A few months ago, we told a story about how a bride, right before the wedding, found her future mother-in-law breastfeeding the groom and yes, the plot itself looked so weird and bizarre that it's most likely an urban legend. But this does not mean at all that mothers of adult sons do not express their love for them in completely unpredictable forms.
What can I say - I myself have been married for almost ten years, and in the past decade, my own mom has sometimes done things that made my wife and I absolutely facepalm. And then there were these remarks: "What's wrong?", "I didn't mean anything bad!" Okay, here's another story from the user u/ThrowawayWedQ123, and I nearly bet it's real this time.
The author of the post tied the knot with her spouse several months ago and they're now building up their own happy family
Image credits: Taisuke usui (not the actual photo)
However, as the wife herself says, she's not on very good terms with her mother-in-law, but does her best to get along
Image credits: ThrowawayWedQ123
Recently the MIL surprised the couple as she gifted her son a platinum wedding band
Image credits: Alexander Kolomin (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowawayWedQ123
At the same time the spouses chose their rings themselves, a platinum band for the wife and a ceramic one for the husband
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowawayWedQ123
The author was upset but her husband just grabbed the gift and went to his mom's place for a talk
Image credits: Yasemin Durmus (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowawayWedQ123
The ring was ultimately returned, yet the mom told him she just wanted to 'restore the justice' by 'matching the rings'
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she and her husband have been married for several months, and the woman is also doing her best to build a relationship with healthy boundaries with her mother-in-law. However, as you can probably guess, this does not always work. So this time the author's husband's mom decided to "show her love" to her son again...
One day, the OP's husband received a gift from his mother in the form of a platinum wedding band that she bought herself. No, you've read everything correctly - the OP and her husband have been wed for three months and, of course, they chose their own rings for the ceremony themselves. The author of the post had a platinum ring, because due to allergies she can only wear this metal, and her husband chose a ceramic one - it’s just that at his work, one can’t wear metal at all.
You could ask - what was the mother's argument, anyway? It's pretty simple - she, firstly, wanted to "restore justice" for her son, because platinum is way more expensive than ceramic, and, secondly, "it's so beautiful to have matching wedding rings!" At the same time, of course, no one asked the spouses' opinion. In general, as in Middle-earth, the ring has again become a stumbling block for everything and everyone...
However, we've got to hand it to the original poster's husband - he did not argue at all, claiming that this was a gift from his beloved mom and whatnot, but simply took the ring and left. Then the man had a difficult conversation with mother, during which he also found out that she had given the same gift to his brother - but with one exception. Damn it, with a very important exception - she gave her other son two rings, for him and his fiancee! And now let's try to guess which of the two daughters-in-law the woman likes more.
Oh yeah, another important nuance - a few weeks earlier, in a conversation, mom had asked what ring size the OP's husband wore, and he directly asked if she was going to give him a backup ring - and if so, that she had better not. Then the woman said no, no way, and she was "just wondering." Of course, now this ring has been thrown into the fire of Mount Doom... sorry, simply has been returned, and the couple lives on in peace. Although an unpleasant 'aftertaste' in the relationship between the OP and her mother-in-law, as they say, remains...
Image credits: Arthur Ogleznev (not the actual photo)
"Unfortunately, such a story is almost a classic these days. No, not in the sense that mothers hand out platinum rings to their sons right and left, but a similar 'manifestation of motherly love'," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment on this case. "Why am I so ironic? Because many mothers, alas, over the years completely ignore the obvious fact that their sons, firstly, have matured, and secondly, they are building relationships with other women. And this is also difficult for them to accept. This requires a certain maturity in decision-making, in the perception of the world, and such maturity is just not enough."
"Yes, in the situation described, both spouses acted as appropriately as possible, but at the same time they firmly showed that it is unacceptable to act in this way in the future. In principle, this is the building of healthy boundaries, as it is. And not all men in such situations actually side with their wives, thereby undermining the foundations of their own family. In any case, I hope that, first of all, this story will serve as a valuable lesson for this mom and she will try to finally realize that her little boy is already an adult man who has his own family. To realize and to accept it, for mutual benefit," Irina states.
Most people in the comments are also very glad for the spouses, stating that they both did the right thing. Moreover, one of the commenters cites a similar story, where the mother-in-law also wanted to give wedding rings, but, firstly, she did it before the wedding, secondly, she gave money, not rings, so that the newlyweds chose everything themselves, and thirdly, gave enough money to buy a pair of rings, not just one.
The course of action chosen by the original poster's mother-in-law causes only rejection by almost all folks in the comments, and they praise the couple for their impeccably polite behavior and the correctly chosen vector of actions. "You both spoke openly and respectfully, figured out a way to deal with it and did it. Keep going both of you!" one of the commenters wrote. We, in turn, are almost sure that you also have something to tell on this topic, so please feel free to tell your own tales, both funny and sad, in the comments below.
Commenters unanimously praise the couple for acting appropriately and politely, and the husband for totally siding with his wife as well
