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Dr. Sandhu, the head of emotional fitness at Coa, told Bored Panda that our work environment plays a “significant role in our job satisfaction.” Naturally, our coworkers have a hand in shaping that environment. “They help us feel connected to an organization and can help us enjoy the work that we're doing. It's difficult to emotionally separate how we feel about our ‘colleagues’ from how we feel about our ‘job.’”
The clinical psychologist gave an example how an employee who feels a sense of purpose and belonging in a job where collaboration opportunities are available will have an even stronger feeling of belonging in an environment where their relationships with colleagues are nurtured.
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Dr. Sandhu, highlighted the fact that we all tend to be more critical when we’re under stress. What’s more, we can view others’ behavior as more critical than it actually is.
“If you are experiencing a colleague as persistently rude, this is an opportunity to share feedback with them. Prepare to have a feedback conversation with them where you share concrete observations you've made and most importantly, talk about the impact on you. For example, ‘I noticed that you interrupted me twice during that meeting. The impact on me is that I don't get to share my ideas and feel like I'm contributing to the team,’” the expert shared what we can do to change the situation for the better.
“If you do not feel safe sharing feedback directly to this person, look to your manager for support on how this rude behavior impacts you,” Dr. Sandhu said.
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Meanwhile, the author of the thread, redditor Fruntledumjam, went into detail about what (or rather who!) inspired them to create the viral thread on r/AskReddit in the first place. They've got a coworker from hell to deal with themselves, and they wanted to see what similar situations other internet users have dealt with.
"I have somebody at my work who finds anything and everything to complain about. We have a cleaner, and the place I work at is in a warehouse, so it’s not exactly the cleanest. But the cleaner keeps leaving notes inside the break room, asking people to please at least wash their dishes and clean up spills," they said.
"So the complainer continues to complain (as you do) about absolutely nothing. She also brings a generally bad attitude to new people, and will give you the silent treatment if you’re new. On top of that, she yells at the administrator about (you guessed it) things that don’t really matter in the long run. And considering that the admin is also my girlfriend, I don’t like her too much," the redditor shared their personal story.
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In Fruntledumjam's opinion, it's always best to trust your own judgment before labeling someone a coworker from hell based on rumors alone. "If I had my way, I would choose to ignore them and not make myself a target. If you’re just starting out, it’s best to listen to if other people are talking of one certain person, observing the behavior of the certain person, and then making your own judgment. There’s always going to be gossip at any job you work at, and sometimes it’s true what people say, but sometimes it’s the one who started the rumor that’s the one to look out for."
The redditor shared with us that they also had another unruly colleague at work who never showed up because he'd always have hangovers from the night before. Other than that, "he really was a lovely guy."
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There is one upside to having coworkers from hell, however. They might actually force you to make positive life changes that end up benefiting you, just so you can get away from them. For instance, redditor Lil_BootySnack explained how they quit smoking just so they could get some peace and quiet from their stalkerish colleague. It’s a win, overall. Health: 1; coworker from hell: 0.
Completely honestly, I’ve been blessed. In all the different places I’ve ever worked at, I don’t think I’ve ever had a ‘nightmare’ coworker who made my life a living hell. That’s not to say that there’s never been any arguments or disagreements, but everyone’s been quite professional, friendly, and (as cheesy as it sounds) pretty much wholesome.
However, far from everyone’s as lucky as I’ve been. So it’s useful to learn how to deal with difficulties in the workplace without resorting to lawsuits and/or quitting in the most dramatic way possible.
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Psychologist and author Sherrie Bourg Carter writes on Psychology Today that jerks at work are fairly predictable. “Divas will be divas. Complainers will complain. Suck ups will ... well, you get the picture. Although you may not always be able to predict the exact details of each and every drama they'll create, you can probably predict the ‘theme.’ Use this to your advantage by anticipating the next conflict and being prepared with a response.”
So instead of reacting instinctively, think about how you’ll respond the next time there’s a major drama or somebody tries to ruin your day by being annoying, bullying you, or not giving you a moment’s peace.