Living with one of your best friends is not so different from living with a significant other. You have the best time together, you share meals and have movie nights, and you agree on how to split bills and the cost of living. But eventually, when one person introduces a partner into the equation, there is a chance that the home dynamic will shift. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened to one university student recently.
2 days ago, Kindafunctionalguy on Reddit reached out to the “Am I the [Jerk]?” community wondering if he is right to want his roommate’s girlfriend out of their apartment. Below, you can read the full story and understand why it’s become so tense in his apartment. Let us know in the comments whether or not you think he is justified in his requests, and then if you’re looking for another Bored Panda piece featuring roommate drama, check out this story next.
This university student recently reached out online to ask if he is wrong for wanting his roommate's girlfriend out of their apartment
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Image credits: k2theswift (not the actual photo)
He explained that they had been cohabitating peacefully until he accidentally took one of the girlfriend's Red Bulls
The student also shared some updates on the situation since he originally posted it online
It’s disappointing when you meet a friend’s partner, and your personalities just don’t seem to match. Both of you love and have great relationships with your friend, but for some reason that’s where the similarities end. Kindafunctionalguy is trying hard to be a great friend by not outright telling his roommate to break up with T, but the stress of having to be around her all the time takes a toll on him too. So what are you supposed to do when you don’t like your best friend’s partner? We consulted Bustle’s list of “Things To Do If You Don’t Like Your Friend’s Partner” to gain some insight on the topic.
Counselor and relationship expert David Bennett says that it’s a difficult situation to navigate. “The problem with confronting someone about their partner is that it forces them to think of reasons to justify why they are with that partner," he explains. "So, every time you bring up a friend’s partner’s faults, it causes them to defend their partner, which further reinforces their decision to be with them. My experience is that unless they come to see their partner’s faults on their own, they won’t really listen to you as a friend."
But there are a few tactics you can deploy to de-escalate the situation. First, be careful not to be reactive, and try very hard to focus on the positives. If you want to confront your friend, don’t use subjective or emotional justifications for not liking their partner. Be objective, and try to find something good about them as well. This way, your friend will be less likely to get defensive. Remember to recognize your own confirmation bias as well. If you know you don’t like this person, every little thing they do might get under your skin, but that’s only your perception. And always be sure to make one-on-one time for you and your friend. Regardless of whether they want to maintain their romantic relationship, they are your friend first. Don’t allow a valuable friendship to be tainted over something silly like this.
Only time will tell what will happen with Kindafunctionalguy, his roommate, and T, but it sounds like his friendship is strong enough that it can easily endure this bump in the road. And who knows? Maybe he and T can eventually become friends. Let us know in the comments what you think about this situation. Have you ever had drama between a roommate and a significant other? We would love to hear how you handled those situations, pandas.
Readers have overwhelmingly sided with the student, with many calling out the girlfriend for acting entitled
