All relationships are complicated in one way or another. For some, these complications stem from miscommunication—for others, it’s differing characteristics or whatever else.
For the OP, money was the thing that basically ruined his relationship. After moving in with his girlfriend, he learned she was in a lot of debt, but wanting to have a future with her, he didn’t give up on her. That was until he learned that the debt wasn’t the biggest problem about the woman herself – it was the way she handled money overall. And let’s just say that after this realization, he couldn’t look at her the same.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, a seemingly good relationship can crumble when one person turns out to be far more irresponsible than they initially appeared
Image credits: Amina Filkins / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A man moves in with his girlfriend and learns pretty quickly that she is drowning in debt
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
They decide that he'll be the one paying rent until she settles her debt, which seems reasonable in their situation
Image credits: Josh Sorenson / Pexels (not the actual photo)
That's where the woman's irresponsibility shines through — instead of trying to settle her debt, he continues giving money to her family, who caused her to fall into debt in the first place
Image credits: ThrowRA5758484
To make matters worse, the money that she doesn't lend, she either spends on things like Starbucks or gambles away online
When the OP first moved in with his girlfriend, she insisted on paying rent, and the man reluctantly agreed. That was until he found out that she was struggling with debt. So, being a nice boyfriend, he insisted that she settle the debt first and only then would he start paying rent.
It’s not uncommon for couples who live together to figure out a rent-paying arrangement that works the best for them. Whether it’s splitting it evenly according to their different incomes, or only one of them pays while the other takes care of other things—similar to this story’s situation.
Then, not that long after, the man noticed the girlfriend was stealing his stuff and giving it to her family as Christmas gifts, which caused quite a drama between them. It also turned out that the clothes weren’t the only thing she was giving to them. Apparently, a big part of the woman’s debt was acquired by her constantly giving money to her mom and sisters.
Technically, lending money to family members can be considered a good deed, as it’s helping someone who’s both in need and close to you. Yet, people should be wary not to let their generosity lead to financial problems by, for instance, lending more than they can or not establishing boundaries regarding repayment.
Clearly, the OP’s girlfriend didn’t establish such boundaries, as it turns out her family members keep guilt-tripping her into giving them money, but never gave it back. Mom alone owes over £6000. And still, the woman doesn’t stop giving her money, bringing herself more and more into debt.
To make her financial matters even worse, the woman also likes to gamble online. Just as any other type of gambling, like casinos, scratch cards, or anything else, the online kind isn’t any less harmful.
For example, it’s proven that people who gamble regularly put themselves at risk of lower self-esteem, stress, anxiety, sleep-related disorders, and many other mentally draining things. Then, there’s the financial strain, which particularly applies to today’s story.
Here, at some point, OP noticed that she had spent £300 in 20 minutes for a “hobby.” The rest of the money left after she gives and gambles it away, the woman spends on food or Starbucks, so there isn’t anything left to start paying off debt.
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
After the man called her out on this, they fought, and he ultimately kicked her out despite her pregnancy
While at first, the original poster was on board with his girlfriend not paying rent, his stance changed when he understood that she wasn’t even trying to make her financial situation better. After all, their arrangement was based on her paying the debt and then starting to split the rent with him, but apparently, she neglected the agreement.
So, when she once again said she could no longer pay the monthly rent, it caused a nasty fight between them, ending with the man kicking the woman out. The problematic thing here is that during this time, she was pregnant.
That’s why when he posted about this whole situation on Reddit, quite a few people were quick to say that he was. He knew the woman was in financial trouble but still decided to create a family with her, only to throw her out a bit later.
At the same time, some folks pointed out that the woman’s whole shtick sounds a tad suspicious—is she really pregnant, or is it just her way of guilt-tripping her boyfriend into letting her stay? In the update, he debunked this theory—she really is pregnant.
The next update provided some juicy details regarding their already unstable relationship—the woman likely stole again from him, even though he doesn’t have any proof yet. But what this alleged instance proved to him was that ending the relationship was a good choice—the ex doesn’t seem like a person who’s keen to change, and is in his words, “Poison.”
The only thing that ties them together now is the baby, but he’ll be asking for that DNA test as soon as possible. What if, beside troubling him financially, she was also cheating? While that would hurt, at least it would cut his ties to her. And if it’s not true, he’ll have to make sure to take care of a kid, as he said his mom is a “deadbeat.”
That’s where the current story ends, as the OP hasn't provided another update regarding whether the baby was his or not. Well, no matter what the outcome ended up being, we can only hope the ex-couple figured out the way to co-parent without traumatizing a kid.
Netizens speculated that the woman might be manipulating him and wasn't actually pregnant, but he debunked this in the updates, where he also stated that he was done with her
