Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it... Especially when it comes to wanting an open relationship. Plenty of people have learned the hard way that the grass is not always greener on the other side, and that anything you can do they can possibly do better.
A woman has told how her husband of 8 years "passively-pushed" for ages to open their marriage. Now that she's finally agreed, he's losing the plot. She says he's become "insane and insecure" and has turned into a wreck. The kicker is that the wife isn't even seeing anyone else - yet. Things are so bad that she now wants a divorce.
He drove her insane with his request for an open marriage
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Now that's she's finally agreed, he's the one losing his mind because he can't handle the thought of her with anyone else
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She later revealed that she'd made a decision about her marriage
Image credits: anonymous
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
An open marriage can only work with these things present, according to experts
Opening up your relationship or marriage is a bit like playing Russian Roulette. You might survive and thrive, or it could backfire horribly.
One study in the UK found that a third of heterosexual men were open to having more than one spouse or long-term partner, along with 11% of women. But the researchers noted that being “open to” non-monogamy is not the same thing as actively practicing it.
A separate study revealed that one in five people surveyed in America and Canada have first-hand experience with non-monogamy.
Some experts believe that in order for an open marriage to work, a few things need to happen. The first is that the couple is already in a stable and secure relationship.
“Couples who opt for open marriage find themselves enjoying the stability, security, and reassurance of marriage, yet still seeking the excitement, passion, freedom, and thrill an affair brings with it,” explains Your Tango. “To develop and nurture safety and trust in an open marriage, each partner must consider the needs, feelings, and preferences of their spouse on an ongoing basis.”
The second factor is that there is mutual consent and ongoing honest communication. An open relationship is unlikely to work if one partner is agreeing to it just to please the other.
“It is important to set clear rules for both partners, as well as to maintain honest communication through which you can keep in touch regarding each other's emotional stability and comfort,” cautions the site.
You'll also need to consider whether you'll be able to manage your time and resources should you open up your relationship. Will you both still have time for each other? Work? Kids? Everything else that life requires of you?
"As you spend more physical and emotional time with another person, you naturally establish a connection, which can decrease the level of intimacy in the marriage," warns Your Tango. "Be sure you can find a healthy balance between your relationships and don't begin to neglect your marriage."
Are you both prepared for the inevitable jealousy that comes with an open marriage? Previous studies indicate that more than 80% of couples in open marriages experience jealousy over secondary relationships.
“No matter how understanding your partner might be, the jealousy that exists in open relationships challenges most monogamous marriages as well, causing feelings of insecurity, paranoia, and anxiety,” the Your Tango site notes. “At times, couples end up spying on each other and lack of trust becomes a serious obstacle.”
One of the keys here is open communication and fewer secrets.
"Projected emotions": Many felt the woman should leave her husband
