One thing that I have found to be essential in staying sober is maintaining a grateful attitude. While I was in active addiction, I wasn’t grateful for a single thing in my life. I thought that I didn’t have anything to be grateful for. I was a really miserable, depressed person who had no room in her heart for gratitude because my thoughts were consumed around getting drugs and alcohol in my body. I was untrustworthy, unreliable, and my friends had rightfully abandoned me.
Towards the end of my addiction, I had wasted all of my money on drugs and I didn't have a safe place to sleep at night. Now that I am sober, I have a roof over my head and I am responsible enough to go to work and budget my money in order to pay my bills while saving money. Each day I wake up grateful to have a roof over my head and a quiet, safe place to sleep at night.
I manage and live in a sober living home with other women who are navigating a life in recovery as well. Sober living homes are a revolving door due to the nature of addiction being a chronic, relapsing disease. Although it can be difficult to watch girls relapse, I believe that each individual was put in my life for a reason - whatever that reason may be. I get to welcome these women into my home with accepting arms and be available for them during hard times. Today I am convinced that my purpose on this earth is to help others by showing them exactly how I have been able to stay sober. I am nothing short of grateful to have this privilege today.
In addition to the women I live with in my home, I have a wonderful host of friends who have been there for me and supported me during my journey of recovery. They were there for me while my body was detoxing from drugs and distracted me while I was struggling with an agonizing obsession to get high. They have always been loving and supportive during hard times. On the other hand, they are the reason I have good times, too. We have fun and laugh together - without a drug or drink in our bodies. It’s not just any normal laughter either, it is those deep, belly laughs that make your back ache as you gasp for air. The only friends I had during my addiction were only there for me when I had something to provide them, such as money or drugs. My friendships in sobriety are one of the most beautiful blessings that I have today.
I now have a career where I get to advocate spreading awareness about the disease of addiction to different websites and people. My intentions are that somebody will read and relate to my story. I hope that they will see just how hopeless I once was, and be able to receive a message of hope that recovery is possible. This is the first time I have ever had a job that I truly enjoy going to each day. I no longer wake up wishing I didn't have to work. Instead I wake up excited to go to my job.
Having a grateful heart now comes easier than ever for me. I have the benefit of waking up to the sound of waves crashing on the ocean, the smell of fresh saltwater, and sight of a gorgeous sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean. I am able to be a daughter who's mother no longer has to live in fear that her daughter will overdose and never wake up. I get to be the aunt to my sweet nieces who never have to see their aunt falling asleep at Christmas dinner from taking way too many drugs. I have a tranquil life that is worth living today, and for that I will be perpetually grateful.
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