To delve deeper into the topic of introversion, Bored Panda reached out to Fallon Goodman, Ph.D., psychology professor and clinical psychologist who also directs the Emotion and Resilience Lab at George Washington University in Washington, DC. In her lab, Goodman researches ways for people to overcome social anxiety, establish and maintain social relationships, and investigates resilience in the face of adversity.
We often think of introverts as not really into socializing. So, we asked Goodman why they might find it tiring or even a bit scary. Before answering the question, she stressed that it is important to distinguish between social fears (what scares people) and social preferences (what people want). “Introversion is a personality trait involving a person’s preference for socializing: how often, with whom, in what size group, and so on. In general, introverts prefer social interaction with less stimulation like one-on-one conversations instead of parties; listening more than speaking; and working on their own versus in groups. In contrast, social anxiety involves fears related to socializing, such as saying something embarrassing, freezing up, or getting rejected.
Introversion and social anxiety are distinct, but sometimes they overlap. For example, an introvert might have less practice socializing in big groups. When they head to a happy hour, they’ve had fewer similar experiences under their belt than extroverts, which could ramp up their anxiety about how to expect and how it will go.”
Ever wondered if introverts can switch things up and become more extroverted? Let's explore whether it's possible for introverts to “learn” the ropes of being more outgoing. According to Goodman, we can’t exactly reprogram our personalities, “but introverts can figure out the types of social situations they enjoy most. Do this with honest self-reflection. Which social situations are you most excited about? With whom do you feel like you can effortlessly be yourself? If the world was ending tomorrow and you could only socialize one more time, what would it look like?”
Scrolling through the internet, you've probably stumbled upon countless introvert memes. But here's the real question: do these memes paint an accurate picture, reflecting situations that resonate universally? While Goodman couldn’t generalize across all introvert memes, she thinks that the fact that there are so many—and that they are so popular—suggests they are resonating with people for a reason. “They hit on micro-moments that introverts can relate to, like the relief of canceled social plans or the dread of talking to a customer service representative on the phone. One misconception I do see often is that being an introvert implies you don’t like any form of socializing. This is not true. An introvert might prefer to have a smaller inner circle and less frequent social contact but still enjoy certain social interactions when they occur.”
Looking to enhance your social well-being or break down barriers to connection? Whether you identify as an introvert or simply value meaningful interactions, Goodman has some recommendations for you!
“Step 1: Identify the problem areas. What are the social areas where you feel unfulfilled? List them out: friends, family, romantic relationships, coworkers, etc. How satisfied are you within each area, and what else do you need to feel fulfilled? You can’t solve a problem if you don’t know which problem you’re solving.
Step 2. Identify barriers. What’s getting in the way of you connecting with people who you want to connect with? Research in my lab has identified some common barriers that might be applicable: social anxiety, motivation, opportunity, interpersonal conflict, and time/obligations. Identify one or more barriers for each social area in which you’re feeling disconnected.
Step 3. Make a game plan. Once you know where and why you’re struggling, identify actionable strategies. Tactics to improve social connection should be targeted. Start with easy wins: low-cost interactions that require limited effort, like a quick chat with a store clerk or text to a family member. For the introverts among us who are averse to planning social outings, try building in social interactions around your daily life—a short catch-up with a coworker in the hallway or a quick hello to a neighbor.”
