I am an upper extremity amputee and I take nature photographs and transfer them to wood to create beautiful pieces of art.It was 2004, I was 24, married and in college, studying to be a nurse anesthetist. My husband had cancer and he knew he was getting towards the end, so he asked me to drive him from Michigan where we lived, to South Carolina where his parents lived to see them one last time.
We got as far as north Carolina before his pain was too much for him to bear, and I had to stop at the first hospital I could find. It took them quite a few hours, but they finally got him pain free enough to fall asleep. I decided to take that moment to go for a walk to clear my mind. Sometimes, the simplest of decisions can change your life in ways you could never predict.
I walked in a field near the hospital that had wildflowers in it, there was a divot in the grass that I didn't see because the grass had been mowed even. I tripped and fell, and when I stood up to brush off my hands, there was a nail sticking out of my wrist.
I took a breath and pulled it out, there was barely a drop of blood so I decided to wash it off and just continue on with my day, after all I had bigger things to worry about.
Within 1/2 hour a small black spot appeared on my hand and the pain began. It was the most excruciatingly painful experience of my life. My hand had started to die, while attached to my body.
I went to the emergency room where I was given copious amounts of narcotics to try and stop the pain. I was transferred to a hospital that was about 30 minutes away where there were specialists that could help me, and I was immediately put into a medical coma for fear that the pain alone would give me a heart attack, and I would die.
I do not have many memories of the following weeks, but I have many things that I know because they were told to me afterwards. The nail had nicked the artery in my wrist, allowing bacteria to go directly into my bloodstream, it was MRSA, a superbug and the doctors have me a 0% chance of survival. They guaranteed my family that I was going to die.
I was in a coma for 16 days and I had 12 surgeries over the course of 10 days totaling over 60 hours in the operating room. Multiple operations to save my life and as much of my limb as humanly possible. In the end my entire right hand and 3" of my arm was amputated but I survived.
My husband passed away during my second surgery and I was never able to say goodbye.
That was only the very beginning of my pain, and it was something that I would never have been able to prepare for.
I have both phantom limb syndrome and phantom pain, what this means is that I can both feel my hand as if it still exists, and feel excruciating pain in that hand as if it were real.
The pain goes from feeling like needles are being stabbed into my hand, to feeling like a torch is being pressed against my Palm. I can feel like my bones are being crushed or like spikes are being shoved underneath my fingernails. I feel like knives are being slowly pushed through my hand, but the worst of them all is the itch. If you have ever been driving down the street and had your
foot start itching, but been completely helpless to scratch it, you have a slight inkling to what I am talking about. Unlike driving however, I can not pull over to scratch it, because the part that itches simply does not exist.
The pain was constant and debilitating, I went through years of testing different things from medications including the strongest opiates, to getting injections of lidocaine and cortisone with a 6" long needle through my neck into my nerves for a procedure known as a ganglion block. None of these things worked for more than a few hours, most didn't work at all. I was left with all of the pain, but drugged in a zombie like state where I could barely function.
I went on like this for years, barely able to perform the simplest of daily tasks, or even think until I was told to try medical Marijuana.
The first time I smoked Marijuana for my pain, was the first time that I was without the pain that had ruled my life for so many years before.
Today, I have an amazing boyfriend, and beautiful children. I am a nature photographer, and I create art, as well as have my own Etsy shop named Oakie Dokie crafts.
We got as far as north Carolina before his pain was too much for him to bear, and I had to stop at the first hospital I could find. It took them quite a few hours, but they finally got him pain free enough to fall asleep. I decided to take that moment to go for a walk to clear my mind. Sometimes, the simplest of decisions can change your life in ways you could never predict.
I walked in a field near the hospital that had wildflowers in it, there was a divot in the grass that I didn't see because the grass had been mowed even. I tripped and fell, and when I stood up to brush off my hands, there was a nail sticking out of my wrist.
I took a breath and pulled it out, there was barely a drop of blood so I decided to wash it off and just continue on with my day, after all I had bigger things to worry about.
Within 1/2 hour a small black spot appeared on my hand and the pain began. It was the most excruciatingly painful experience of my life. My hand had started to die, while attached to my body.
I went to the emergency room where I was given copious amounts of narcotics to try and stop the pain. I was transferred to a hospital that was about 30 minutes away where there were specialists that could help me, and I was immediately put into a medical coma for fear that the pain alone would give me a heart attack, and I would die.
I do not have many memories of the following weeks, but I have many things that I know because they were told to me afterwards. The nail had nicked the artery in my wrist, allowing bacteria to go directly into my bloodstream, it was MRSA, a superbug and the doctors have me a 0% chance of survival. They guaranteed my family that I was going to die.
I was in a coma for 16 days and I had 12 surgeries over the course of 10 days totaling over 60 hours in the operating room. Multiple operations to save my life and as much of my limb as humanly possible. In the end my entire right hand and 3" of my arm was amputated but I survived.
My husband passed away during my second surgery and I was never able to say goodbye.
That was only the very beginning of my pain, and it was something that I would never have been able to prepare for.
I have both phantom limb syndrome and phantom pain, what this means is that I can both feel my hand as if it still exists, and feel excruciating pain in that hand as if it were real.
The pain goes from feeling like needles are being stabbed into my hand, to feeling like a torch is being pressed against my Palm. I can feel like my bones are being crushed or like spikes are being shoved underneath my fingernails. I feel like knives are being slowly pushed through my hand, but the worst of them all is the itch. If you have ever been driving down the street and had your
foot start itching, but been completely helpless to scratch it, you have a slight inkling to what I am talking about. Unlike driving however, I can not pull over to scratch it, because the part that itches simply does not exist.
The pain was constant and debilitating, I went through years of testing different things from medications including the strongest opiates, to getting injections of lidocaine and cortisone with a 6" long needle through my neck into my nerves for a procedure known as a ganglion block. None of these things worked for more than a few hours, most didn't work at all. I was left with all of the pain, but drugged in a zombie like state where I could barely function.
I went on like this for years, barely able to perform the simplest of daily tasks, or even think until I was told to try medical Marijuana.
The first time I smoked Marijuana for my pain, was the first time that I was without the pain that had ruled my life for so many years before.
Today, I have an amazing boyfriend, and beautiful children. I am a nature photographer, and I create art, as well as have my own Etsy shop named Oakie Dokie crafts.
More info: oakiedokiecrafts.com
This is me
I am an amputee and a medical marijuana patient. It is because of medical marijuana that I can function on a daily basis and take my pictures. I take amazing nature photography and transfer it to beautiful pieces of wood to create one of a kind art.
Ohai There!
Liken Lichens
Mushroom Mountain
Raindrops and Wildflowers
On Fog Tree Hill
Nature Is Love
Through The Woods
Dragonfly
