I am pretty sure that most of us like to get some things or upgrades for free, whether it's a complimentary drink, meal, upgrade to first class on a flight or hotel room. Maybe it doesn’t happen often or almost never at all, but still - it’s great. However, is it the same nice feeling when you learn that behind that amazing upgrade is your partner’s ex?
Well, this story is about a very similar situation - one Reddit user shared that she and her husband decided to have a babymoon at a resort spa where, surprisingly, they got a free upgrade. However, as it later turned out, it was from her husband’s ex-girlfriend, which made the woman uncomfortable.
Getting a free upgrade is amazing; however, it may be nicer if it doesn’t come from your partner's ex-partner
Image credits: Tran Long (not the actual photo)
Woman shares that she and her husband will be having their baby in 3 months and decided to take a babymoon to a resort spa
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
She noted that they had booked a basic room, but during check-in, the attendant informed them that they had been upgraded to the presidential suite free of charge
Image credits: Luis Zambrano(not the actual photo)
The next day, they asked another worker, who assured them that everything was correct, although such upgrades need to be approved by the senior general manager
Apparently, the manager is her husband’s ex-girlfriend, which made the woman uncomfortable after seeing her husband distracted for the rest of the day
Image credits: u/Purple_Lilies
Well, this led to the woman insisting that they change back to their regular room, as their babymoon had become not about them and their baby, but about his ex
One Reddit user shared her story online seeking to hear community members’ perspectives on whether she was in fact wrong for insisting to change back to a regular room. She found out that they got the upgrade because of the husband’s ex-girlfriend, which made her feel that he would be thinking about her for the rest of the trip.
The original poster (OP) starts her story by explaining that she and her husband are having their first baby in 3 months and decided to have a babymoon at a resort spa. She noted that they had booked a regular room, but before checking in, they were informed that they had just been upgraded free of charge to the presidential suite for a special occasion.
The following day, the couple decided to double-check about their room situation. The employee assured them that everything was correct, although it almost never happens and it must be approved by the senior general manager. Well, to their surprise, the general manager was OP’s husband's ex-girlfriend, with whom he hadn’t spoken for over 9 years.
OP shared that her husband was visibly thrown at her name and was distracted the rest of the day, which made her uncomfortable. Despite his apology the following day, the woman insisted they switch back to their original room as it was supposed to be about them and their baby and not about his ex-girlfriend.
The community members weren't on the woman’s side in this situation and called her a jerk. “YTA - his ex did an incredibly kind thing and was obviously trying to keep it a secret so that there was no awkwardness. Your insecurities ruined what should have been a wonderful experience,” one user wrote. “YTA. You're insecure. It was a nice gesture and you acted like a spoiled child,” another added.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Okay, let’s talk a little bit about exes. I think it’s safe to say that there are quite a few people who are worried about their partner’s ex, they keep comparing themselves to them, wondering if they still have feelings for them or simply feeling jealous. Well, all of this has a term - it’s called retroactive jealousy.
PsychCentral explains that feeling intimidated by your partner's previous relationships or experiences is known as retroactive jealousy. It is often unjustified, and although it isn't formally diagnosed as a mental illness, it can occasionally be a symptom of one. And it could appear if you think your partner still cherishes or values anything from their past and it makes them less likely to love you.
It’s understandable that being interested in your partner’s dating history may be completely normal - so when does it actually become retroactive jealousy? Well, Dr. Romanoff described a few characteristics of retroactive jealousy - the first thing may be that you constantly think about your partner’s past and feel envious of their previous partners.
Also, it can lead to bad relationship habits like checking in on your partner, not trusting them fully, or browsing through their phone. Another characteristic may be making comparisons - the expert notes that you may find yourself stalking their social media and comparing your life and relationship to theirs. And finally - imagining missing details.
So, folks, while a little jealousy towards your partner’s ex may do no harm, there is a thin line when it could actually impact your relationship, and not for the better. But speaking about the story - what are your thoughts on this? Did the woman overreact? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors stood on the man's ex's side, saying she made a nice gesture
