While painful, regret can also be a motivator for learning and growth, encouraging us to avoid repeating past mistakes and make better decisions in the future. We guess that’s why self-help author Debbie Ford once said, “Pain can be our greatest teacher.”
Someone on the web asked hospital workers, “What regrets do you hear from dying patients?”, and folks who’ve been there in people’s last moments shared the words that hit them the hardest. Here’s a list of some of their most profound responses.
More info: Reddit
#21
I work in long term care. Majority male. A LOT of the men regret their marriage.
Also one patient had a psychotic breakdown in his 50’s. He’s in his mid 70’s/ hospice now and says his entire family haven’t talked to him since. All he knows is “words were said and I burned all my bridges.”
HAPPY THINGS HAPPEN TOO!
Also one patient had a psychotic breakdown in his 50’s. He’s in his mid 70’s/ hospice now and says his entire family haven’t talked to him since. All he knows is “words were said and I burned all my bridges.”
HAPPY THINGS HAPPEN TOO!
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25points
#22
"Not yet! I can't die yet. I still have so much growing to do. I want to see my children and grandchildren grow up..."
I am a physician trainee who has done a decent amount of palliative care. I have been privileged to hear many stories and be part of many deaths, but I still can't explain why it is that certain lines remain with me and hit me so much harder. The gentleman who told me the line above was in his late 60s-early 70s. It made me reflect on how I view patients in this age group - yes, much older than myself, but still with growing and living to do.
I also think of a woman in her 50s I met early on in my training. She and her female partner had never married - partly due to laws, partly because it had never seemed important. When she was diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic cancer, they regretted never making that step. I attended their small wedding in the hospital. She died a few days later.
I am a physician trainee who has done a decent amount of palliative care. I have been privileged to hear many stories and be part of many deaths, but I still can't explain why it is that certain lines remain with me and hit me so much harder. The gentleman who told me the line above was in his late 60s-early 70s. It made me reflect on how I view patients in this age group - yes, much older than myself, but still with growing and living to do.
I also think of a woman in her 50s I met early on in my training. She and her female partner had never married - partly due to laws, partly because it had never seemed important. When she was diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic cancer, they regretted never making that step. I attended their small wedding in the hospital. She died a few days later.
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23points
By now you should have a handle on the nature of regret, how it can affect you, and a few of the ways you can start dealing with it. There’s no time like the present to rid yourself of even your deepest regrets, so don’t wait until it’s too late.
Do any of the regrets in this list resonate with you? Upvote the ones that made you think and feel free to leave a comment if you can relate!
#23
Being alone. Although the ones with family around them face different problems, the ones that have no one there in the end seem to have the toughest time.
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22points
#24
Ex-ICU nurse. I had a patient in his 40’s once die from AIDS related complications- at the end he developed an acute respiratory infection, and the time that I and my colleagues looked after him was during the span while he was acutely decompensating. We had to intubate but he quickly became comatous and passed away within a couple days despite all treatment.
He came from a religious family, but was estranged due to his homosexuality. He found religion again when he realized he was dying and it breaks my f*****g heart that he had convinced himself god was punishing him for being gay. Me and my colleagues tried our best, but his belief and his regret was a lifetime-deep, and our time with him was so short. I will never forget being at his bedside, he’s gasping for air, with him telling me desperately between breaths how this is his pumishment from god and he DESERVED it. He died before we had a chance to even help him I feel.
He came from a religious family, but was estranged due to his homosexuality. He found religion again when he realized he was dying and it breaks my f*****g heart that he had convinced himself god was punishing him for being gay. Me and my colleagues tried our best, but his belief and his regret was a lifetime-deep, and our time with him was so short. I will never forget being at his bedside, he’s gasping for air, with him telling me desperately between breaths how this is his pumishment from god and he DESERVED it. He died before we had a chance to even help him I feel.
21points
#25
It always seems to be things people regret not doing (ex i wish i had gone to england) and regreting not spending time with the people they love the most. Remember to do what you love and dont do anything during the day that you will regret at night.
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19points
