“What sparked the idea for my TikTok video was remembering this wedding clip I saw a few months back where the groom’s vows came off extremely disrespectful to me and many others (it’s on the second slide of my video), as well as another video about a groom who was on his phone at his wedding,” the TikToker told Bored Panda, revealing what encouraged her to share the headlines.
“These videos were absolutely outrageous to me and it urged me to think about certain traditions and narratives at weddings. For example, the fact that marriage is supposed to be something that women cannot wait for yet men dread happening. Why would he act miserable because he is losing his freedom when he made the choice to marry her in the first place?
“So, I decided to do some research and see if I could find any more examples of men ruining the big day for their brides and the results were endless. I honestly couldn’t fit them all in one video,” she added.
Some of the headlines captured and shared by Ilaria covered weddings ruined by rather improper vows. “Of course wedding vows are personal to each couple, but I feel like at the same time, they should be respectful and appropriate,” she told Bored Panda.
“The man’s vows in the second slide of my TikTok video were very insulting, where he only spoke about sexual aspects of his bride, not even mentioning anything he loves about her character. If it were a humor thing between the couple, I would understand, but her vows were the complete opposite, sweet and thoughtful. Plus she looked mortified in that video,” Ilaria pointed out.
A few headings in the viral TikTok video also covered the newlyweds smashing cake into each other’s faces; in a far from a gentle manner as well. The tradition is believed to date back to ancient Rome, when a barley cake would be crumbled over the bride’s head to allegedly symbolize fertility and male dominance.
Etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore told PEOPLE she’s not a big fan of the cake smash in the face. “First of all, pictures are going to be taken throughout the evening, and when you mess up a person's makeup… especially after spending so much time and money on her hair and makeup. It makes matters worse.”
“I would recommend using a fork, or even your fingers for a gentle, loving feeding of the cake. It's just something more intimate and emotional versus trying to get a laugh," the expert suggested, adding that not everyone is fond of seeing cake shoved into people’s faces.
“In terms of wedding pranks or the cake in the face concept, I saw somewhere online that most men do it because it’s apparently a wedding tradition, and the wife being displeased and uncomfortable is a part of it,” the TikToker told Bored Panda.
“I understand it may not always have malicious intent, but what is the fun in seeing your significant other being humiliated in front of all your guests? Especially when many women pay hundreds of dollars on makeup and hair only for it to be ruined over some silly joke.”
“In many of the articles, videos online and comments on my video, women have confessed that they made it clear to their fiancé not to throw cake in their face and they did it anyway. Which begs the question on if it can even be seen as a harmless joke if the boundaries were set and disregarded,” she pointed out.
“I honestly never expected for my video to go viral,” the OP shared. “One thing I will say is that I feel for many of the women in the comments that can relate to some extent. I feel as though the comments were a small community of women who connected on a level where we have all felt/seen another woman be humiliated by a man when it was supposed to be a joyous moment.
“But of course, there are the angry men in the comments who waste no time commenting ‘not all men’ or are blaming the women for even being with the men in the first place. It wasn’t supposed to become a man-hating post whatsoever, but I do understand why some men feel that way. I only wanted to share something that caught my eye and triggered some emotions,” Ilaria said.
