likely not the frequency of the deliveries that's the main problem (though the shopaholism is concerning), but the fact that it's constantly inconveniencing the landlady.
Third, kindness and human decency aside for a moment, there's no reason why the landlady has to moonlight as an unpaid package delivery woman for her tenants. Itâ's one thing to lend a hand every now and then out of empathy. It's another thing entirely when you're essentially forced into doing a massive chore for someone who should be able to do it themselves.
So, why not let the tenants deal with their package deliveries themselves? If they aren't able to do this and the items get stolen, well, they get stolen. Maybe that'll send the message that they have to take care of their belongings, instead of forcing others to take on that responsibility. Allowing someone to face the natural consequences of their (in)actions is a great wake-up call.
A good rule of thumb is to try to be respectful of each other's boundaries and look for common ground. Good communication is irreplaceable
Fourth, there are always alternatives to having packages delivered to your home. You can pick them up at shops or delivery points or have the items delivered literally anywhere else. This little bit of inconvenience is probably miles better than destroying the positive relationship you've already built with your landlord. Why ruin everything over your shopaholic tendencies?
Lastly, if communication has completely broken down, then maybe it's best to part ways before the situation gets worse. The landlady mentioned in her story that her tenants are on a month-to-month lease. This gives her a lot of flexibility when it comes to finding better tenants.
Instead of suddenly driving up the rent or banning package deliveries outright, it's probably healthier and more direct to have a chat about how it's not working out. Everyone moves on with their lives. That being said, the author noted that her current tenants are easy to get along with and pay rent on time. Delivery issues aside, those are two qualities that any landlord would love for their tenants to have.
This entire situation goes beyond a question of respect and communication, though. It's a health problem, too. The author of the viral post pointed out that she has a ruptured disk in her back, so she shouldn't be lugging random heavy packages around. If the landlady were to hurt herself this way, she could end up in hospital, potentially facing major medical costs. For everyone's sake, it's best to avoid that risk entirely.
What are your thoughts on the entire situation, dear Pandas? What would you do if you were in the landlady's shoes? How would you try to solve the issue if you were the tenants renting a unit in her home? How many package deliveries do you think is too much and verges on shopping addiction? Have you ever had to deal with someone who's a shopaholic? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
The story got some mixed reactions. Here's how some people responded to the author
