I was in Nairobi visiting family. Went out for a drink, ended up being held hostage by 3 very unsavory characters who proceeded to strangle me and then beat the s**t out of me. After they’d put the fear of God into me they proceeded to rob me blind. Forced me to hand over the pins to my atm cards. By a coincidence, I was carrying all my cards with me that night (moral of the story, never go out with all your cards). Once in a while they would proceed to beat the s**t out of me probably just to keep me in fear. When all this was happening I remembered something a woman had once told me many years ago. In 1994 she was in Kigali, Rwanda when the Rwandan genocide happened. She wasn’t a target because she was a Kenyan so she and her family managed to get out of the country when foreigners were being evacuated. In the evacuation they had to be escorted through groups of Hutu militia armed with all sorts of crude weapons hunting for Tutsi’s. She told me, ‘If a mountain gorilla charges you, you don’t run. You get down on your knees and bow your head and show deference to him. Same thing when you're in a conflict situation. Do not show soldiers or militia any hint of anger or defiance or contempt. Avoid eye contact at all costs, keep your head bowed and your mouth shut. They are hyped up on testosterone and the killing fever, any hint of defiance or aggression can get you killed.” So that’s what I did. I showed deference, kept my head low, avoided eye contact as much as possible. I didn’t want them to see me as a threat. As long as they felt they had subdued me they didn’t beat me up. Eventually after robbing me blind and forcing me to borrow money from my friends they bundled me into my car and dropped me off into the middle of nowhere. So here’s my advice if you ever get yourself kidnapped: 1. Cooperate with them. Give them what they want. If it’s money, give them. As long as you’re alive you will make more money. Money means nothing to you when your dead. 2. Don’t fight back until you have an opportunity to do so. Don’t show anger, defiance, contempt, this is the real world not a hollywood movie. You’ll get yourself beaten up or killed 3. Find a way to connect to them. One of my kidnappers laid off me after he found out I’d taken my mum to hospital the previous day. I think I’m probably alive because of him, who knows.