It isn't part of a parent's job to be a "perfect" parent, yet a parent who does not care about some serious persistent problems affecting their children probably shouldn't expect their kids to thank them later. And while such parents might similarly wish to not take responsibility for becoming distant from their kids, someone might just be honest enough to point the situation out to them.
At least this happened to this Redditor’s son when, after years of ignoring his children being bullied in their own home, he was livid at his father for breaking it down to him that it was his lack of care that led to his children closing themselves off to him.
More info: Reddit
A man accused his kids' grandfather of turning his kids against him, but was told it was his lack of care
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
The man lost his wife when their two kids were preschoolers and moved in with another woman
Image credit: u/Sea-Purpose2202
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
Image credit: u/Sea-Purpose2202
The man's new wife had two kids of her own who were already teenagers and acted cruel towards the man's kids
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
Despite the younger kids and their grandparents trying to raise an issue with the father, he ignored them
A man brought it to the r/AITA community online after his son accused him of turning his kids against him and making him feel bad about himself.
The man told the story of his son’s relationship with his two kids, explaining that his first wife and the mother of his two kids passed away when their kids were preschoolers.
After losing his first wife, the man moved in with another woman who had two kids of her own. The woman’s kids were already teenagers, but from the very beginning, they exhibited cruel behavior towards the man’s kids.
The older kids would break their stepsiblings' things or say things like they “deserved to have a dead mom” or “nobody would want them around”.
Despite the man’s kids as well as their grandparents trying to raise an issue with the kids’ father, he did nothing to protect his children.
The man’s kids spent a lot of time with their grandparents, who even tried to get custody of them, but were denied it. Eventually, after enduring years of bullying by their stepsiblings, the man’s kids hardly speak to their father despite living together.
The man came to the conclusion that it was the kids’ grandfather who turned his kids against him but was told by him that he was living the consequences of ignoring his kids all along.
The kids grew up enduring years of bullying and their grandparents even tried to get custody of them
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
The man blamed the kids' grandfather for the kids hardly talking to him, but was told he is living the consequences of ignoring them
Sibling bullying was discussed by Verywell Family, who explained that while siblings tend to fight and bicker, when their disagreements become abusive, it should be identified as bullying and not an acceptable sibling behavior.
People tend to dismiss sibling bullying as rivalry, and in worst cases simply ignore it; however, bullying between siblings can harm victims in the same ways as bullying by peers, or can even have a worse impact by disrupting the one place a child is supposed to feel safe - the home.
This may lead to emotional issues - feeling hopeless, alone, and isolated, struggling with anxiety, depression, and identity issues. Therefore, when one sibling intentionally hurts or humiliates another, it should be addressed immediately.
Verywell Family pointed out that allowing children to continuously fight without intervening is harmful to both kids, as kids need help learning how to solve problems. Without being taught how to work and solve problems together, children resort to unhealthy actions to get what they want.
Parents similarly might contribute to the bullying if they play favorites or label kids as “the smart one,” "the athletic one,” “the quiet one”.
Verywell Family advised parents to deal decisively with sibling violence by setting limits and intervening if the bickering includes rude remarks, name-calling or physical abuse, in addition to requiring children to treat their siblings with respect and seeking to ensure that everyone in the family feels loved, nurtured, and treated with respect.
The man's story gathered 12K upvotes on Reddit and people judged not the kids’ grandfather, but their father to be a jerk in this situation. Some commenters pointed out the irony of the kids’ father accusing the Redditor of making him feel bad, oblivious to what he made his kids feel for years.
What’s your take on the situation? Share your thoughts in the comment section.
Redditors shared their takes on the situation
