I Spent 9 Months Turning My Own Depression Into A Story For Children.

I have struggled with depression for years and I know a lot of you will have too. It's a horrible thing, it turns you inside out and makes you feel like you're not good enough to get better.

One day I was walking to work and an idea came into my head for how I could use my experience to try and help others. I've always loved writing and drawing and so the plan started to form.

I could write a book for children that helps them to recognise and understand the symptoms of depression when they start. I could write something that made it easier to know when something is going wrong, and to know how to ask for help and talk about their feelings before they get worse. I was so excited.

Then, I lost my job.

There's something gut-wrenchingly awful about losing your job, it's like having all of your value and security ripped out from under you and leaves you standing there questioning your place in the world.

For me, it came about as the result of a silly innocuous mistake on my part which was bad enough that I had to resign, but not so bad that most people at work weren't sad to see me go. It left a horrible shameful taste in my mouth at having messed up in front of so many people and I spent a long time questioning my value.

All of a sudden I wasn't contributing to my home life or to society. I went from being a busy, social creature with a good job and by all accounts a fair amount of success to someone unemployed and wandering around a mostly empty Tesco at 9am wondering what on earth to do now.

So I decided it was now or never and slowly, but surely, I started working on my book. The first drafts were rubbish and the first few illustrations took days or even weeks per page. I still remember finishing the first double page spread (which took three full days to illustrate) looking at it and realising it was incredibly boring.

It's fair to say the entire process was a struggle. Not just with learning how to write and draw better, how to make a website, how to create an ad, how to create a better ad or how to set up a business. I struggled the entire time with my own mental health. I would often have dark days where, despite everything I was achieving, the baby-steps of growth I was making, I would sit and cry and feel like there was no possible way through it all.

Now, finally, 9 months later, the book is done. Turns out that was the easy bit! Marketing is a special kind of complex hell that seems to trigger all your worst fears at once.

I have launched my little creative baby into the world of Kickstarter at what is very possibly the worst time in recent history. Coronavirus has hit and my little book does not stand up against the fear and panic that dominates the headlines. This is where I need your help.

I'm going to be super honest about this - please, I need your backing. I need anyone who has read this story and related, anyone who has questioned their own self worth or anyone who has children who might be doing the same to go and back my project. Even if it's just a few quid to say 'hey, I don't have kids but I see you and I like what you're doing', or a few hundred quid to buy a classroom kit for a school so they can teach children about this illness early on and give them tools to tackle it. Whatever you can do will be a huge boost and I will be eternally grateful.

I created this story to make depression easier to handle for future generations and now I am just fighting as hard as I can to get it out there. I hope you will agree that this is a book that deserves to exist.

More info: kck.st