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It’s no secret that people love making their friends and family feel loved, especially when they get to show off their gastronomic skills. In fact, a survey commissioned by The Little Potato Company and conducted by OnePoll found that 71% of the 2,000 American participants said that cooking is their love language. And if there’s one universal truth we can all agree on — making someone feel happy makes us feel happy too.
But a brief scroll through the frustrating examples members of the 'Cooking' subreddit shared in the thread proves that not everyone is worthy of your kindness. Rude, disrespectful, and jaw-droppingly annoying, these people are a cook’s worst nightmare.
Thankfully, in most cases, hosting special gatherings and eating homemade meals you’ve made while sitting around the dining table is one of the most rewarding experiences out there. So to learn how to become a spectacular dinner host and gain more insight on the guests' unforgettable faux pas, we reached out to food lover, writer, and journalist Ellen Manning. Being the author of the acclaimed Eat With Ellen blog, she was more than happy to share her thoughts on the matter.
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2) An Aunt complained that the Peach tart tasted "too fresh, not like canned peach cobbler."
3) Grandpa complained that I had used too much "real salt" (I didn't I used the Lite-salt he required) and the prime rib tasted to "meaty." He later suggested it was just a lot of work when we could have just gone to the Elk's club.
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Now I only date people who eat their veggies.
"I firmly believe that being a great dinner host is about having fun," Ellen told Bored Panda. "Yes, it's great to cook a wonderful meal, served on a beautifully laid table, with great drinks and the perfect soundtrack, but if you're doing all that and are so stressed you're not enjoying yourself then your guests will know, and it won't be any fun for them."
According to food blogger Ellen, the key to ensuring you can still enjoy the event is being organized. "Get your menu planned, prepare everything as much as you can, and plan a meal that will allow you to engage with your guests while you're cooking/serving, etc. That way everyone will have a great time," she said.
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But how can you know for sure your guests had a good time and genuinely enjoyed the meals you made for the party? Ellen shared with Bored Panda a few subtle things to look out for: "You can usually tell if people are enjoying their food by the way they react while they're eating it."
"If we're honest, most polite people would never slate something you've slaved over to your face and will tend to be quite complimentary," she added. But there's a category of people, however, who may be too polite or kind to cause a commotion. Who won't tell you the truth no matter what. Well, Ellen mentioned it’s easy to tell the difference between a passionate thanks for a meal the guests loved and someone paying lip service.
"That said, people who care about you — friends and family, for example — will love the fact you've put in time and effort to cook for them and host them, regardless of whether the meal rivals something they'd get in a restaurant," Ellen said. "They just want to enjoy your company."
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But as they say, common sense is not so common, and some people will never know how to act politely. So when asked about the most unforgettable gaffes people make while gathering at the table, Ellen explained that a lack of basic manners is the worst thing a dinner guest can do. "Yes, there are all the little etiquette things some people might frown upon, but for most of us, someone using the wrong cutlery or wine glass really isn't a big deal."
"Of course, basic manners at the dinner table are always to be expected — you wouldn't expect your guest to start picking up their food with their fingers, but overall being polite and kind to each other is all you need to be a good dinner party guest," she explained.
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But it’s hardly surprising that when people act impolitely and hurt our feelings by rejecting the meals we made, it can feel like a punch in the stomach. Especially when, according to Ellen, cooking for people is an expression of our care for them. "That's why it hurts so much when it can feel like that's not recognized and is rejected."
"Nobody wants to be rejected or mocked, and for most of us, cooking and hosting for people pushes us out of our comfort zone," the food blogger continued. "It's difficult and potentially embarrassing, which is why it means so much that they enjoy it and hurts so much if they don't."
"I can understand why someone wouldn't want to cook for someone else again if they were ungrateful or impolite, but perhaps the lesson to be learned is to be choosy with who you step out of your comfort zone for. The people who care about you will appreciate the fact you've gone the extra mile, so it's highly unlikely they'd ever be impolite."
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At the end of the day, food presents an opportunity for sharing, whether it’s the weekly Sunday Roast or a workplace lunch. And no matter who you share food with — your best friends, family members, or even total strangers — you still want to feel appreciated. "Be yourself and remember that sharing food is always about more than the food itself," Ellen advised. "It's about showing people you care, spending time with them, and having an experience that you can all join in with."
"That means it doesn't matter whether you've served up the most basic of meals or a five-course tasting menu. It's always about more than the food on the plates, so prioritize enjoyment and care over anything else. That will shine through and guarantee your guests — and you — have a great time," Ellen concluded.
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