#1
She was a single parent with sole custody of me. She was unmedicated. My childhood was hell.
The extended family knew and openly lied to me when I tried to get answers as a teen. Ended up living with random friends when she'd go off the deep end during my teenage years. Turned 18 and my aunt decided it was finally time for me to know the truth.
It explained everything and it made me genuinely hate my aunt. She knew the truth my entire life and still left a child in that situation.
#2
#3
Anon:
My Mom always talked about wishing that she had an older sibling for myself and my two siblings. At her funeral, this guy showed up and completely broke down at her casket. Thankfully, my dad was too distraught to notice anything. I saw my uncles look very uncomfortable.
After the funeral, I asked my Aunt and cousin who that man was. He was my Mom’s teenage boyfriend. He had gotten her pregnant. She was about 8 months pregnant and was getting water from a well and it brought on labour. The baby died during labour.
She was born to be a Mother and no one loved her children more. It oddly brought me comfort to imagine she was getting to be a Mom in heaven too.
Quite often, parents lie to protect their kids. Sometimes, these lies are harmless. For instance, telling them that the child’s broken tooth has miraculously turned into money because the tooth fairy visited them. Or saying that it was Santa Claus who brought the gifts because the child had been good during the year.
But there is also a thin boundary between being protective and being deceitful, especially with regard to information that may impact a person’s future. For example, there can be repercussions when a ‘health-related’ secret gets out of hand. If there is a history of diabetes, heart disease, or any form of mental illness in the family, it is very important for the children to understand this as they grow up.
#4
#5
I didn't know about this until she died but it makes perfect sense why my dad is such a piece of s**t.
Edit- I had a few people wonder why I called him a huge PoS. I called them that because that's what he was to us. He was mean. He was ruthless. He didn't m****t me or my siblings but he physically and verbally f****d us up. He would create a prison environment at home and he loved it. Once I got into my early 20s he started trying to assert his dominance over me, he tried to fight me, he would blow up my phone 7 times a day (yes, 7 times a day) to see where I was and what I was doing. As a kid he would want to fight and he would constantly trash family and tell me how much of a failure I was. He created major insecurities that I still carry this day, he created a sense of worthlessness that I still carry, I feel like I'm worthless to peoeple so why date? Why marry?
He did all of this instead of identifying the problem and working on it. That's exactly what I did. You can be a product of your environment but its up to you to carry that environment.
#6
Familiarizing yourself with your family’s medical history is necessary for you to make choices regarding your well-being. To some extent, you could also pursue the relevant health care and exercise due care for your health; you might be able to seek appropriate medical advice and be vigilant about your health.
Sometimes, moms and dads are not truthful because they want their children to worry. They might think that revealing a family history of illness will make you feel stressed or anxious. Or they may be embarrassed about certain family matters, for example, if a cousin was addicted to d***s, an uncle was gambling, or there was a bad marriage.
#7
#8
The thing that makes me the angriest about the whole situation is her not even coming clean after my daughter's cancer diagnosis. At 22 months she was diagnosed with retinoblastoma. Had her left eye removed. We went to genetic counseling after this because it could be a hereditary cancer. Which would mean it would happen in the other eye. For 2 months I waited to find out if it had spread to her brain.
This woman acted like this was the most difficult time in HER life but still couldn’t be honest with me. I had no idea this was even a possibility until the week before she k**led hirself. That’s when she said “He’s not really your dad”. Refused to explain herself. Refused to tell me who my dad was. Then shot herself in the head leaving me to clean up her life mess. I could have had 13 years with him had she told me then.
#9
You know. To make sense of what the f**k.
This feels like a dangerous question to ask, lol.
However, withholding such information can sometimes do more harm than good. For instance, if a parent has a serious illness and the child doesn’t know about it, they might not take preventive measures. And if they experience symptoms, they might not take it seriously. Similarly, the child may be unprepared to handle mental health issues if they don’t know that their parents have gone through similar challenges.
It’s essential that parents are transparent with children, especially as they reach adulthood. This type of communication builds trust and also helps the children make informed choices about their lives.
#10
#11
#12
There's a good chance heart disease runs in our family so knowing this is definitely very important.
Edit: just because of all the medical advice being given in the comments, yes I’m regularly checked; I’ve had higher cholesterol levels than the requirement for my age since I was 13, a major contributor to heart attacks, so I watch what I eat to keep that at bay.
Research shows that family health history is a significant risk factor for many chronic conditions. The CDC notes that having a family history of certain diseases can increase a person’s risk of developing that disease, sometimes by two or more times compared to someone without such a history. Knowing this information can be life-saving, as it allows for early detection and intervention.
#13
#14
I thought I had bipolar disorder because of how my mood swings are. Turns out I could have avoided nearly 2 decades of hell if my parents just told me the truth. Even if I didn't seek treatment for it, KNOWING what was wrong would have made such a huge difference when I was a kid. Hell, just a simple dose of caffeine is all it takes for me to be functional.
To know it was that simple enrages me and I still have yet to forgive my parents for it. They knew and they let me suffer for their own vanity and fantasy world where "everything is fine and normal". Life is fine now but I went though so much unnecessary hell for more than half of it.
#15
In addition to being honest about family health issues, it’s equally important to have open conversations about finances with your children. Discussing money matters not only prepares them for the future but also imparts valuable lessons about managing finances responsibly.
#16
Then I got prostate cancer, and they were like, hey, what are the odds?
anon:
Same thing happened to me but with melanoma. And both my parents are in the healthcare field! 😡
IDK if it would’ve made a difference or not but I’ve also wondered if I would’ve gone to tanning beds back in the early 2000s when it was all the rage if I had known my grandmother had melanoma.
#17
#18
At the age of 12, we’d been the typical mum, dad and 2 kids family. By the time I was 15 my parents had divorced and remarried and I now had a sister, 2 half sisters, 2 half brothers and a step sister.
When parents share the complexities of cash management, whether it is saving for emergencies, expense management, budgeting, or even retirement, they hand their children the tools they will need to survive in the ever-turbulent world. The fundamentals of how money works, the essence of saving, and the potential future danger of debts are all lessons that can never be overstated.
#19
#20
Found out about these when I was helping my parents move and found the document when I was 19.
Turns out my parents already sold them all to pay off credit card debt.
Obviously not important as others, but that money could have really helped me out being I was struggling trying to pay college by myself.