Misogyny is all around us. But as writer Nina Renata Aron pointed out in The New York Times, the word, which conventionally means hatred of women and was once a radical accusation has become like a synonym to the gentler "sexism" and "chauvinism" in popular use, and with the term's popularity comes a better understanding of what it encompasses.
And one Reddit user found a way to illustrate it. On Friday, u/horridhollowhead made a post on the subreddit r/AskWomen saying, "What is some internalized misogyny you have to continuously remind yourself to unlearn?" And many ladies came through with their experiences and realizations. From the language they use to the way they look at themselves, here are some of the things that stood out in the comments.
#1
Sayin « son of a b**ch » to insult a guy. Like seriously if i want to hurt him why I’m insulting his mother
If i say « bastard » well it means that his mom cheated on his father
Crazy how so much slurs are related to women
Have to stop sayin that
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158points
#2
Assuming prestigious positions (judge, CEO, etc) are men before I know their gender. Caught myself doing it when my attorney referred to the judge who would be at our hearing as "her" and I was surprised.
It's scary how subtle it can be, and how it can pop up without you even realizing those things were internalized.
132points
#3
My knowledge isn’t less valuable or accurate than a man’s knowledge.
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130points
#4
That sex is not something women give to men, but something BOTH parties (should) enjoy.
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127points
#5
That my worth and existence as a woman isn't entirely decided by my appearance. That I don't need to achieve a standard of prettiness before I'm worthy of respect, love and self-confidence
That my value as a human being won't suddenly disappear the second I turn 30. Even though on average women spend 65 years of our lives as an adult, we're only considered "young enough" for 12 of them. For the remaining 53 years, or 82% of our adult lives, we're made to feel like old hags by society. It sucks
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123points
#6
I don't have to dye my greying hair if I don't want to. On the flip side, I can have it rainbow coloured if I feel like it.
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121points
#8
That I don't have to have a husband or kids to live a fulfilling existence. (Totally cool that some women do though!)
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112points
#9
I was downtown one day and saw this woman in leggings, boots, and a jacket. She had a pony tail and Starbucks. I thought "Ha, look at this basic bi-" and had to stop myself. I then thought "No, she looks comfy and caffeinated, and that pony tail looks great!"
I often catch myself judging stereotypes for no damn reason.
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109points
#12
The not like the other girls trope. I'm just like other women, and I like most of them.
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105points
#13
The hatred of hairy armpits in pictures. Idk if I’ll ever unlearn this one. I just hate how it looks (particularly on me).
102points
#14
That women who do make up, nails, or pay attention to the way they look are not shallow or self-conceited. “Girly” should not be an insult.
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99points
#15
That i dont owe prettiness to anyone
here’s a qoute by Erin Mckean about it:
“You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female’.”
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97points
#16
Formerly raised Christian woman here: sl** shaming. I'm much better about it now but basically do not judge women's character who are promiscuous.
Also women who are hyper feminine. As long as they don't tell me I need to be the same I can respect their lifestyle as long as it's for them not to solely please men when they don't even like wearing all that stuff.
That my first sexual experience was my choice and that virginity is a concept. That nothing was taken from me. I chose to do it and we did an action together. Period.
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90points
#17
That it's not my job to monitor everyone's emotional status, and take care of their feelings and mental health.
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90points
#20
I can wear whatever length skirt or pants I want. I’m not a wh**e for wearing ones that end anywhere above my knee.
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79points