Long time reader, first time writer, here. Hope you like it! I moved my family here a bit over 18 months ago. In our epic quest to “blend” with local Parisian culture, we made (and witnessed) almost every mistake in the book. Of course, if you are having fun and not hurting anyone, shoot your shot and do Paris any d*mn way you feel like it….the French don’t judge nearly as much as ‘mercan’s think they do…and definitely not as much as other tourists. That said, if you want to experience Paris “as a Parisian” or at least fake it enough to pass until you must speak English to use the restroom, here are a few do’s and don’ts that are dead ringers for American (and other non-French) tourists. Bonus points: this post is also my best advice for what-not-to-wear when strolling the Trocadero or Monmarte.
1. Parisian women do not (and I repeat DO NOT) dress like Emily in Paris. You need not buy that tea-length tulle strapless evening gown with combat boots to hit the Galleries Lafayette. The most amazing thing about how French women dress is how beautifully they add just the right tuck, accessory or flourish to give an outfit flare. It could be a scarf tied around the waist, a beautiful belt, or just the right handbag to perfectly fitting clothes to look get that je ne sais pas sort of appeal….so….
2. Pack simple clothes, but great accessories. Black sweater (check) those amazing pants (also black, check), silk scarf (check), jackets (see below, check) and you’re all set. You will see a lot of black, navy, neutral clothes….but spectacular ways they fit. A Claudette button-down collar under a cashmere sweater with a perfect blazer on top???
3. Simple, but not loungewear. Well, not unless you are wearing an ironic matching sweatsuit that is again, a perfect fit. French women simply do not wear sweatpants out, nor yoga pants, unless they are going to a parc to work out. So, we all love our lulus, but unless you are hitting the hotel gym, no need to waste precious space in your bag for comfy-time. When my kids wear sweats to school, they literally call it “ugly American day.”
4. For the love of all that is precious in this world, bring comfortable shoes….shoes you can walk KILOMETERS (LOL, I’m not that French yet, MILES) in. Tennis shoes/sneakers used to be a huge “no-no” in France, but you see great tennis shoes all over the place now. Me, and pickpockets, easily spot an American target because she’s wearing 4 inch heel boots trying to limp her way through the Tuileries (which are all gravel, by the way, so maybe no on the red-bottoms that day too). You WILL walk 3-10 Miles every day of your vacation, whether you intend to or not. Don’t be the poor girl stepping on the backs of her shoes because her heels now resemble shredded ham. Oh, and you will not see flip flops or crocs on a French lady unless you’re at a pool. So…just.don’t.
5. Turning a moment away from clothing…..Saying “Bonjour” is polite, not appropriating a culture or sounding like the t-shirt you just bought. Always say bonjour (even if you suck at pronouncing it) before launching into your question, request, order, etc…but you need only say it once per person you meet. Even if it’s the only French you know, it is a minimal nod to the fact that you are in their country and want to at least try to appreciate the rich French culture. Smile, pause, and say “Bonjour” like you mean it….especially to waitstaff. When they say it back, you can then proceed. Oh, but don’t say bonjour after dark….then you look like an idiot. By darkness, bonsoir is your jam.
6. For that matter, please stop saying the French are rude. It’s so very not true. In fact, the French have more rules and manners (especially hidden ones) than you can imagine. The difference, is that unlike many Americans who simply ignore those people who don’t their own social norms, many French people (especially those dealing with tourists all day long) will let you know when YOU are doing something they don’t like.
7. Eat with two utensils… Back to blending…did you know that it is considered impolite to eat with one of your hands on your lap in France? Proper etiquette is to hold both knife and fork during the full meal…not to put down the knife to take a bite off the fork. This goes back to pre-revolutionary days when putting a hand under the table may have been for the purpose of poisoning another at the table. That said, eating with one utensil that I’ve not been able to drop! I add this just to show the subtlety of the etiquette in French. They really won’t be rude to you over this. They will be rude, however, to the gentlemen at the table next to me who is literally yelling “waffles” progressively louder to the serveuse who has explained to him three times that the restaurant has stopped serving breakfast. Little does he know, she went to NYU for 1 year and is fluent in English, but has decided to conveniently forget every word she knows round about the third “waffles” that he screamed.
8. Don’t eat tourist food in tourist places and then complain about it being expensive. I heard four young women the other day complaining that their “petite dejeuner” was $17 (using dollars instead of Euros=dead giveaway) that morning. We were in St. Germain De Pres, a very posh part of town. If you want to eat cheaply, go a few blocks off the main streets near tourist attractions. Otherwise, you pay a premium for the experience. If you really want to eat on the cheap, hit up the Boulangeries for a baguette or croissant and coffee. You might even still get to sit outside at those cute cafe tables.
9. On that note, don’t go to tourist places and complain loudly about crowds of tourists. The French way to manage when you have to be in the hot spots: either you can adopt the look of blank disdain the French have mastered when dealing with crowds (unaffected by being jostled or crowded), or you can get up and go to the attractions early. If anything is open before 10:00 a.m., I highly recommend going between 7:00 a.m. and 9:30 a.m. Want that Insta-worthy picture of you in front of the Eiffel? Hit it up at 6:45 a.m., you can be alone in the street taking the perfect pic at sunrise, with barely a person in sight. It’s not a stereotype about the Parisians starting the day later, it’s a fact. If your plan is to sleep in and hit the Louvre at noon? Get ready to jump in line while you see about 2000 selfies being taken around you.
10. Finally, lest this article wander around further, the best piece of advice I can give is to take it all in, not put it all out there. I contend, after dozens of visitors here, that the best way to enjoy Paris is to wander without a concrete destination through the beautiful streets, find a cafe with a vibe you like, and sit there taking in the beautiful people, sounds, smells and sights of the city. Drink that 6-euro wine, or 4 euro coffee and relax like the French do. Like, really sit there. Not resting in between rushed events or a packed itinerary…but relax with great wine and coffee. They don’t care if you are there for over an hour—and neither should you.
There you have it. Hoping there’s no word limit and that you liked it. Abiento and au revior!
The Arc when I thought it was “under construction” my first week in Paris (found out the hard way this was a very expensive art installation over the Arc)
