This post may include affiliate links.
Multi-award-winning TV director and broadcaster Vicki Broadbent, who is also the founder of the acclaimed family blog Honest Mum, believes that a good birthday party, first and foremost, requires love.
"The people your child cares most about should ideally be present," she told Bored Panda.
"Of course, delicious treats and a birthday cake (homemade is wonderful) with some thoughtful presents are usually the ingredients for a fun party and will meet most children's expectations. Kids just want to feel special and loved on their big day just like adults."
According to Broadbent, kids' wants and needs are different. "Some children don't want parties, so discover what they'd like to do to mark the day," the author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada) said.
"My middle child shunned parties for years while they were young in favor of smaller family gatherings in restaurants, the cinema, a bowling trip, or even staying in a hotel for the weekend."
The mom-of-three suggests simply asking your little one what they would like to do—if they're old enough, you can also provide feedback on their thoughts.
There are many reasons why birthday parties are so special to kids. For example, in a wonderful book by Vivian Gussen Paley, where a group of children are discussing the aging process, one boy, Frederick, tells Ms. Paley, "My mother doesn't have no more birthdays." Ms. Paley asks, "Do you mean she doesn't have a birthday party?" "No," Frederick replies, "She really doesn't have a birthday. How I know is no one comes to her birthday and also she doesn't make the cake."
According to Jacqueline Woolley, Ph.D., who is a professor of psychology and director of the Children's Research Lab at the University of Texas at Austin, what this conversation hints at is the intriguing possibility that young children might believe that birthday parties actually cause them to get older.
The little ones can become really emotional about these special occasions. "Have you ever tried to propose to your young child that perhaps you could skip the party this year?" Woolley asks. "Or perhaps you have been unable to hold the party because you were on vacation or had another important family event at that time. If so, you have experienced your child's distress."
"If you thought about it, you may have assumed that he or she was most distressed for fear of not receiving presents, or not eating cake, or not seeing friends. What I will suggest instead is that a more basic fear may underlie this reaction — a fear that if the party is not held, the child might not age!"
The team at Woolley's lab at the University of Texas told kids three stories about children who were each 2 years old and who were about to celebrate their third birthday. One child had a party on his birthday. Another child, due to various circumstances, did not have a party. The third child, due to various other circumstances, had two parties. The children were asked to indicate how old each child would be.
"Our results revealed that a significant number of children between the ages of 3 and 5 believed that the birthday party itself actually causes aging!" the psychologist said.
Many children said that the child who didn’t have a party would remain 3, and many responded that the child who had two parties would actually become 5 years old.
"Children, like adults, are driven to seek explanations for personal, meaningful events. To children, the annual experience of the seemingly sudden change from one age to another is of great significance. Yet there is no obvious physical cause, as there is with other sorts of changes. Thus, children may grab onto the event that regularly co-occurs with this age change – the party – and assign it a causal role," Woolley explained.
Also, children don't always like other people's suggestions. A recent survey of 2,000 parents with kids ages 3–12 discovered 73% say their youngsters are not so easy to impress.
According to parents, kids expect their favorite foods (67%) and clowns or costumed characters (56%) for their birthday party, more so than inflatable playsets (44%) or laser tag (43%).
As for party themes, 81% of parents receive a specific request from their kids, with unicorns (46%) rising to the top, and video game-themed (41%) birthdays among kids' popular picks.
Conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Kinder Joy for the launch of their new birthday eggs, the survey also uncovered that the right guest list (58%), activities (58%) and treats (58%) are among parents’ absolute must-haves to make their kids’ birthday a success. Other essentials include goodie bags or party favors (49%).
At least the little ones know what they want. Working with an already established theme (albeit a funny one) sounds easier than coming up with something from scratch.