29 Family Secrets That Left A Mark In The Worst Way Possible

Even if they are “refreshing” to hear about, keeping family secrets can do more harm than good. Apart from creating a false sense of reality, the severity of hiding such relevant information can cause an illness, according to author and mental health educator Suzanne Handler. 

“Keeping traumatic secrets can result in excessive stress and guilt for the person carrying the burden of knowledge, even when that silence is thought to be the best possible option for all concerned,” Handler wrote in an article for Psych Central. 

According to Handler, some of the symptoms may range from physical manifestations like headaches, backaches, and digestive problems, to mental struggles like anxiety. Others may even self-soothe through substances like alcohol.

Speaking of anxiety brought on by keeping a secret, licensed marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein says that the burden may push the individual to disclosure. 

As a result, the secret-holder may turn to another person for support, but at the same time carry the guilt of betraying another person’s confidence.

However, other people may have more malicious intentions in disclosing a family secret. Epstein says they may use it as leverage, then spill it out as a form of revenge later on. 

“A family member may threaten to expose a family member's substance use issues if that family member fails to seek out treatment, for example,” she noted.

According to Handler, it is natural to long for understanding and clarity about why we are the way we are, and the existence of family secrets can only erode the family's foundation. This is why Epstein says it is important to understand a person’s intentions behind sharing them. 

“(Doing so) can build empathy within the family about the monumental task of navigating the line between maintaining privacy and keeping everybody safe and healthy,” she said.