I Make Surreal And Dreamy Artworks That Explore Psychological Mindfalls (Part 2)

Hello, my name is Pulkit Kamal. Few months ago, I wrote my first post here and received some good response, although I've stopped writing poems or anything as a matter of fact, I still have been making art and videos on Photoshop under the name of @artofpolka.

For almost a year, I've been making surreal and dreamy artworks from the images that are available under CC0 license. I started doing it as a therapy for my melancholia and now, almost everyday, here's I've used my own poems from my novel that I had written few years ago.

These are some of my works that I've made wholeheartedly and with devotion, if you find time, please go through them. Unfortunately, I can only upload 40 images as Bored Panda wouldn't allow me to upload more so please visit my social channels as it would mean the world to me.

Sorry for the pathetic captions, I really don't have anything to say here. I guess the pictures speak for themselves.

Love from India. :)

More info: Instagram | Facebook

It never happened before; I was seemingly distraught of her absence, ‘An involuntary uneasiness that I know if not dealt with would blow me away to the farthest mile of nothingness and grief.’ There was a certain pain which rushed into me, “Honey, will you walk me home?” Her voice had magnificence for which any man would die for and a certain finery, infinite, would pull the lifeless from their solemn sleep, I had no reason to answer her, and never was I good with words, at first I tailed her. Looking down at her feet, I could see myself from the finiteness of my hollow and emptied psyche, ‘I think I looked like a kid who is in a terrible need of his first kiss, yet he won’t ask for it.’ As I walked on a waterlogged path, I thought of the imagination and time the creator must have spent on creating such an entity, which could leave you with such a brain numbing thought and an everlasting ache. Her name is April; I would be sinner if I’d even explain her to myself, even the small details of her lips were so eloquent as if they were carved in the gentleness of a thousand sleep. I met her in the park, for the typical, it was just a stare we exchanged, but I felt something which was unexplainable and depraved.

I lowered down my head and gave her a side note into her somnolent eyes; ‘I felt a sudden urge to consume her, as if, if I leave her, everything would end. I was walking in absentia, there was a soul entering and leaving in a motion unknown, my fingers were dancing onto each other’s plane; and a certain shiver was flowing and appearing in a hallucinating path down my spine in a strict narrowness of ever changing degrees.’

‘Never had it happen before, never did I feel such a wrecking desire inside of me. I couldn’t sleep; this sudden hollowness was prolonging its surreal labour of rinsing every other thought I could think of. It felt like I was walking on a thin rope with burning ends, in a delicate state of losing my only being left; If only I could insist on her presence and even if I try to summon up her of what I could remember, her moving silhouette was summarising my grounds and reasons of my continuation.’

‘I could see the absence of me in the devoid of her universe, if only I could captivate this feeling forever. That narrow mile seemed like a journey forever, the marrows of my bone were pumping their way, as if they were compounded by my debts of being alive. I felt my body being unable to perform, it was her face all over. Was it what they call Love, or a strange desire delivered burnt and waiting for its turn to be drowned?

I took the Joggers lane in an anticipation to arrive at that same timber bench which once gave her fleeting shelter. The people I saw walking past me, they all looked curtailed, and they were faceless. ‘This condensing thought had slaughtered me; my feet seemed chained by the undefined grain triggering their cheap tricks upon me.’ As I walked towards her, I was in the damnation of her surrounding aura.

‘I was greyed out; my mind had shifted its burden to this weakened heart which was on a verge of nailing its counted pumps left to breathe in this body of mine. I felt cursed and blessed in a morning where I could charm my way to appreciate its beauty in an everlasting scene. And as I started walking, the echoes of my steps were forming their gust, almost engulfing everything coming on its way.’

‘I was standing on the foregrounds of the echoes of her voice, felt like those burning comets were falling from the sky unswervingly pounding on my bare chest and forming new chords in this cosmic juncture I was in.’

‘No heavenly words on this planet could describe my feeling, I supported my heavy skull on my arms as I looked at her walk by, I couldn’t speak a word! I had gone berserk, I was tattooed in the blackest ink and there was no turning back. Her presence took me off of my death bed on which I was laid down when I had her first glimpse.’

I looked at the raindrops slowly drifting down on the clear sheet of glass like a smelted pearl marching on the new born petal of Ylang Ylang; it was a journey that took me back to my earlier state of trance, I couldn’t stop looking at the carnival of falling drizzle on the glass. It suddenly got chilly, felt like I was ravelled in an encumbering feeling of phantasmagoria, like a pleasant and new wave of blood had just entered in my body and leaving my stirred mind in a revelation of compositeness.

‘I am still living in it and looking out from the passage meant to be leading on for you. As far as my deplorable memory could recall, it recommends me that there is a man looking at his will to take and liberate everything which once had a meaning.

On these splits, on this verge of finding and losing this weightlessness had increased for once I believed in me, for once I lived as me.’

‘I stood under that cold bitter rain which gave me warmth by every drop it laded upon me. She rented me emotions in this heart, that wreckage which howls its way through the contained corridors of my dried veins dramatised its momentary absence, conspiring me and her to be understood and felt by those who we give birth to each moment we live and lie…’

With her eyebrows rose, sculpting those ageless wrinkles on her forehead she put herself in my heavy arms. She was breathing heavily and I smelt her sweet hypnotising scent, ‘I was fragmented into millions and millions, scattered and shattered and then stuffed in a bag with a satin white cover and then meticulously smashed on a glass shield till everything was torn apart. I felt her firm breasts pushing on my thick chest, that moment was narrated by the late god in a story written by the early devil. I brought my lips close to her earlobes; I looked like a slave freed in his last hours waiting for the light in the continuum of unconfined distress.’

I wandered and wandered alone to seek of what I couldn’t find, I was in a stuck in a state of my own misconceptions, thoughts and in a never ending fight with my own senses. I could fall and never think of coming back again. This loneliness has pitched so deep itself in me, I couldn’t think of what was right or what was wrong. I could stare at the coiled horizon with my cataract vision for miles till I fall into pieces and still be unable to think of anything else than her. I felt as religious as a summer breeze smashing the winds of our past scattering of whom I idolised and whom I detached from my life.

I then ranked in the garden of this unfounded null.

‘A feeling, no one has ever described to me. It almost felt like I was rupturing my own tendons upon which I hold my vision and hang my soul on. What am I going through? I wasn’t like this. She gets me in my elongated stupor of melancholia. I was falling short of words.’

Minutes were passing by but they didn’t turn into hours, the slow music from my laptop tried to fold my apathy into discussed flavours of my romanticism and lunacy, just like a blind shot of warmth on my cold skin, troubled I was dwindling and I couldn’t hold my back.

It was then a momentary silence we employed with us while we both stood feet apart from each other.
I had my head rolled up on my silence of my love while I breached into the worldly crowd of people talking in some obnoxious language my mind could not relate with. I was domesticated in the motionless blur of unconfined lights held loose from the filaments of my uninvited steps; ‘If I seek I may lose a bit of me tonight.’ Could she alienate me from my own knowing of what I call glory and love or has she me merely loved and saved me from my own self?

‘I was feeling decadent; there was guilt which grew in me as I stood under those amorphous drops of hot water which marched onto my sorry soul, those drops felt like sharpened needles grudgingly causing me pain, leaving me in a state of prolonged null.’

‘But I saw her in the stillness of assorted frame like motion, it felt like that moment had stopped for us. Her dark brown hair, slipping and going down inside her coat, resting and taking shelter within it. Her big gold earrings were piece of magnificence brought to life from the dead and as was her silver necklace which was resting in comforts of her collar bone.’

But I was not there, neither was I here. I was shrouded in a colourless decay, the more I tried to move, more I found myself in the void of darkest cube, trapped inside, no window, no light.’ I would never be able to tell her how I feel for her, even if I did, I think she would disappear by the end for I will wait when I really do appear. The wind blew the falling snow onto us; we were both lying naked under a mantle of our succulence and ever rushing thoughts. She held my hand and told me to take her inside; I just couldn’t move my sight away from her face. I wrapped her in the blanket like a newborn in a cocoon and held her in my arms. She closed her eyes as I started walking, maybe she was lost somewhere or maybe I was lost in her.

My heart suddenly stopped working and I fell into a deep bizarre state. I was fading out; my eye closed along with hers’, his growling voice was resonating inside my head. I could still feel his heart pumping inside my body, his blood rushing in flood and hurting the ends of my veins.

I went inside the room and laid her gently on the bed. I was deeply scared inside; my thoughts of attachments were protruding from a deep coma like state. My nails were scratching each other, bleeding in that cold night. I looked at her sleeping, I stood blank in sheer black space; a tear fell from my eye which alienated me into an ocean splashing its wildest waves onto me, it didn’t keep me afloat neither did it pull me down. I was slipping into deformed shapes of object around me as I turned my head away from her. I could fall deep and there will be no return.

But how in the world do I describe them what I was feeling inside… I was heading in middle of war, in a land so far, bleeding and scarred, under the dark shifting clouds. The blood which poured out of my wounds was again falling on me from the sky, what was happening to me? This rain was unreal to human sight. A gust formed and left, leaving my other side standing next to my ashes.His voice faded by the end of the gust and I could see the vivid stardust falling on my chest like comets with flaming ends. Nearly, I could feel everything but even the word ‘everything’ was not as vast to describe my feelings inside.

My foot was held loose from the ground. Her eyes were wide open, and without an invitation, I entered into them, I was being pulled like an arrow on a bow, comforting my own limitlessness in an absolute sheer calm.

‘I was jammed in the longest perpetuating second of my life, neither could she, nor could I move. We both were looking into each other’s eyes in incredulity; I was marooned in the evening of that thick blue night, felt as if my sins were being dug deep down to be rested on the flakes of treasured gold by her own hands, I had become the love, maybe the one I craved to have.’

I was bewildered in a storm of magnified drops of rain; I, then realised that I have lost all my joy in that benign battle against facing my own truth. I saw myself sitting under a tree; the sky was turning into a gingerly shade of melancholia.

‘I live surprised in the dismay of ill-fated occurrences which tenaciously shrouds my hope in a mantle of poisonous extravagance, I breathe yet I don’t feel alive, and when I feel alive, I don’t get to know why? I feel being on board of an old wooden ship with holes in its surface touching the inch think sea surface, it withers me, sinks my soul, but it doesn’t deliver me anywhere.’

Moments alone, then you and I, will meet again, maybe in some life!

My eyes, in another moment shut close and I was unable to open them, I felt coldness around me and heaviness around my shoulders, I screamed to the woods in dismay and heard her voice echoing within the lair of my ears, I smelt her scent, I felt the temperature of her hands, I felt the black deposit on her silver jewels, I felt everything but not me. The moonlight suddenly vanished and left me alone in the hands of gods, do I beg for mercy or do I beg for her?

Your eyes suddenly open wide, you take every dust of your breath out of your system; you’re
unconstrained, you’re released in a delirium, a priceless disorientation; there’s no good, no bad
and no feverish judgements, nothing comes close and nothing goes far, the only thing left in you
is my memories from your past. You may think that you’re alone, but isn’t that something you’ve
always wanted? You’re and you were alone, even when I was in your arms, even when I slept in the comforts of your open eyes and have you ever wondered why?”

My blank face couldn’t emit an emotion to exhibit what I was thinking; she brushed her munificent fingers over my hair and walked to the bedroom. And in a blunt impulse, I narrowed my vision into obscurity as I designed my first step towards her; I stood right in the corner of my bedroom lurking at her, simply just looking at her

She looked at me and said, “Honey, will you walk me home?” and by god, the look in her ochre eyes was a vision I could never forget, more like an amber burning in its own radii, her eyes verbalised every identified and possible emotion known to the mankind. I put the keys back in my coat pocket
and she slowly started walking ahead, the night had arrived upon our heads and the clouds cleared
their way to immortalise her beauty with the light of moon on her face. Her voice had magnificence
for which any man would die for and a certain finery, infinite, would pull the lifeless from their
solemn sleep, I had no reason to answer her, and never was I good with words, at first I tailed her,
looking down at her feet I could see myself from the finiteness of my hollow and emptied psyche.

As I walked on a waterlogged path, I thought of the imagination and time the creator must have
spent on creating such an entity, which could leave you with such a brain numbing thought and
an everlasting ache. Her beauty was unrestricted, it was as clear as the light refracting from a
diamond polished for a hundred years by a jubilant crafter, her entirety had become the first syllable of my breath. She walked like a seraph through the hellish gates into my rusted heart; she
made me feel like a poet born from the deaths of a million sages and oh, how I felt scared of my own eyes to not lay an evil on her.

And then I was on a verge of begging in front of them. This was a kind of joke which was played cruelly on me. My feet with time weakened like the bones inside of them had lost their purpose, the thoughts inside my mind
were running wild and cold. I saw the look in their eyes but I couldn’t understand why they were playing with me, for thousand times I made them realize, I shouted, I screamed.

I was becoming vulnerable, my thick thoughts evaporated in the sinful sky in a distasteful novelty, in front of my own blackest eyes. I was turning blue into the gates of damnation without even thinking of walking, like a charred wood deep
beneath the lot of burning pieces of wood, I was neither burning nor extinguishing; like the way life does to a deceased. This whole world seemed like an unreal episode of dramatic atrocity to me.

This is our place, was, maybe!

Though, I didn’t know what exactly love was or
what usual people unusually feel thru, but whatever it was, it felt like a war, when you are fighting
with no enemy but still fearing a defeat, screaming your lungs out at the providence of your own
unknown. I was deliberately withering down lose; moments later I was lost, knotted off, turning
away from this celestial reality, a place where I could see her, be with her, hold her and never let
go. A place of no-man.

My heart; my heart bounced like a pebble on the sheet of white painted river. Like a burning echo, her voice amalgamated my emotions in an un-dissolvable mixture left at the shore of a dried ocean, and I was left there to witness it. Every red nerves in her moist eyes were visible like a magnified
constellation, reflecting her pain as a first drop of poison mixed in the water of life. How and how I felt so unable, within my own eyes, like a cripple my steps ahead, I know will become a big debt for the rest of my life.

‘Her fainting smile was like an epitome of that enigmatic brief journey from death to birth and her
vision was like a refraction of a white light passing through many prisms. I gasped and staggered as I tried getting on my knees, I crawled towards her like a toddler chasing his toy, and I lumbered and fell again and dragged myself to the bed. And, after few steps, I found my face inches away from her fair and wounded feet. I grabbed both of her feet like a maniac with my bare hands and closed my watery eyes as I rested my forehead on them. She slowly started crying and tried pulling her feet back, but I didn’t let them go.

Then it was like a car crash! Every living entity or say part in my body stretched suspended from their roots,
it was like a jaw dropping flash in a written literal way