Every family has their fair share of drama. However, others take it to a whole new level by keeping secrets they think won’t see the light of day.
Unfortunately, descendants have no choice but live with the shock for the rest of their lives. Some are even unable to shake off what they’ve unearthed, much like the people who shared their stories that you’re about to read.
While there are a handful of heartwarming anecdotes, some of them are so horrible that you couldn’t help but feel sorry for the person.
#1
My mom's family is Appalachian mountain folk. I have Native American features.
So I asked my mom. And got told vehemently that I'm 100% white.
So after my mom passed away, I was going through stuff. Found out that not only was her grandmother (my great-grandmother) Cherokee, but my biological father is also.
I found a wonderful picture of my tiny Cherokee great-grandmother standing hand in hand with my incredibly tall Welsh great-grandfather. I treasure that picture.
So I asked my mom. And got told vehemently that I'm 100% white.
So after my mom passed away, I was going through stuff. Found out that not only was her grandmother (my great-grandmother) Cherokee, but my biological father is also.
I found a wonderful picture of my tiny Cherokee great-grandmother standing hand in hand with my incredibly tall Welsh great-grandfather. I treasure that picture.
104points
#2
My parents got divorced when I was about 3 years old. I stayed in contact with my mother but my father got full custody, as mom apparently relinquished custody because of her financial situation and claimed she made the difficult decision of giving custody to my dad for the sake of us kids, because he could provide a better life for us. "The most difficult sacrifice she ever made". On several occasions my mother would also get drunk and lament her life and say something to the effect of, "I never should've left your father. He was a good guy, he didn't deserve that. We would've been happy."
I had heard variations on it a bunch of times, so one day I decided to share it with my dad. I was in my mid-20s at that point. My dad, who at no point in my life ever discussed the divorce or my mom, replied,
"She said that?"
Yeah.
"I left her because of her alcoholism and illegal substance use. She was using a lot when you were little. She even drank a lot during the pregnancy. Kids deserve a safe home to grow up in."
I later got that verified from my maternal grandmother. Apparently, everyone knew but never bothered to tell me that my dad was the one who left my mom because she was a substance user and an alcoholic. She didn't have to "make the difficult sacrifice" of giving dad custody because he could provide a better life for us; the court straight up gave dad custody after a court battle where my mom was deemed unfit to be a parent because of said substance use.
For about 20 years, I'd thought my dad got dumped by my mom, but turns out, he was just a really good parent and made the right choice for us kids.
I had heard variations on it a bunch of times, so one day I decided to share it with my dad. I was in my mid-20s at that point. My dad, who at no point in my life ever discussed the divorce or my mom, replied,
"She said that?"
Yeah.
"I left her because of her alcoholism and illegal substance use. She was using a lot when you were little. She even drank a lot during the pregnancy. Kids deserve a safe home to grow up in."
I later got that verified from my maternal grandmother. Apparently, everyone knew but never bothered to tell me that my dad was the one who left my mom because she was a substance user and an alcoholic. She didn't have to "make the difficult sacrifice" of giving dad custody because he could provide a better life for us; the court straight up gave dad custody after a court battle where my mom was deemed unfit to be a parent because of said substance use.
For about 20 years, I'd thought my dad got dumped by my mom, but turns out, he was just a really good parent and made the right choice for us kids.
97points
#3
When I was 13, my dad “went on a business trip” for a while. He came back quieter, skinnier. Mom wouldn’t talk about it.
Ten years later, I asked again. He had a breakdown. Severe burnout and depression.
He didn’t leave—he stayed in the detached garage, alone, for months. Mom brought him food. He just couldn’t function. They told us the business trip story to protect us.
Now I get why he always said, “Mental health is real.” I wish he’d told us sooner. But I also understand why he didn’t.
Ten years later, I asked again. He had a breakdown. Severe burnout and depression.
He didn’t leave—he stayed in the detached garage, alone, for months. Mom brought him food. He just couldn’t function. They told us the business trip story to protect us.
Now I get why he always said, “Mental health is real.” I wish he’d told us sooner. But I also understand why he didn’t.
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84points
Even if they are “refreshing” to hear about, keeping family secrets can do more harm than good. Apart from creating a false sense of reality, the severity of hiding such relevant information can cause an illness, according to author and mental health educator Suzanne Handler.
#4
Every Thursday night, my mom said she was “doing the weekly shop.” She’d leave with a grocery list, come back three hours later, bags full.
Turns out, she was taking night classes in architecture. She never told anyone—said she “just wanted to learn something quietly.” She even got certified, but never switched jobs.
She kept designing little things though—birdhouses, dollhouses, a perfect doghouse. I didn’t find out until I saw her name on a certificate at a community center art show. She acted like it was nothing. But it’s the coolest flex I’ve ever seen.
Turns out, she was taking night classes in architecture. She never told anyone—said she “just wanted to learn something quietly.” She even got certified, but never switched jobs.
She kept designing little things though—birdhouses, dollhouses, a perfect doghouse. I didn’t find out until I saw her name on a certificate at a community center art show. She acted like it was nothing. But it’s the coolest flex I’ve ever seen.
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81points
#5
My grandpa was a drag queen.
When he returned from the war, he would take “trips to the city” on weekends with his military friends. My aunt found his drag costumes (wigs, heels, etc) in his closet and my grandma scolded her and said to never talk about it again. It slowly came out that he was actually taking all this stuff to perform in the city on weekends.
81points
#6
My welsh great-grandmother had passage booked on the Titanic in 1912. She ended up not going because she "fell ill". Turns out it was actually an out-of-wedlock pregnancy that gave her such bad morning sickness, she couldn't go. She lost the baby. She came the following year in 1913 and met my great-grandfather. She only told my mom (who she helped raise during the summers) who then told me.
Great-grandma getting knocked up saved an entire branch of our family tree!
Great-grandma getting knocked up saved an entire branch of our family tree!
72points
“Keeping traumatic secrets can result in excessive stress and guilt for the person carrying the burden of knowledge, even when that silence is thought to be the best possible option for all concerned,” Handler wrote in an article for Psych Central.
According to Handler, some of the symptoms may range from physical manifestations like headaches, backaches, and digestive problems, to mental struggles like anxiety. Others may even self-soothe through substances like alcohol.
#7
My grandpa had a quarter that was warped from a bullet hitting it. He showed it to me when I was a kid and said that it was in his pocket and coulda saved his life. It wasn’t until way later in life that I found out it was my grandma who attacked him.
66points
#8
I was helping my buddy move out of his childhood home when we found a box of random stuff in the basement. Old magazines, broken Christmas lights, a dusty picture frame. Inside was a photo of a family — mom, dad, and two kids. One of those kids... looked exactly like me. Like, seven years old, same haircut, same expression — it was me. But I had zero clue who the people in the photo were. My friend told me the picture came with the house — his parents never even touched that frame. I took it to my grandma. She stared at it and quietly said, “That’s not you. That’s your brother.” Apparently, before I was born, my parents had a son — they gave him up for adoption. His name was Alex. I never knew he existed. But somehow, years later, his photo ended up back in my life... through a forgotten basement and a random move.
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63points
#9
My mom was always tired, always had “headaches.” We just thought she was overworked. After she passed, we found her medical journals. She had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis six years before she passed away. She didn’t want to “be a burden.” She went to treatments alone. Hid the symptoms. Even taught herself to mask the limp. She kept raising us like nothing was wrong. I admire her strength, but I also wish she would let us help. No one should have to carry that alone.
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61points
Speaking of anxiety brought on by keeping a secret, licensed marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein says that the burden may push the individual to disclosure.
As a result, the secret-holder may turn to another person for support, but at the same time carry the guilt of betraying another person’s confidence.
#10
My 65-year-old dad found out his mother wasn’t actually his mother… she was his grandmother, and his sister was his birth mother. She had him when she was 15, and back then, it was extremely frowned upon. They sent her away while pregnant, and she came back when he was born, and was raised as if he was another sibling. His entire family knew but kept it a secret, even after the “mother” and “grandmother” all passed away. He only found out by chance when he was getting a passport and needed his birth certificate. He doesn’t even know who his birth father is. It’s so sad.
58points
#11
I found out through a random Facebook message: “I think we might be related.” I assumed it was a prank. Until they sent baby photos that looked... a lot like mine.
Turns out, my parents had a child before they were married. They gave her up for adoption and never mentioned it. She found me after taking a DNA test.
I confronted my parents—they broke down immediately. They weren’t ashamed. Just scared we’d judge them. We’ve met her.
She’s great. Feels like we’ve known her forever. Still, the silence for two decades stings. It changed how I look at everything they ever told me.
Turns out, my parents had a child before they were married. They gave her up for adoption and never mentioned it. She found me after taking a DNA test.
I confronted my parents—they broke down immediately. They weren’t ashamed. Just scared we’d judge them. We’ve met her.
She’s great. Feels like we’ve known her forever. Still, the silence for two decades stings. It changed how I look at everything they ever told me.
56points
#12
I found out a couple of years ago that when I was 3 years old, my father divorced my mother and picked me up from kindergarten. He told the caretakers that I wouldn’t be back at the kindergarten ever again and drove off with me. The caretakers called my mother, who, of course, knew nothing about this, and she realized that my father was taking me with him to another area in my country (3 hours away). My mother was at home with my little baby sister, my father's daughter, and he basically split us from each other.
The most messed up thing though: when my parents got in court, the judge accepted letting me stay with my father, and my sister staying with my mother, because I had already gotten used to being without my mother... officially splitting my sister and me apart. I had only been away from my sister and mother for 3 months.
Now, I love my father; he’s a good man, and he raised me good, but I can never forgive him for this act alone. My mother has never had another husband/boyfriend because of this, and I have only visited my mother and sister on holidays for my entire childhood.
The most messed up thing though: when my parents got in court, the judge accepted letting me stay with my father, and my sister staying with my mother, because I had already gotten used to being without my mother... officially splitting my sister and me apart. I had only been away from my sister and mother for 3 months.
Now, I love my father; he’s a good man, and he raised me good, but I can never forgive him for this act alone. My mother has never had another husband/boyfriend because of this, and I have only visited my mother and sister on holidays for my entire childhood.
54points
However, other people may have more malicious intentions in disclosing a family secret. Epstein says they may use it as leverage, then spill it out as a form of revenge later on.
“A family member may threaten to expose a family member's substance use issues if that family member fails to seek out treatment, for example,” she noted.
#13
My dad used to send me birthday cards every year when I was a young girl (my mother left my dad while pregnant with me for good reason), even though I never got to meet him when I was young I was glad to still receive a card from him with a few bucks acknowledging I was alive and that he did one day want to see me.
Around 14-15 I learned that my mother had written every single one of those letters and my grandfather would mail it to ourselves to make it seem legit. I never ever actually received any letter from him.
53points
#14
I found out I was adopted when I was 32 years old. My mom's cousin is my real dad. Apparently they tried to take me back when I was 3 years old, but my mom refused. Now my birth parents are both doctors, live in a mansion, and had six more kids. I grew up in poverty.
49points
#15
When I was a kid, my mom always mopped the floors on Mondays. Only Mondays. The house would smell like lemon soap, and she’d hum these old, soft songs while she worked. I remember asking her once, “Why only Mondays?” She just smiled and said, “Mondays are for fresh starts.” Fast forward twenty years — I went back to our old house after she passed. While cleaning out her things, I opened a drawer I’d never seen open before. Inside was a stack of letters. All dated on Sundays. All from my dad. Thing is... I never knew my dad. He left before I was born. Turns out, he sent her a letter every single week. She’d read them on Sundays, cry quietly in the kitchen... and then mop the floors on Mondays. Like she was wiping the week clean. Wiping him clean.
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46points
According to Handler, it is natural to long for understanding and clarity about why we are the way we are, and the existence of family secrets can only erode the family's foundation. This is why Epstein says it is important to understand a person’s intentions behind sharing them.
“(Doing so) can build empathy within the family about the monumental task of navigating the line between maintaining privacy and keeping everybody safe and healthy,” she said.
#16
That my grandfather was not a struggling immigrant who toiled away in a dress factory upon arrival in America. He was in fact a high ranking member of a powerful crime family.
46points
#17
My mother passed away a few months after giving birth to me. Whenever I asked how she passed away, the answer was that she passed away in her sleep, and no one knew why. I just learnt a few years ago that she had Cancer and was pregnant with me. Giving birth to me severely weakened her and eventually led her to pass away. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself because, from what I've heard from everyone, she was a good woman.
43points
#18
My aunt didn't lose her teaching job due to budget cuts like she'd always claimed. Turns out she had never had a valid teaching license to begin with, regularly had affairs with the dads, and embezzled PTA money!
42points
#19
After 25 years of marriage my dad announced his divorce to my mom, then married her sister 2 months later. So my aunt is now my stepmom and my cousins are now my step sisters. I guess they’ve had a thing going since before my parents even started dating.
42points
#20
My grandma was raised in a catholic orphanage under the pretext that she lost both her parents and siblings during the Spanish Influenza. Turns out her and her dad survived, but her dad didn’t want to take care of her so he left her at an orphanage in Brooklyn and moved to Europe and started a new family.
41points