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We were interested to find out what parents can do to help their children look beyond compulsory education and learn on their own. Lenore, the president of Let Grow, pointed out to Bored Panda that school, as we know it, is actually a new development and goes against how learning was done for much of history.
“In the United States, for instance, school only became compulsory a little over 100 years ago. Previously—for hundreds of thousands of years of human history—kids learned simply by watching, copying, helping, and playing. In other words, they’d hang around the adults, see how they made things like baskets and arrowheads, they’d ask questions, noodle around, and try to copy what their elders were doing. They’d also help out as soon as they could—fetching things, tracking animals, whatever—and in between they’d be playing with a group of mixed-age kids. All these activities were fueled by curiosity,” she explained.
Back before school was made to be compulsory for everyone, the driving force behind kids learning from adults and other kids was becoming both competent and seen as important in your community. So a lot was at stake! “You were motivated to learn what the bigger kids in your group knew, too, because they were so cool. Your entire day consisted of observing and practicing the stuff you needed to know— skills and games. If you weren’t curious, you weren’t going to enjoy life, or succeed at it.”
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However, nowadays, kids can sometimes seem, well, less curious, less motivated, and less yearning for new knowledge. Not all of them, of course. But some might argue that there’s a trend of following along with whatever the school system tells you to do.
“One reason kids might seem less curious today is because most of their education, inside and outside of school, doesn’t require self-motivation, it requires compliance. The drive is extrinsic, not intrinsic. Kids fill out worksheets because they have to, not because these seem interesting, or have any immediate connection to the ‘real’ world,” Lenore told Bored Panda where the main issue lies. This trend, unfortunately, lies in adult-led (and thoroughly enjoyable) extracurricular activities, too.
“Learning soccer means doing the drills the coach assigns, as opposed to tagging along with the older kids and working hard to get good enough so that they’d start letting you play. The key to curiosity, then, is giving kids enough free, unstructured time for them to find something they love to do for its own sake—not for a grade, or coach.”
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According to Lenore, part of the equation is authority figures like parents and teachers introducing children to all the various things they might come to love: from art and music and language to sports and nature and animals. However, that’s not enough.
The other part of the equation, as Lenore puts it, is “to get out of the way and not turn a budding interest into yet another adult-led activity that kids passively go along with.” In other words, spark the interest and let them do their own thing. Don’t try to control them too much, unless you want to douse their curiosity. Be there for guidance if they need it, but go make yourself a cup of tea and relax with a good book (you need to develop your own interests, too!).
“Not every interest has to lead to formal instruction, or at least not until a child really wants it. There’s a big difference between running for a coach, and running for plain old fun. Curiosity and self-direction go hand in hand,” the expert in independence and resilience highlighted.
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That sounds amazing on paper, but what other practical things can parents do to foster this self-motivation, self-reliance, and independence? Well, Lenore suggested that one of the things that parents could do is designating an hour or two each day as ‘outdoor’ time without any electronic devices.
“Put some junk out there—old suitcases, blankets, buckets—whatever you’ve got. Of course, at first, the kids might be bored. Scratch that: They will be bored. They’ll want to come back in and grab the iPad. Resist the temptation to let them in or entertain them. Give them a stretch of time—and especially if you can send some other kids out there with them—and out of ‘There’s nothing to do’ something will catch their interest. And a curious kid is born,” she explained. To be completely honest, this sounds amazing for an adult to do as well. The weekend can’t come fast enough!
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Life can get in the way, however, and kids and adults alike can lose their spark even if they used to be extremely curious. Let Grow president Lenore went into detail about this as well.
“We don’t realize it, but curiosity is a very pleasurable emotion. That’s why people travel—to see how other people do things, to try new foods and new experiences. Doing something new or unfamiliar brings our senses back to life. It can be fascinating even to try to figure out a parking meter in another country. (Infuriating, too. But boy, is your mind working hard!) It’s daunting but ultimately it is exhilarating.”
She continued: “To give dulled-out kids the equivalent of a trip to a new country, send them to do something they haven’t done on their own before. Have them run an errand, visit a neighbor, get something from the woods or the store—something that puts them in a new environment where they have to figure out some stuff on their own.”
This way, kids can feel like they’re conquering a new task or tackling a fear all on their own which is bracing and helps them get out of the shell. Soon enough, they’ll be vibrant and full of curiosity.
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“To make this happen, I must recommend that schools consider doing The Let Grow Project (which is free and takes almost no class time). Kids get the homework assignment, ‘Go home and do something new, on your own, without your parents.’ With just this little push, parents let go and kids take off: riding bikes, exploring towns, running errands, playing, cooking, building,” Lenore said.
“Our at-home version is called The Let Grow Independence Kit—same idea, and same price: $0.00. When everything is done for you or taught to you, it is hard for curiosity to flourish. But you—a teacher or a parent—take a step back, no matter how old your kids are (I’m doing it right now and my son’s 22!), you can watch them come back to life.” The beauty of it is, going outside our comfort zones to get our curiosity back works for adults, too.
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