50 Moments That Made People Rethink Their Relationship

Every relationship has its own ups and downs. And sometimes constant complaining may create a negative atmosphere. However, not speaking up at all makes it difficult to connect on a deeper level with your partner. Imagine you keep shaking a bottle of fizzy soda. What happens when the pressure builds up? The bottle explodes.

Stephanie O'Leary, PsyD, practicing in Westchester, NY said, "Holding in feelings has a negative impact on mental and physical health. Short bursts of complaints are preferable so stress hormones don't build.”

It’s all about finding the right balance. Tina Gilbertson, a psychotherapist and the author of Constructive Wallowing, agrees. “Acknowledging feelings is healthy, it’s good for you physiologically and it’s good for your emotional health," she said.

Journaling is a good way to express what you are feeling. “If you're prone to holding things in and then having a rant, practice writing down what's bothering you at the end of the day, and if you see an issue show up two days in a row, know it's time to address it directly,” O'Leary said.

Having an empathetic approach with the person you're complaining about is important to make both of you understand how the other person's behavior impacts you. Unless you are fully aware of the situation, you won’t be able to grasp what’s going on.

Alicia Clark, PsyD, practicing in Washington, DC, says, "Facts invite your listener to think about them and agree or disagree, whereas feelings invite your listener to understand. The difference comes down to whether you discuss the facts about a situation or your feelings about it."

Clark further explains, "And while this may seem a minor difference, it sets up a big difference in what you will receive from your listener that can, in turn, have a big impact on how you end up feeling.”

Don’t argue with your partner the minute they tell you about something that bothers them. They just want to be heard at that moment. “When we are complaining, we are unhappy and want to feel better. We are looking for compassion and understanding, not debate and judgment. People want to know why something matters, and we are wired to respond with empathy when we hear people describe their feelings or why something matters to them."

Don’t argue with your partner the minute they tell you about something that bothers them. They just want to be heard at that moment. “When we are complaining, we are unhappy and want to feel better. We are looking for compassion and understanding, not debate and judgment. People want to know why something matters, and we are wired to respond with empathy when we hear people describe their feelings or why something matters to them."

A relationship is a two-way street where both partners need to put in equal effort. So, if there’s something bothering you, find a solution that works for you. Sometimes, ranting about it online will do the trick and other times, you can ask your partner to have a heart-to-heart talk.