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It’s no surprise that people’s secrets tend to change quite significantly with age, ranging from keeping a stash of candy hidden away at the age of 9 to keeping certain illnesses a secret at the age of 39, for instance, so family members don’t get sick with worry.
In a piece for the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Michael Slepian suggested that as many as “97% of people are keeping a significant secret at any given time, with the average person having about 13 secrets”, and added that children develop the ability to keep secrets at around the age of five.
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Discussing the topic with Bored Panda, Slepian pointed out that in their early years, kids' secrets often deal with not only accidents and messes, but also mischief. “During the toilet training years, this often includes wetting their pants or the bed. These kinds of secrets are normal and inconsequential (except for having to clean up).
“Secrecy becomes a problem when children keep their struggles secret,” the secrecy expert continued. “If a child is struggling at school, with a substance, or with mental health, keeping the secret works against getting the very help that they need. If the secret deals with something smaller, a private possession or a secret joy, this is a normal part of childhood development, carving out a domain that separates oneself from one's parents and family.”
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I'm only 16 at the time and plan to come out when I turn 18.
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Needless to say, opening up to anyone can be difficult, let alone to a mom or a dad, who are usually the people in charge of disciplining the offspring. However, fostering an honest relationship and being supportive can help kids open up to their parents easier.
“Angry outbursts and cruel punishments in response to disclosures may close the door on future confessions,” Slepian pointed out. “But when children believe that their parents will express understanding and compassion, they will be more likely to disclose, confide, and ask for help when they need it.”
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