Our pets are always there for us and around us, so if dogs could talk, they most certainly would have something interesting to share with us. After all, they sit there silently, listening to us talk, gathering information. We’ve had a glimpse of just how much they are around us in dog movies. However, these days animal communication involves us, the owners, asking them a question and then answering it ourselves. If dogs could do the second part themselves, everything would change overnight. With talking animals, we could have a full-fledged conversation about important topics.
One of the topics that would surely come up with our talking dogs would be fear. They seem to fear everything moving in the world. A leaf falls from a tree onto a window — barking. A horse rides past the house, and your dog sees it. What follows that sight is pretty clear — more barking. If they could talk, we could explain that a leaf is not an intruder and that the local horse will not eat them on sight. Simple things like these could easily (let’s hope so, at least) be explained to them if they could talk. On the other hand, since they hear us gossiping with friends and enemies, dogs might also act as double agents. A talking dog would have a lot to share with the world. Thus, the next time you talk about juicy gossip with your neighbor, be careful. When they gain the ability to converse with people (it’s only a matter of time), they might betray you. Be warned!
Ever wonder — “If my dog could talk, what would he say?” If you have, so did the user Mantistobogganohyh. Interested in what other people think, he asked an interesting question on the popular AskReddit group — “Your dog has heard all of your conversations, arguments, and deepest secrets. It suddenly learns to talk. What would you do?” In the list below, we compiled the best answers we found. If you agree with the answer, upvote it. On the other hand, if you have your own opinion on what your four-legged friend would say, share it in the comments below.
#1

"Let’s be honest... it’s our cats that we really need to worry about."
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19points
#2
"Hey, can we go for a walk?"
"No."
"How about some treats?"
"Later."
"Cool, but about that walk?"
"Not right now."
"I heard someone mention treats earlier? Is it dinner time yet? Can we go for a walk?"
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17points
#3
"Honestly I'd just want to know what happened to her before I got her from a rescue, what made her so scared."
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15points
#4
"We could sit down and have a discussion about how claw trimming is NOT the most terrifying thing in the world, I promise."
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15points
#5
"Why do I feel like this would become Donkey out of Shrek's scenario?"
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15points
#7
"He'd ask me why I always wanna shower alone. Or go to the bathroom alone... Or why I leave him alone while he's using his bathroom."
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13points
#8
"My doggo can talk? I don't have any worries. I just finally have a loyal friend I can communicate with."
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12points
#9

"Discredit the witness:
'Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury! You can't trust this dog! He'll say anything for a treat. He has no education and doesn't even know the dogs on TV aren't actually in his house.'"
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12points
#10
"I would just bribe him with dog treats and ask 'Who’s a good boy?'
But again, his answer would probably be 'Not you Dave. Not you.'"
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12points
#12
"Apologise for calling him a potato all the time.
Maybe encourage him to actually run on his walks too, so he looks less like a potato."
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10points
#13

"My dog would 100% roast me for hours on end. Send me back to the therapist why don't ya."
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10points
#15
"Ask him why the f*ck he’s been quiet all these years when I’ve CLEARLY been asking for his opinion."
TannedCroissant replied:
"Oh, you want my opinion now huh? Maybe you should have asked my opinion before you had my balls chopped off!"
"Oh, you want my opinion now huh? Maybe you should have asked my opinion before you had my balls chopped off!"
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9points
#16
"One of my dogs is loyal and keeps my secrets. The other would definitely require negotiations and bribes."
Tabnam replied:
"Your other dog is a cat."
"Your other dog is a cat."
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9points
#17
"Apologise for baby talking to him... In baby talk."
User replied:
"I’m sowwy fow spweaking to you like a wittle beebee you good pupper."
"I’m sowwy fow spweaking to you like a wittle beebee you good pupper."
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9points
#18
"Get that talking dog on the internet ASAP. Screw my secrets, I need that talking dog money."
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9points
#19

"I would ask why at exactly 7 o'clock every night, he decides it's time to wrestle."
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9points
#20
"Why do you have to take 30 minutes looking for the perfect spot to poop when you know I'm in a hurry? What is it you look for?"
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9points



