Every bridal couple deserves to have the wedding of their dreams. But we are all human, and sometimes mistakes happen. Unfortunately, some people are so obsessed with chasing perfection that they will go to any lengths to get what they want. That’s how some brides end up being bridezillas, and might even ruin their own special day.
Well, the internet is full of stories about such folks whose sense of entitlement got the better of them, and they ended up pulling off shocking shenanigans. Below, we have collected such wild wedding tales that took place in October. Some are so absurd you wouldn’t know whether to laugh or question what was going on in the bride’s mind. Just scroll down to see what I mean!
#1 Bride Is Having Us Pay For Her Getting Ready Suite
We are a group of 4 good college friends. One is getting married next year. We are flying cross country for the wedding (USA).
The bride to be just told us 3 girls that we will be staying in one of the nicest suites at the resort, (which by the way, doubles as her/our getting ready space on the wedding day) and can we all please call the resort to pay our portion. $800 each for 3 nights total.
The bride won’t be staying there. But she needs us to stay there. We asked her if we could do an airbnb 10 minutes away, since that would only be $300 per person instead of $800. She said it was really important to her that we stay at the resort. Fair enough.
So we reach out to the resort and we could stay there in a less fancy suite for $400 per person. Bride still says no, she needs the suite for the getting ready part of the wedding day.
So we are essentially funding part of her wedding. All 3 of us feel it’s unfair and lame but we don’t want to cause a ton of drama. We already told her our issues with the situation and she still “needs” us to stay there.
The bride to be just told us 3 girls that we will be staying in one of the nicest suites at the resort, (which by the way, doubles as her/our getting ready space on the wedding day) and can we all please call the resort to pay our portion. $800 each for 3 nights total.
The bride won’t be staying there. But she needs us to stay there. We asked her if we could do an airbnb 10 minutes away, since that would only be $300 per person instead of $800. She said it was really important to her that we stay at the resort. Fair enough.
So we reach out to the resort and we could stay there in a less fancy suite for $400 per person. Bride still says no, she needs the suite for the getting ready part of the wedding day.
So we are essentially funding part of her wedding. All 3 of us feel it’s unfair and lame but we don’t want to cause a ton of drama. We already told her our issues with the situation and she still “needs” us to stay there.
4points
#2 Is My Cousin Being A Bridezilla?
Cousin 2 says Cousin 1 is being a bridezilla, but I haven't been to many weddings, so I have no idea if this is normal or not.
Cousin 1 isn't letting any white or brown in (her husband is in brown). Not just white dresses, but anything white. Her mother wanted to wear pearl earrings and a necklace, but Cousin 1 said no because they're white. I was planning to wear a white shirt, and she also refused that.
I have only heard the no white dress rule, so I don't know if no white at all is something as well. I personally don't really have a problem since I already have a replacement shirt, but I am curious.
Cousin 1 isn't letting any white or brown in (her husband is in brown). Not just white dresses, but anything white. Her mother wanted to wear pearl earrings and a necklace, but Cousin 1 said no because they're white. I was planning to wear a white shirt, and she also refused that.
I have only heard the no white dress rule, so I don't know if no white at all is something as well. I personally don't really have a problem since I already have a replacement shirt, but I am curious.
4points
#3 Former Friend Jilted (Not At The Alter)
My former friend was jilted by her fiance because turns out she is a massive homophobe. (Also why we are no longer friends). The Grooms sister is a masc lesbian and wanted to wear a suit rather than a dress. I had met her a few times at their functions and she looks very nice in a suit. She would be uncomfortable and to be frank would look odd in a dress.
Naturally she flat out refused and was polite about it. Girl hasnt worn a dress since she was old enough to choose her outfits. Anyway, former friend said "I dont want you looking like a dyke", sis told her brother, I backed her and cussed my former friend 9 ways to sunday.
Friend was dumped within about 48hrs.
My morbid curiosity gets the better of me and now she posts extreme right wing rhetoric. Looks like we all had a lucky escape.
Naturally she flat out refused and was polite about it. Girl hasnt worn a dress since she was old enough to choose her outfits. Anyway, former friend said "I dont want you looking like a dyke", sis told her brother, I backed her and cussed my former friend 9 ways to sunday.
Friend was dumped within about 48hrs.
My morbid curiosity gets the better of me and now she posts extreme right wing rhetoric. Looks like we all had a lucky escape.
4points
When I think of weddings, what usually comes to mind is champagne, toasts, tears, dancing, cake, and, obviously, a delighted bridal couple. As guests, we might not really get to know what happened behind the scenes, but a lot can go down. Some can be emotional moments, while others can be bitter outbursts. People can be pretty good at keeping things hushed up.
However, when someone is entitled, or turns into a bridezilla, they don’t really care what the guests think. Their bizarre shenanigans are out in the open, for everyone to see. Well, this can ruin the ceremony. And sometimes, guests can even tell whether the couple will stay together for long.
#4 Aita For Asking My Friend About Bridesmaid Costs, Which Got Me Removed From Her Bridal Party?
I (29F) agreed to be a bridesmaid at a close friend's destination wedding a few years ago, before I started uni. The wedding is in October 2027. When I said yes, I had over £20k in savings and assumed it would be no problem.
Since then, things have changed a lot. In my final year I was working night shifts alongside my degree, and the strain made me physically ill. I couldn't keep doing both, so I stopped working and lived off my savings until they were gone. I'm now in my overdraft. On top of that, my landlord asked mr to leave so he could renovate, and because I wasn't working and my mum doesn't have a stable job, so I couldn't find a new place in London or use my mom payslips to secure a place . I moved back home and have been doing live-in care work to save up, move back, and look for a grad job. None of this was something I chose, and I hadn't told my friend because I don't like complaining.
Bridesmaids are expected to cover everything themselves: flights, hotel, a made-to-measure outfit, hair, plus food and transport. Makeup was €120, though she said we could do each other's. All in, it's around £700+ for me.
I asked if I could fly out on the Friday instead of the Thursday to save a night of accommodation, and asked for a rough breakdown of costs so I could put money aside each month over the next year. I made it clear I still wanted to be there. She was understanding at first, gave me the breakdown, and even offered to help with the cost of one of the outfits.
Today she messaged saying she'd reflected and thinks it's best to "take the pressure" of being a bridesmaid off me. She said she wants bridesmaids who can fully commit without feeling financially burdened and to be excited and that she wished I'd raised this sooner, since she'd already bought robes, accessories and materials and the flight-booking deadline is close. She said I'm welcome to come as a guest.
I understand she's spent money and needs certainty, and I've apologised and explained everything. But I'm hurt. I wasn't backing out. I was trying to plan a year ahead so I could do it. It also doesn't feel like she understood that what happened to me was outside my control.
Was I wrong to ask about costs and arriving a day later, or should I have just stayed quiet and found the money somehow?
Since then, things have changed a lot. In my final year I was working night shifts alongside my degree, and the strain made me physically ill. I couldn't keep doing both, so I stopped working and lived off my savings until they were gone. I'm now in my overdraft. On top of that, my landlord asked mr to leave so he could renovate, and because I wasn't working and my mum doesn't have a stable job, so I couldn't find a new place in London or use my mom payslips to secure a place . I moved back home and have been doing live-in care work to save up, move back, and look for a grad job. None of this was something I chose, and I hadn't told my friend because I don't like complaining.
Bridesmaids are expected to cover everything themselves: flights, hotel, a made-to-measure outfit, hair, plus food and transport. Makeup was €120, though she said we could do each other's. All in, it's around £700+ for me.
I asked if I could fly out on the Friday instead of the Thursday to save a night of accommodation, and asked for a rough breakdown of costs so I could put money aside each month over the next year. I made it clear I still wanted to be there. She was understanding at first, gave me the breakdown, and even offered to help with the cost of one of the outfits.
Today she messaged saying she'd reflected and thinks it's best to "take the pressure" of being a bridesmaid off me. She said she wants bridesmaids who can fully commit without feeling financially burdened and to be excited and that she wished I'd raised this sooner, since she'd already bought robes, accessories and materials and the flight-booking deadline is close. She said I'm welcome to come as a guest.
I understand she's spent money and needs certainty, and I've apologised and explained everything. But I'm hurt. I wasn't backing out. I was trying to plan a year ahead so I could do it. It also doesn't feel like she understood that what happened to me was outside my control.
Was I wrong to ask about costs and arriving a day later, or should I have just stayed quiet and found the money somehow?
4points
#5 Aita For Refusing To Buy A New Dress After The Bride Changed The Color Code 12 Days Before Her Wedding?
My college roommate Danielle is getting married on the 18th. The invite said "garden party attire, soft colors welcome" and nothing else. Back in August I (27F) found a light peach midi dress on sale for $85, sent her a picture, and she replied "perfect!!" with a bunch of hearts.
Last Sunday a new message went out to every guest. Her photographer suggested a "cohesive palette," so now everyone has to wear dusty blue or sage. She linked a site where most dresses run $110 to $150. Peach is apparently too close to the bridesmaids, who are in blush.
Mine was final sale, so I can't return it. I'm also already paying $260 for the hotel and my flight is booked.
I messaged her privately, said congrats again and asked if I could wear the peach with a sage cardigan. I also offered to stand at the edge of group photos, or skip the big one entirely if that helps.
She said a cardigan would look like I "didn't care," and that everyone else is making it work. When I told her, politely, that I can't spend another $120 on an outfit for one day, she said I'm "making it about me" and should think about whether I really want to come.
I still want to go. I already RSVP'd, bought a gift off her registry and told her I'll respect whatever she decides. Now two friends from our group are telling me to just buy the dress to keep the peace.
Am I wrong for not buying another dress?
TL;DR: I bought an $85 peach dress the bride approved. Twelve days before the wedding she switched the guest dress code to blue or sage and turned down my cardigan compromise.
Last Sunday a new message went out to every guest. Her photographer suggested a "cohesive palette," so now everyone has to wear dusty blue or sage. She linked a site where most dresses run $110 to $150. Peach is apparently too close to the bridesmaids, who are in blush.
Mine was final sale, so I can't return it. I'm also already paying $260 for the hotel and my flight is booked.
I messaged her privately, said congrats again and asked if I could wear the peach with a sage cardigan. I also offered to stand at the edge of group photos, or skip the big one entirely if that helps.
She said a cardigan would look like I "didn't care," and that everyone else is making it work. When I told her, politely, that I can't spend another $120 on an outfit for one day, she said I'm "making it about me" and should think about whether I really want to come.
I still want to go. I already RSVP'd, bought a gift off her registry and told her I'll respect whatever she decides. Now two friends from our group are telling me to just buy the dress to keep the peace.
Am I wrong for not buying another dress?
TL;DR: I bought an $85 peach dress the bride approved. Twelve days before the wedding she switched the guest dress code to blue or sage and turned down my cardigan compromise.
3points
#6 Excuse Me But Its A Public Park
Its fall in New England which means its time for everyone to take family pictures using the colorful trees at the background. A lot of photographers run specials using the parks in the area. Cool its a public park.
So this couple is having their engagement pictures taken at the park. Beautiful setting. One of the shots was on the stepping stones between 2 ponds. This would have been ok however people always walk around the park including going over the stepping stones to follow the trail around the pond.
Photographer sets up and starts snapping away. People are on both sides hiding out of view while the shoot continues. And continues. And continues. 15 minutes later one guy yells, 'Are you going to finish soon? I've been waiting here for 15 minutes. So have a lot of other people.'
Bride to be says they are ruining her pictures and everyone needs to stop being jerks. So the guy that asked them to wrap it up decided if she thought he was a jerk then a jerk he'd be. He went out on the stepping stones right behind them and stood there ruining the shot. Another guy on the other end went out and stood right behind the photographer.
When the couple decided to leave neither of the guys moved. One said he was almost finished (he was just standing there scrolling on his phone). After a few minutes the guy on the far side walked back to the bank. The couple and their photographer followed him and then had to wait until the bottleneck they created cleared.
So this couple is having their engagement pictures taken at the park. Beautiful setting. One of the shots was on the stepping stones between 2 ponds. This would have been ok however people always walk around the park including going over the stepping stones to follow the trail around the pond.
Photographer sets up and starts snapping away. People are on both sides hiding out of view while the shoot continues. And continues. And continues. 15 minutes later one guy yells, 'Are you going to finish soon? I've been waiting here for 15 minutes. So have a lot of other people.'
Bride to be says they are ruining her pictures and everyone needs to stop being jerks. So the guy that asked them to wrap it up decided if she thought he was a jerk then a jerk he'd be. He went out on the stepping stones right behind them and stood there ruining the shot. Another guy on the other end went out and stood right behind the photographer.
When the couple decided to leave neither of the guys moved. One said he was almost finished (he was just standing there scrolling on his phone). After a few minutes the guy on the far side walked back to the bank. The couple and their photographer followed him and then had to wait until the bottleneck they created cleared.
3points
As I mentioned before, when brides are entitled, things can get worse. According to experts at Verywell Mind, a person with a sense of entitlement has a self-absorbed view of the world and little regard or empathy for their impact on others. In its extreme form, it may be part of a personality disorder such as NPD.
They add that such people have high demands, expect others to do things for them, prioritize their own needs, and act melodramatically when others don’t give in. Moreover, these folks lack gratitude and need constant praise. They also often act like victims, blaming others or outside forces for their problems.
People with this attitude believe the world owes them and that others are responsible for making their lives better. This helps explain why some women turn into bridezillas and don’t hesitate to make absurd demands, even of guests.
#7 Aita If I Refuse To Change For My Sister's Wedding?
Hey reddit, this is my first post so forgive me if its written weirdly. I (20F) am considered the black sheep of my family, bright purple hair, lots of piercings, different statement clothes, and tattoos. I have different interests, and have always been made to feel that im not going to get anywhere in life with how i look. my mom, dad, and sister are all relatively "normal" and by that i mean basic white family in the midwest. Fast forward to recently, my sister (24F) got engaged to her fiance, and they have been very happy, planning their life together, and i was very happy for them. my sister had asked me and my two cousins to be bridesmaids, and i was excited, until she laid it all on me. i have to take out both lip piercings, have only studs in my nose and flip up my septum, which sucks but it's not the worst part. For anyone wondering, i am a licensed hair dresser, and ive had so many hair colors but i have settled on the purple i have now. I havent had a natural color since high school, so when my sister says i have to have a natural hair color for her wedding photos, i was a bit put off to say the least. I was upset about it and didnt really address it for a bit, until she cornered me in the living room and very snarkily said "so what color are you doing for the wedding?" and i tried to explain that it wasn't that easy. Going back to a vivid color like that after a natural fresh color is just not feasible to be done quickly or without damage. i tried to suggest something more temporary like a wig, but "she just dont think they will look good in the photos".
So reddit, i asked everyone i knew, and outside of my family everyone has said that its a weird ask. And dont get me wrong, shes an ex photographer and has dreamed of her wedding her whole life, and i understand that, i get wanting the picture perfect day, and wanting great photos. I just dont understand why i as a bridesmaid have to change my body for her big day for one day.
i asked her a few weeks ago when she came in for the hair cut specifically what about the purple hair will not go with the photos, and i was polite, just trying to get a reasoning to understand where she was coming from. she would not give me a straight answer, saying "oh you know its just, i dont know its just, ya know" and honestly that pissed me off.
this is where i may be the jerk. The wedding is in seven months and im debating. If i refuse to conform and change all of this for her wedding day, would i be the jerk? at this point i know that she loves me because shes my sister, but she doesnt like me, and i can't tell if that's worse than the backlash i will get from the whole family for just standing up for myself. My hair and my creativity are who i am, my brand, and how i exist. To me, she should have me there as i am or i just wont come.
So reddit, i asked everyone i knew, and outside of my family everyone has said that its a weird ask. And dont get me wrong, shes an ex photographer and has dreamed of her wedding her whole life, and i understand that, i get wanting the picture perfect day, and wanting great photos. I just dont understand why i as a bridesmaid have to change my body for her big day for one day.
i asked her a few weeks ago when she came in for the hair cut specifically what about the purple hair will not go with the photos, and i was polite, just trying to get a reasoning to understand where she was coming from. she would not give me a straight answer, saying "oh you know its just, i dont know its just, ya know" and honestly that pissed me off.
this is where i may be the jerk. The wedding is in seven months and im debating. If i refuse to conform and change all of this for her wedding day, would i be the jerk? at this point i know that she loves me because shes my sister, but she doesnt like me, and i can't tell if that's worse than the backlash i will get from the whole family for just standing up for myself. My hair and my creativity are who i am, my brand, and how i exist. To me, she should have me there as i am or i just wont come.
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3points
#8 Bridezilla, Just Want It To Be Over
Long story short I am doing hair for my friend’s wedding and I am in the wedding as well. I also do bridal hair for my career. She is making everything overly difficult and it has straining on our friendship. The wedding planner she hired is wanting to basically micromanage me over hair? Which I have never had happen before, usually wedding planner and vendors just simply respect each other, and don’t try to tell each other how to do her jobs.
The bride is also asking people to tell me directly if they want their hair done and they are not telling me when the bride thinks they have. The bride is adding people last minute when I’m already on a time crunch! The bride also told people they can call me and have phone call with me for any hair concerns… which is abnormal and I wouldn’t get paid for this! For background I have also done my part of how long I take for her per person and we had a reasonable amount of people getting their hair done before and now two more people are added on a very tight time crunch.
My last straw came when the bride made a comment that I am not there for her when she will be there for me at my wedding in the future. That pisses me off so much! I am already giving her discounted prices, doing a hail mary for the timeline, spent 3k on her wedding so far including a $400 bridesmaid dress with tailoring. On top of that have gone out of my to help with events. This wedding has been so striating on our friendship.
Thank you for listening to my vent! On top of that the wedding planner is very whatever the bride wants the brides gets which is just unreasonable and just inflating her large ego even more. I feel like I did not have any issues in my friendship if any until this wedding.
The bride is also asking people to tell me directly if they want their hair done and they are not telling me when the bride thinks they have. The bride is adding people last minute when I’m already on a time crunch! The bride also told people they can call me and have phone call with me for any hair concerns… which is abnormal and I wouldn’t get paid for this! For background I have also done my part of how long I take for her per person and we had a reasonable amount of people getting their hair done before and now two more people are added on a very tight time crunch.
My last straw came when the bride made a comment that I am not there for her when she will be there for me at my wedding in the future. That pisses me off so much! I am already giving her discounted prices, doing a hail mary for the timeline, spent 3k on her wedding so far including a $400 bridesmaid dress with tailoring. On top of that have gone out of my to help with events. This wedding has been so striating on our friendship.
Thank you for listening to my vent! On top of that the wedding planner is very whatever the bride wants the brides gets which is just unreasonable and just inflating her large ego even more. I feel like I did not have any issues in my friendship if any until this wedding.
2points
#9 Bride Goes On Honeymoon With Her Parents Instead Of Her Husband!!!
Groom (my friend) currently lives in Washington, and bride is in California.
A few days before the wedding, groom texts me asking for a good *SOLO* trip itinerary in Oregon, stating his intention to travel during the days immediately after the wedding. I'm a little surprised but I answer the question I'm asked. Curiosity got the better of me and i asked him why he's going on a solo trip so soon after his wedding.
He said his wife and her parents are going on vacation in California and he isn't part of it; so he wanted to go someplace to take his mind off things.
I wanted to tell him that a honeymoon isn't a trip one takes with one's freaking parents, but with one's spouse, but I didn't want to add to his misery. Poor fella.
A few days before the wedding, groom texts me asking for a good *SOLO* trip itinerary in Oregon, stating his intention to travel during the days immediately after the wedding. I'm a little surprised but I answer the question I'm asked. Curiosity got the better of me and i asked him why he's going on a solo trip so soon after his wedding.
He said his wife and her parents are going on vacation in California and he isn't part of it; so he wanted to go someplace to take his mind off things.
I wanted to tell him that a honeymoon isn't a trip one takes with one's freaking parents, but with one's spouse, but I didn't want to add to his misery. Poor fella.
2points
However, we also need to look at the dark side of weddings and what can really turn a woman into a bridezilla. According to a 2024 survey, 84% of brides report feeling stressed before and during their big day, with over a quarter calling it the most stressful event of their lives.
A therapist highlighted that many bridal couples report feeling overwhelmed while planning their wedding. In fact, their anxiety can show up as physical symptoms like headaches, changes in appetite, hair loss, skin breakouts, and reduced intimacy.
#10 Bridezilla... Strict Dress Attire For Guests... Money Gift Only... No Thank You Notes Or Acknowledgement Whatsoever To Anyone...
I attended a bridal shower in April. The shower was a good hour drive away. The bride requested that the guests contribute to their wedding fund. The wedding for that couple was in May. The bride set strict rules for guest attire. Not only were the ladies to be wearing formal long gowns but we had to be in all black long gowns. No other colors within that black gown...just plain black. I live in the south so it is extremely warm in May. Plus, I don't know about you but I don't have a long black gown just hanging in my closet. So, out I went to purchase the gown and shoes for the wedding. The wedding venue was about 1.5 hour drive from me, btw. Wedding day arrives and it is hot AND raining. Thunderstorms. The bride insisted that she still wanted the ceremony outside. There were chairs set up in a grassy field. No tents....no cover whatsoever. The chairs were literally puddles of water because they had a scooped bottom. Here we all are...in the thunderstorm...sitting with our brand new gowns/tuxes...for this ceremony in the puddle chairs. I was soaking wet, like I had jumped into the nearby lake. It was miserable. The reception was at the same venue so there was no way to dry off for the entire night. At least the reception was under cover. The bride and groom requested that all guests gift them money for their honeymoon to Europe. To add insult to injury...I have never received a thank you card for the bridal shower gift nor for the wedding gift.
EDIT: To address those that are saying I could have just gone home or that I am playing the victim or that I could have just refused to go at all. I understand those could have been options for me. The groom's mother and I have been friends for almost 20 years. Her parents consider me one of their own. They even included me in their family photos at the wedding. In that situation, I just didn't think it would be appropriate to do anything but comply. Was I upset about sitting in a puddle in my new gown...yup. Did I look like a drown rat once we were able to get into the covered reception area...yup. I stayed because I was trying to do the right thing, even though the bride (and yes, her whipped groom) didn't take anyone else into consideration but herself.
EDIT: To address those that are saying I could have just gone home or that I am playing the victim or that I could have just refused to go at all. I understand those could have been options for me. The groom's mother and I have been friends for almost 20 years. Her parents consider me one of their own. They even included me in their family photos at the wedding. In that situation, I just didn't think it would be appropriate to do anything but comply. Was I upset about sitting in a puddle in my new gown...yup. Did I look like a drown rat once we were able to get into the covered reception area...yup. I stayed because I was trying to do the right thing, even though the bride (and yes, her whipped groom) didn't take anyone else into consideration but herself.
2points
#11 First Bridezilla
And I'm fuming about it.
I just had a call from her.
Nothing. NOTHING is good to her. Everything from the contact on the first day got wrong:
- she wasn't able to connect via zoom
- she was complaining about the price
- she was going with another photographer (I was thrilled to not work for her)
- then she recontacted me and signed the contract and I was like "Oh god. Once It's bad, it stay bad". But hey, bills got to be paid.
- D-day : she was mean to everyone, she was complaining about everything, it was raining and she didn't have a plan B for this scenario
- she was 20min late for the ceremony,
- we get expulsed from the lieu because there was another wedding next,
- they all got in my way and prevent me to take my photos,
- we were 40 persons in .... 20m2 (or 215 fs for those across Atlantic)
- and now she harasses me to get her pictures. Well, I'm 1 month/2 in the process.
- I send her some previews to calm her but NO STILL NOT ENOUGH
- she complains that there is no photo like she wants for her thank you note. I wasn't ABLE to get the photo she wants. There was always someone in front of me OR there was NO SPACE to get any photo done.
We argued hard, some hard words were said. Now I am professional and try to get something to work with but I am disappointed and frustrated.
I just had a call from her.
Nothing. NOTHING is good to her. Everything from the contact on the first day got wrong:
- she wasn't able to connect via zoom
- she was complaining about the price
- she was going with another photographer (I was thrilled to not work for her)
- then she recontacted me and signed the contract and I was like "Oh god. Once It's bad, it stay bad". But hey, bills got to be paid.
- D-day : she was mean to everyone, she was complaining about everything, it was raining and she didn't have a plan B for this scenario
- she was 20min late for the ceremony,
- we get expulsed from the lieu because there was another wedding next,
- they all got in my way and prevent me to take my photos,
- we were 40 persons in .... 20m2 (or 215 fs for those across Atlantic)
- and now she harasses me to get her pictures. Well, I'm 1 month/2 in the process.
- I send her some previews to calm her but NO STILL NOT ENOUGH
- she complains that there is no photo like she wants for her thank you note. I wasn't ABLE to get the photo she wants. There was always someone in front of me OR there was NO SPACE to get any photo done.
We argued hard, some hard words were said. Now I am professional and try to get something to work with but I am disappointed and frustrated.
2points
#12 Aita For Putting My Foot Down About My Future Sister-In-Law’s Last-Minute Wedding Plans?
My future sister-in-law is getting married, and I love her. However, I’m really struggling with how disorganized and, honestly, inconsiderate the planning has been toward everyone involved.
For context, I’m a planner by nature, so I understand that things don’t always go perfectly. I’m also not expecting everything to revolve around me. But I feel like there’s a difference between being flexible for someone’s wedding and being expected to rearrange your entire life at the last minute.
For example, the venue is about an hour away from the nearest decent hotel. Fine. It’s inconvenient, but whatever. We can make it work.
The bigger issue is that we didn’t receive the rehearsal dinner schedule until the DAY BEFORE. The schedule clearly lists the rehearsal as starting at a certain time, but then the bride tells us we need to arrive two hours earlier than that.
That might not sound like a big deal, but my spouse and I both work, we have three young children, and we share a vehicle. Being told this with less than 24 hours’ notice means potentially leaving work early, pulling the kids out of school early, and driving an hour and 45 minutes to the venue much earlier than we had planned.
Then there’s the hair and makeup situation.
We were originally told hair and makeup would take place at the venue. A WEEK before the wedding, we were told it would actually be at a salon about an hour away from the venue.
Again, my spouse and I are both in the wedding. We share a vehicle and have three young children to manage. Trying to coordinate getting everyone to a salon, keeping three kids occupied in that setting, and then figuring out transportation to a venue an hour away is a logistical nightmare.
I ultimately had to tell the bride that I wouldn’t be participating in the hair and makeup arrangements because I simply couldn’t make the logistics work with our children and the last-minute change.
Now I’ve also had to put my foot down about arriving two hours before the scheduled rehearsal time. I’m being made to feel like the difficult one by my family, and honestly, it’s frustrating.
Here’s the thing: I probably COULD have made all of this work if I’d been given enough notice. I could have arranged childcare, coordinated schedules, adjusted work, or figured out transportation. But expecting people to rearrange their lives with less than 24 hours’ notice is unreasonable, especially when the original plans were different.
I feel like I’m being punished for having boundaries when the real issue is the lack of communication and planning.
And before anyone says, “It’s her wedding, it’s not about you,” I KNOW. I’m not asking for special treatment, and I’m not expecting her to plan her wedding around my preferences. I’m asking for basic consideration for the people who are taking time off work, arranging childcare, traveling, and participating in the wedding.
I think what bothers me most is that everything seems to be thrown together at the last minute, with the expectation that everyone else will just figure it out. As someone who plans ahead and considers how decisions affect other people, it’s driving me absolutely crazy.
So, AITA for putting my foot down and refusing to accommodate these last-minute changes, even though it’s causing tension with my family? Or am I being unreasonable because it’s her wedding and I should just suck it up?
For context, I’m a planner by nature, so I understand that things don’t always go perfectly. I’m also not expecting everything to revolve around me. But I feel like there’s a difference between being flexible for someone’s wedding and being expected to rearrange your entire life at the last minute.
For example, the venue is about an hour away from the nearest decent hotel. Fine. It’s inconvenient, but whatever. We can make it work.
The bigger issue is that we didn’t receive the rehearsal dinner schedule until the DAY BEFORE. The schedule clearly lists the rehearsal as starting at a certain time, but then the bride tells us we need to arrive two hours earlier than that.
That might not sound like a big deal, but my spouse and I both work, we have three young children, and we share a vehicle. Being told this with less than 24 hours’ notice means potentially leaving work early, pulling the kids out of school early, and driving an hour and 45 minutes to the venue much earlier than we had planned.
Then there’s the hair and makeup situation.
We were originally told hair and makeup would take place at the venue. A WEEK before the wedding, we were told it would actually be at a salon about an hour away from the venue.
Again, my spouse and I are both in the wedding. We share a vehicle and have three young children to manage. Trying to coordinate getting everyone to a salon, keeping three kids occupied in that setting, and then figuring out transportation to a venue an hour away is a logistical nightmare.
I ultimately had to tell the bride that I wouldn’t be participating in the hair and makeup arrangements because I simply couldn’t make the logistics work with our children and the last-minute change.
Now I’ve also had to put my foot down about arriving two hours before the scheduled rehearsal time. I’m being made to feel like the difficult one by my family, and honestly, it’s frustrating.
Here’s the thing: I probably COULD have made all of this work if I’d been given enough notice. I could have arranged childcare, coordinated schedules, adjusted work, or figured out transportation. But expecting people to rearrange their lives with less than 24 hours’ notice is unreasonable, especially when the original plans were different.
I feel like I’m being punished for having boundaries when the real issue is the lack of communication and planning.
And before anyone says, “It’s her wedding, it’s not about you,” I KNOW. I’m not asking for special treatment, and I’m not expecting her to plan her wedding around my preferences. I’m asking for basic consideration for the people who are taking time off work, arranging childcare, traveling, and participating in the wedding.
I think what bothers me most is that everything seems to be thrown together at the last minute, with the expectation that everyone else will just figure it out. As someone who plans ahead and considers how decisions affect other people, it’s driving me absolutely crazy.
So, AITA for putting my foot down and refusing to accommodate these last-minute changes, even though it’s causing tension with my family? Or am I being unreasonable because it’s her wedding and I should just suck it up?
2points
According to the professionals at Lake Area Psychiatry, “Weddings are often called the happiest day of a couple’s life—but for many people, the months leading up to these big events can be unexpectedly overwhelming. Weddings bring together a mix of high expectations, family dynamics, financial strain, and the pressure to perform socially, all of which can take a toll on mental health.”
They point out signs that indicate that wedding stress might be crossing a line:
- Trouble sleeping or persistent fatigue
- Feeling irritable or emotionally reactive
- Avoiding conversations or tasks related to the event
- Panic attacks or increased anxiety
- Persistent sadness or feeling emotionally numb
#13 Entitled (Ex)friend Uninvited Me From Her Wedding Because I Won't Let Her Use My Sister's House For Her Bridal Shower
I've known Ana since primary school (were both 26 now) and she recently got engaged to her boyfriend of 11 years. My relationship with her has been on and off for years due to us leading completely different lifestyles, study times and work times, but we still kept contact nonetheless. I received her wedding invitation in the first week of December, the wedding will be in the first week of February.
She's now living in a city 14 hours away from my home. My sister and her family also live in that city. During the holidays, my sister asked me if I'd travel to her city to dogsit for them, since it would be out of their budget to take the dog to a doggy daycare, but they could afford my travel and food expenses. I agreed because I'm on vacation now, but I have my last finals in late February-March, so I wanted to go out somewhere far from my family to be able to focus better. Besides, the wedding will happen while I'm there anyway, so I'd still travel all the way.
I let Ana know of my travel plans so we could set a hangout or something, and she told me that since I was going so early, I could go to her bridal shower. I was eager to day yes, until she dropped that since I'd have my sister's house to myself, I could host the bridal shower there.
I just laughed, thinking she was joking, but she was very serious and got impatient, saying that since I haven't been constant in her life for the past 5 years (since she moved 14 hours away from me) the least I could do to get back in her good graces was to host the bridal shower at my sister's house. I just laughed more and told her that I wouldn't do that in a million years, since I don't have that authorization from my sister and I wouldn't get it since they don't know each other.
Ana didn't answer after that, and this morning she texted me that I was uninvited to her wedding since I don't "hold her friendship in high regard" as she thought. I'm not going to argue with her any longer. To be honest, I'm not that hurt, we did grow distant over time, but it's still sad to see her true colors after so long.
She's now living in a city 14 hours away from my home. My sister and her family also live in that city. During the holidays, my sister asked me if I'd travel to her city to dogsit for them, since it would be out of their budget to take the dog to a doggy daycare, but they could afford my travel and food expenses. I agreed because I'm on vacation now, but I have my last finals in late February-March, so I wanted to go out somewhere far from my family to be able to focus better. Besides, the wedding will happen while I'm there anyway, so I'd still travel all the way.
I let Ana know of my travel plans so we could set a hangout or something, and she told me that since I was going so early, I could go to her bridal shower. I was eager to day yes, until she dropped that since I'd have my sister's house to myself, I could host the bridal shower there.
I just laughed, thinking she was joking, but she was very serious and got impatient, saying that since I haven't been constant in her life for the past 5 years (since she moved 14 hours away from me) the least I could do to get back in her good graces was to host the bridal shower at my sister's house. I just laughed more and told her that I wouldn't do that in a million years, since I don't have that authorization from my sister and I wouldn't get it since they don't know each other.
Ana didn't answer after that, and this morning she texted me that I was uninvited to her wedding since I don't "hold her friendship in high regard" as she thought. I'm not going to argue with her any longer. To be honest, I'm not that hurt, we did grow distant over time, but it's still sad to see her true colors after so long.
1point
#14 Is This Valid Reason To End A Friendship?
Need somewhere to rant and get advice. I’m part of a friend group of people who met in undergrad and each of them has been getting married. No issues. However, this one girl is getting married this year and the whole experience has been nothing short of a nightmare from the moment she announced her engagement.
This girl seems to think the entire world revolves around her. From the first day she announced the main event, nothing has been consistent or clear INCLUDING all the dates, locations, times for EVERY event. Even continuing to add random events throughout with very minimal notice. We are all expected to drop everything at a whim and attend her never ending steam of events with no notice or time to prepare. And if we aren’t available, she has been chastising us asking why we can’t just not go to work, why we even have to work in the first place, and that our availability is frustrating. Just blatant disregard and inconsiderate behaviour. She recently had a bridal shower and even the DAY OF changed the location and timing numerous times, and then made everyone pay their OWN bills. Then had the audacity to ask for a bachelorette party too, again with no notice. It’s a struggle to be understanding of this big occasion in her life, but also feel respected with our morals and basic human decency. It seems everything is done with no care or consideration of the people involved and it’s become clear that everything is for show with no substance.
She is now (within a few weeks of the first events) asking for bridesmaids but refuses to tell people what she expects from them, despite having had about a year to think about it since the engagement. She has also decided to continue to keep adding more events with again no explanation, location, or times listed. We all live in different cities so traveling is not as easy for everyone and not knowing where things will be in advance is extremely hard to accommodate. She also expects us to behave in certain ways, wear certain clothes, and perform highly specific tasks, despite some of the people only knowing her for a few months. I feel this is a lot to ask of people you don’t know very well and again underlies the very self-centred thinking. There is so much more about this story but I just wanted to know what to do.
This girl seems to think the entire world revolves around her. From the first day she announced the main event, nothing has been consistent or clear INCLUDING all the dates, locations, times for EVERY event. Even continuing to add random events throughout with very minimal notice. We are all expected to drop everything at a whim and attend her never ending steam of events with no notice or time to prepare. And if we aren’t available, she has been chastising us asking why we can’t just not go to work, why we even have to work in the first place, and that our availability is frustrating. Just blatant disregard and inconsiderate behaviour. She recently had a bridal shower and even the DAY OF changed the location and timing numerous times, and then made everyone pay their OWN bills. Then had the audacity to ask for a bachelorette party too, again with no notice. It’s a struggle to be understanding of this big occasion in her life, but also feel respected with our morals and basic human decency. It seems everything is done with no care or consideration of the people involved and it’s become clear that everything is for show with no substance.
She is now (within a few weeks of the first events) asking for bridesmaids but refuses to tell people what she expects from them, despite having had about a year to think about it since the engagement. She has also decided to continue to keep adding more events with again no explanation, location, or times listed. We all live in different cities so traveling is not as easy for everyone and not knowing where things will be in advance is extremely hard to accommodate. She also expects us to behave in certain ways, wear certain clothes, and perform highly specific tasks, despite some of the people only knowing her for a few months. I feel this is a lot to ask of people you don’t know very well and again underlies the very self-centred thinking. There is so much more about this story but I just wanted to know what to do.
1point
#15 I Lost My Best Friend Of 15 Years Because Of Her Bachelorette Trip
My friend of 15 years is getting married and wanted a destination bachelorette trip. Between flights, accommodation, dress-code outfits, and decorations, it cost me around $2,000 for a weekend. On top of that, I had to travel 24 hours just to get to the destination she chose.
I had no problem spending the money or traveling because I wanted to support her, but things completely derailed.
She was on edge I admit and I also understand with the wedding coming up she was stressed so I didn’t take anything she did/say to heart and brushed it off.
Every time she was rude or mean to me on the trip, I brushed it off and blamed it on her wedding stress I didn’t even want to call her out and ruin the mood. She spent the trip giving me a hard time, making fun of what I was wearing, and calling me "cheap" and "dumb" right in front of her other friends (whom I had never met before). I was deeply hurt, mocked, and embarrassed. And I was planning to talk to her after. We’ve always teased each other in private but this was next level- we’d be having lunch with the group and her fun topic would be « Emma was the dumbest girl in our classroom back in the day »
The boiling point happened on the second night. We had already gone out clubbing the night before, but she packed every day with non-stop daytime activities and late-night partying. By night two, I was physically miserable I had severe period cramps, intense nausea, and all the drinking was getting to me.
I simply needed to go back to the room and rest.
Instead of showing any concern, she took my illness as a personal offense. She threw a massive tantrum, forced me to stay out and go clubbing anyway, and then treated me like complete garbage and ignored me for the rest of the trip. When I said I wanted to go home, she had the nerve to say she was "so disappointed" in me and that our 15-year friendship had always been nothing but trouble for her and I was always a horrible unreliable friend.
When we got back, I confronted her about how hurt I was. She brushed off her insults with a vague "I didn't mean anything," but never once apologized for forcing me out while sick or for treating me like trash and ignoring me afterward. Instead, she doubled down and demanded that I apologize to HER for ruining her moment at the club.
I refuse to apologize for being physically sick. I pushed my body to its absolute limit for her, and she didn't even have the basic courtesy to say "thank you for coming."
I haven't been able to get over how self centered and selfish she became. But honestly, she also has an expensive destination wedding planned, and as much as this hurts after 15 years, I genuinely feel like I was saved from having to go through an even bigger nightmare for her actual wedding.
Am I crazy, or is demanding an apology after forcing a sick friend to party completely unhinged?
It feels like she’s showing me her true colors and I don’t think I can be friends with her anymore.
EDIT :
I wasn’t expecting this many comments! Thank you for the kind words & support!!
IMPORTANT :
I forgot to mention that the reason why I was forced to stay out and go clubbing was because we were already outside having dinner very far from the hotel- a taxi/uber would’ve been 300$- I asked if I could be dropped off and the bride could continue the night with whoever wants to club but she threw a tantrum and said no I’m ruining the itinerary and more girls might wanna skip which she didn’t want happening and told me to pull myself together and she cried and threw a tantrum her other friends took her side and said it’s a once in a lifetime experience blablabla
EDIT 2 : I didn’t know everyone else in the group, however some of the girls that I met before during other occasions reached out and told me they were baffled by the bride’s behavior towards me and weren’t sure how to act also said she was stressing/pressuring them as well and they all felt bad about being forced to do so much and have told the bride but s
I had no problem spending the money or traveling because I wanted to support her, but things completely derailed.
She was on edge I admit and I also understand with the wedding coming up she was stressed so I didn’t take anything she did/say to heart and brushed it off.
Every time she was rude or mean to me on the trip, I brushed it off and blamed it on her wedding stress I didn’t even want to call her out and ruin the mood. She spent the trip giving me a hard time, making fun of what I was wearing, and calling me "cheap" and "dumb" right in front of her other friends (whom I had never met before). I was deeply hurt, mocked, and embarrassed. And I was planning to talk to her after. We’ve always teased each other in private but this was next level- we’d be having lunch with the group and her fun topic would be « Emma was the dumbest girl in our classroom back in the day »
The boiling point happened on the second night. We had already gone out clubbing the night before, but she packed every day with non-stop daytime activities and late-night partying. By night two, I was physically miserable I had severe period cramps, intense nausea, and all the drinking was getting to me.
I simply needed to go back to the room and rest.
Instead of showing any concern, she took my illness as a personal offense. She threw a massive tantrum, forced me to stay out and go clubbing anyway, and then treated me like complete garbage and ignored me for the rest of the trip. When I said I wanted to go home, she had the nerve to say she was "so disappointed" in me and that our 15-year friendship had always been nothing but trouble for her and I was always a horrible unreliable friend.
When we got back, I confronted her about how hurt I was. She brushed off her insults with a vague "I didn't mean anything," but never once apologized for forcing me out while sick or for treating me like trash and ignoring me afterward. Instead, she doubled down and demanded that I apologize to HER for ruining her moment at the club.
I refuse to apologize for being physically sick. I pushed my body to its absolute limit for her, and she didn't even have the basic courtesy to say "thank you for coming."
I haven't been able to get over how self centered and selfish she became. But honestly, she also has an expensive destination wedding planned, and as much as this hurts after 15 years, I genuinely feel like I was saved from having to go through an even bigger nightmare for her actual wedding.
Am I crazy, or is demanding an apology after forcing a sick friend to party completely unhinged?
It feels like she’s showing me her true colors and I don’t think I can be friends with her anymore.
EDIT :
I wasn’t expecting this many comments! Thank you for the kind words & support!!
IMPORTANT :
I forgot to mention that the reason why I was forced to stay out and go clubbing was because we were already outside having dinner very far from the hotel- a taxi/uber would’ve been 300$- I asked if I could be dropped off and the bride could continue the night with whoever wants to club but she threw a tantrum and said no I’m ruining the itinerary and more girls might wanna skip which she didn’t want happening and told me to pull myself together and she cried and threw a tantrum her other friends took her side and said it’s a once in a lifetime experience blablabla
EDIT 2 : I didn’t know everyone else in the group, however some of the girls that I met before during other occasions reached out and told me they were baffled by the bride’s behavior towards me and weren’t sure how to act also said she was stressing/pressuring them as well and they all felt bad about being forced to do so much and have told the bride but s
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1point
When so much is happening and the bride is extremely overwhelmed, we might understand why she turns into a bridezilla. However, that doesn’t mean that she gets to attack other people. Instead, she should try these expert-recommended tips to cope with the stress.
They advise starting by getting organized early. Create to-do lists, set clear priorities, and communicate openly with your partner and family so you can delegate tasks and avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Experts stress that bridal couples should plan for potential stressors and build in a comfortable buffer. They should also practice anything that makes them nervous, like public speaking, and resist the urge to compare their wedding to others’. Instead, couples should focus on what makes their day unique.
It’s also important to prioritize their well-being by maintaining a healthy routine and making time for self-care. Whether it’s exercise, a relaxing bath, or a quiet date night, take breaks to stay grounded and set boundaries so you don’t try to please everyone, the experts add.
#16 Nightmare Wedding Story From Yesterday. I Had To Walk Out
Had a night mare weddings yesterday. I met with the couple when they booked me back in February. They wanted a simple wedding at their church and reception at a local community building. I picked it up because I went to school with the grooms brother snd we were close friends back then. Shot their engagement shoot back in spring, they are mid 20s and shy yet seemed nice.
The church was a remodeled bowling alley into an independent church. When I walked in I seen a bridesmaid getting her hair done giving me evil death stares. After shooting some photos of the dress the bridesmaid turned to me and said "yeah I was the one that was messaging you about my wedding a month ago and you told me you didn't want to shoot my wedding... It's all good I found the RIGHT photographer."
I remembered her right away, from her messages she had bridezilla written in red marker all over her and I politely responded to her I'm going to have to pass on being her photographer after a few terrifying messages.
When it came time for the bride to get into her dress she was crying because she gained weight and it was very tight on her. I didn't have much to work with for photos. Very little decoration, all the church walls were painted neon orange and it was raining heavy outside. The brides mom told the florist "I'm not paying for these, they are so ugly" she ended up getting a discount. The flowers were quite beautiful, and I was relieved they purchased real floral instead of hobby lobby. I said to my self oh boy, this is going to suck.
After the ceremony while shooting family photos I was given nothing but trash attitude from the brides family.
They absolutely could not believe that I was capable of using my strobe while the room was dimly lit to get photos of them on stage, rolled their eyes when I asked them to stand over here or pose like this or that. The brides aunt kept fluffing the brides train out in an unflattering placement after I properly positioned it. But I made it through it.
Then I arrived at the reception hall after a 5 minute drive to the community center. The place was PACKED with tables and chairs where no one had room to stretch out their elbows. After shooting their entry and everyone starting eating it was starting to get dark outside. I was wondering how I was going to accomplish shooting their "hang on the wall or just married photos" as I call them of just them two.
Heavy rain and no where outside to shoot even if it was sunny. And no where inside. We discussed at the engagement shoot what we would do in the event of rain.
Shoot at a covered spot at the local park. She decided she didn't want to leave her guest when I asked her. I was panicking a little and made the decision to pull her parents aside and ask them what they wanted me to do, with no room inside the reception hall or areas outside to photograph them. I showed them some photos I took of the wedding party on the stage back at the church, I said these are decent but they deserve better photos. They went to talk to their daughter, she got FURIOUS. I heard her yell "well he needs to figure out how to do his damn job”
walked over and tried to calm her down a bit. I ended up convincing her to listen to my advice and drive right down the street to the covered park spot with the brides maids/ groomsmen along. Every photo she had a pissed off brat expression on her face. The sister telling me how I should do every photo standing right behind me pulling photos up on her Pinterest board. After a few minutes of that I took one of my cameras off my harness and said "you want to take them? Please teach me." After 15 minutes of shooting what I needed she said "can we go now?!" When they were cutting their cake noticed they had no plate to put the slice they share on, I walked over towards the food table to grab one and her mom was on her way with one. When I reached for the plate she snatched it back and walked past me to deliver it to them. I shot the photos of them cutting
The church was a remodeled bowling alley into an independent church. When I walked in I seen a bridesmaid getting her hair done giving me evil death stares. After shooting some photos of the dress the bridesmaid turned to me and said "yeah I was the one that was messaging you about my wedding a month ago and you told me you didn't want to shoot my wedding... It's all good I found the RIGHT photographer."
I remembered her right away, from her messages she had bridezilla written in red marker all over her and I politely responded to her I'm going to have to pass on being her photographer after a few terrifying messages.
When it came time for the bride to get into her dress she was crying because she gained weight and it was very tight on her. I didn't have much to work with for photos. Very little decoration, all the church walls were painted neon orange and it was raining heavy outside. The brides mom told the florist "I'm not paying for these, they are so ugly" she ended up getting a discount. The flowers were quite beautiful, and I was relieved they purchased real floral instead of hobby lobby. I said to my self oh boy, this is going to suck.
After the ceremony while shooting family photos I was given nothing but trash attitude from the brides family.
They absolutely could not believe that I was capable of using my strobe while the room was dimly lit to get photos of them on stage, rolled their eyes when I asked them to stand over here or pose like this or that. The brides aunt kept fluffing the brides train out in an unflattering placement after I properly positioned it. But I made it through it.
Then I arrived at the reception hall after a 5 minute drive to the community center. The place was PACKED with tables and chairs where no one had room to stretch out their elbows. After shooting their entry and everyone starting eating it was starting to get dark outside. I was wondering how I was going to accomplish shooting their "hang on the wall or just married photos" as I call them of just them two.
Heavy rain and no where outside to shoot even if it was sunny. And no where inside. We discussed at the engagement shoot what we would do in the event of rain.
Shoot at a covered spot at the local park. She decided she didn't want to leave her guest when I asked her. I was panicking a little and made the decision to pull her parents aside and ask them what they wanted me to do, with no room inside the reception hall or areas outside to photograph them. I showed them some photos I took of the wedding party on the stage back at the church, I said these are decent but they deserve better photos. They went to talk to their daughter, she got FURIOUS. I heard her yell "well he needs to figure out how to do his damn job”
walked over and tried to calm her down a bit. I ended up convincing her to listen to my advice and drive right down the street to the covered park spot with the brides maids/ groomsmen along. Every photo she had a pissed off brat expression on her face. The sister telling me how I should do every photo standing right behind me pulling photos up on her Pinterest board. After a few minutes of that I took one of my cameras off my harness and said "you want to take them? Please teach me." After 15 minutes of shooting what I needed she said "can we go now?!" When they were cutting their cake noticed they had no plate to put the slice they share on, I walked over towards the food table to grab one and her mom was on her way with one. When I reached for the plate she snatched it back and walked past me to deliver it to them. I shot the photos of them cutting
1point
#17 My Very First (Horrible) Experience As A Bridesmaid
About a year ago my friend H asked me to be her bridesmaid. At that point I had been friends with H for a few good years - we met at work and stayed close even after we both left that place.
So naturally when she asked me to be her bridesmaid I was happy, teared a little but also became anxious a bit. The anxiety came mostly from the fact that I would be one out of only two bridesmaids and from not being sure exactly what H expected from me. And the other bridesmaids, let's call her L, was H's childhood friend. In fact, her together with the 3 groomsmen, bride and groom are all friends since childhood and very tight in their community and culture (which I am an outsider of). So, a kind of dynamic formed from the start. I will try to list here everything that transpired:
first meeting was with the whole group where logistics were discussed. I tried to participate, offer ideas, be proactive, but the "meeting" started with a three hour talk about their shared passion for Pokemon before we got to the wedding stuff and by that time I was tired and hungry, but still I stayed about 1.5 h then left.
second meeting I missed because of having an exam. I apologised and bride and I met for coffee and she updated me
third meeting took place online. Again, it felt like no one wanted to discuss things related to the wedding. As much as I tried to fit with the topics I never knew the people they mentioned, their hobbies. Heck, they even had a nickname for the groom I was not aware of and spent a long time trying to figure who this person was. The meeting extended until midnight and the wedding talk started around 11 pm in the evening on a work week. I had to excuse myself by then and log off. Halfway through the process, I found out they were all in a discord group and planning a lot on the side, I had no idea...
while all this was happening me and L were planning the bridal shower but we just simply couldn't agree. We said we will do spa, she wanted to go to a hundread dollar one with a stay overnight in a fancy hotel. I agreed, but that was not enough. She wanted to add a pottery class, a treasure hunt and a set of bridal accessories to the bill. We would end up each paying almost 900 dollars, which my budget couldn't take. She ended up going behind my back and telling the bride how terrible I was. In the end we left the spa out and did everything else.
before the wedding I asked the bride if after the ceremony could I spend some time with my partner who did not know anyone at the party. She was upset. Apparently the expectation was that we spend the whole day helping to set up the tables, serve drinks to the guests, arrange flowers and care for the bride and groom. I did not know that is the norm, but it was starting to feel like we were all unpaid help and not friends and also guests at the wedding. I tried to help to my best ability, showed up early, did what she asked but I also took breaks after the ceremony ended to be with my partner, which I guess still upset the group.
After all was done, H stopped talking to me and today I saw that I got cut out of all the wedding photos she posted online. It hurt. I know I could have been better and fit better with the group, but I also wished we would have discussed what happened and try to save the friendship, but apparently that is it.
So all that being said, I am just curios what people think. Was I a lousy friend, was there the lack of chemistry with the group, could the bride have been nicer? Would love to know.
So naturally when she asked me to be her bridesmaid I was happy, teared a little but also became anxious a bit. The anxiety came mostly from the fact that I would be one out of only two bridesmaids and from not being sure exactly what H expected from me. And the other bridesmaids, let's call her L, was H's childhood friend. In fact, her together with the 3 groomsmen, bride and groom are all friends since childhood and very tight in their community and culture (which I am an outsider of). So, a kind of dynamic formed from the start. I will try to list here everything that transpired:
first meeting was with the whole group where logistics were discussed. I tried to participate, offer ideas, be proactive, but the "meeting" started with a three hour talk about their shared passion for Pokemon before we got to the wedding stuff and by that time I was tired and hungry, but still I stayed about 1.5 h then left.
second meeting I missed because of having an exam. I apologised and bride and I met for coffee and she updated me
third meeting took place online. Again, it felt like no one wanted to discuss things related to the wedding. As much as I tried to fit with the topics I never knew the people they mentioned, their hobbies. Heck, they even had a nickname for the groom I was not aware of and spent a long time trying to figure who this person was. The meeting extended until midnight and the wedding talk started around 11 pm in the evening on a work week. I had to excuse myself by then and log off. Halfway through the process, I found out they were all in a discord group and planning a lot on the side, I had no idea...
while all this was happening me and L were planning the bridal shower but we just simply couldn't agree. We said we will do spa, she wanted to go to a hundread dollar one with a stay overnight in a fancy hotel. I agreed, but that was not enough. She wanted to add a pottery class, a treasure hunt and a set of bridal accessories to the bill. We would end up each paying almost 900 dollars, which my budget couldn't take. She ended up going behind my back and telling the bride how terrible I was. In the end we left the spa out and did everything else.
before the wedding I asked the bride if after the ceremony could I spend some time with my partner who did not know anyone at the party. She was upset. Apparently the expectation was that we spend the whole day helping to set up the tables, serve drinks to the guests, arrange flowers and care for the bride and groom. I did not know that is the norm, but it was starting to feel like we were all unpaid help and not friends and also guests at the wedding. I tried to help to my best ability, showed up early, did what she asked but I also took breaks after the ceremony ended to be with my partner, which I guess still upset the group.
After all was done, H stopped talking to me and today I saw that I got cut out of all the wedding photos she posted online. It hurt. I know I could have been better and fit better with the group, but I also wished we would have discussed what happened and try to save the friendship, but apparently that is it.
So all that being said, I am just curios what people think. Was I a lousy friend, was there the lack of chemistry with the group, could the bride have been nicer? Would love to know.
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#18 Aitj For Kicking A Bride Off My Property While She Was Taking Wedding Photos?
I (29M) bought a house two years ago that used to belong to an older couple. I've been slowly fixing it up since moving in.
A few weeks ago, a woman knocked on my door and explained that she grew up in this house. She was getting married and wanted a few photos on the front porch because her late mother had taken a picture of her there on her first day of school.
I thought it was a nice idea and agreed.
On the wedding day she showed up with her photographer, six bridesmaids and a couple of relatives. What was supposed to be 15 minutes turned into almost three hours. They were being extremely loud, shouting across the yard, playing music and constantly laughing and screaming while posing for pictures. My neighbors even came outside to see what was going on.
They also moved my porch furniture, put decorations on the railing and started asking if they could take pictures inside on the staircase.
I had already asked them twice how much longer they needed, and both times they said they were almost done. Eventually I told them they needed to pack up and leave.
The bride got upset and said I was being insensitive because the house was one of the few things that reminded her of her mother.
I told her I understood that, but it was still my home and I'd already given them nearly three hours when we originally agreed on 15 minutes.
She left crying and one of her bridesmaids called me a jerk for ruining something that meant so much to her.
My girlfriend thinks they pushed their luck, but also says I could've handled it better since it was her wedding day.
AITJ?
TL;DR: I agreed to let a bride take photos outside her childhood home, which I now own. What was supposed to take 15 minutes turned into almost three hours of loud music, shouting and taking pictures. They also wanted access inside my house, so I eventually told them to leave. The bride got upset because the house reminded her of her late mother.
A few weeks ago, a woman knocked on my door and explained that she grew up in this house. She was getting married and wanted a few photos on the front porch because her late mother had taken a picture of her there on her first day of school.
I thought it was a nice idea and agreed.
On the wedding day she showed up with her photographer, six bridesmaids and a couple of relatives. What was supposed to be 15 minutes turned into almost three hours. They were being extremely loud, shouting across the yard, playing music and constantly laughing and screaming while posing for pictures. My neighbors even came outside to see what was going on.
They also moved my porch furniture, put decorations on the railing and started asking if they could take pictures inside on the staircase.
I had already asked them twice how much longer they needed, and both times they said they were almost done. Eventually I told them they needed to pack up and leave.
The bride got upset and said I was being insensitive because the house was one of the few things that reminded her of her mother.
I told her I understood that, but it was still my home and I'd already given them nearly three hours when we originally agreed on 15 minutes.
She left crying and one of her bridesmaids called me a jerk for ruining something that meant so much to her.
My girlfriend thinks they pushed their luck, but also says I could've handled it better since it was her wedding day.
AITJ?
TL;DR: I agreed to let a bride take photos outside her childhood home, which I now own. What was supposed to take 15 minutes turned into almost three hours of loud music, shouting and taking pictures. They also wanted access inside my house, so I eventually told them to leave. The bride got upset because the house reminded her of her late mother.
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Lastly, experts claim that couples should stay positive and enjoy the journey. They should trust that they can handle whatever comes their way, and focus on the bigger picture: celebrating their love and the life they’re building together.
Well, brides should really consider these things, as they might help make their wedding special. After all, that’s the whole point behind this crazy behavior, right?
Anyway, dear readers, what did you think about these stories? Let us know in the comments. Also, if you enjoyed this extremely dramatic list, here’s another one about bridezillas whose audacity deserves a place in the wedding hall of shame!
#19 Aita For Catching The Bouquet At A Wedding?
A little back story: I (24f) have a serious long distance boyfriend (23M). We have talked about weddings and proposals so I know one is coming sometime in the future. But right now… WE ARE NOT ENGAGED.
Anyways. I went to a wedding yesterday of a friend and her now husband. I was having fun chatting around with some mutual friends, dancing, and having a few drinks. Literally it was a good night until the bouquet toss. I figured I would stay up to catch the bouquet bc I’m not married and the whole “hahah maybe my ring will come soon” and i literally had two girls I was hanging out with tell me to stay up and catch the bouquet bc I’m not married. So I stayed to catch the bouquet.
Also i thought catching the bouquet meant “the next to get married”? Maybe I was wrong. This was the second wedding I have been to.
So by the title. I caught the bouquet and was holding it up all happy. Until the bride came over and said something along the lines of “what are you doing up here? You’re literally getting married next week! We need to do a redo”. Loud enough that everyone could hear. I’m not getting married next week…..
I was just in an absolute shock I couldn’t say or do anything. They had the flower girl do the re-throw and someone else caught it. After the whole thing I was fighting off tears and gathered my stuff and quietly left. I didn’t want to cause a scene or anything.
When I got home I called my bf and bawled in the phone bc I didn’t understand why I was in the wrong. He told me I wasn’t and even someone else at the party said I wasn’t in the wrong but idk if they are being bias.
So…. AITA?
Anyways. I went to a wedding yesterday of a friend and her now husband. I was having fun chatting around with some mutual friends, dancing, and having a few drinks. Literally it was a good night until the bouquet toss. I figured I would stay up to catch the bouquet bc I’m not married and the whole “hahah maybe my ring will come soon” and i literally had two girls I was hanging out with tell me to stay up and catch the bouquet bc I’m not married. So I stayed to catch the bouquet.
Also i thought catching the bouquet meant “the next to get married”? Maybe I was wrong. This was the second wedding I have been to.
So by the title. I caught the bouquet and was holding it up all happy. Until the bride came over and said something along the lines of “what are you doing up here? You’re literally getting married next week! We need to do a redo”. Loud enough that everyone could hear. I’m not getting married next week…..
I was just in an absolute shock I couldn’t say or do anything. They had the flower girl do the re-throw and someone else caught it. After the whole thing I was fighting off tears and gathered my stuff and quietly left. I didn’t want to cause a scene or anything.
When I got home I called my bf and bawled in the phone bc I didn’t understand why I was in the wrong. He told me I wasn’t and even someone else at the party said I wasn’t in the wrong but idk if they are being bias.
So…. AITA?
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#20 Aio About Not Being In My Sister's Wedding Party
Starting from the beginning, I (F24) and my husband (M27) are having our wedding in October (2026). I asked my sister (F26) to be my maid of honor, we weren’t very close growing up, she is the favorite child and always did good in school and I was a bad kid but definitely could tell I wasn’t the favorite. Anyway I thought asking her to be my maid of honor would bring us closer together. A few weeks after I asked her we were headed to my wedding dress fitting when very casually she asked if I would be her “ring security” for her wedding, I caught very off guard was said “yes” and then the rest of the time we didn’t talk about it. Later than night I’m at home chatting with my mom, talking about all things wedding for me because it’s coming up so soon, then I mention that my sister asked me to be her “ring security” not thinking much of it, my mom looking confused said “isn’t that the role for a child”. I just stood there for a moment thinking about everything so confused and trying to wrap my head around everything she was saying. I told her I wasn’t sure if I should be upset or not because I’ve never been in a wedding and this is my first time planning it but then the more I thought about it the more confused and upset I got realizing and wondering why she made that decision. So I asked my mom if she would sit with us for a convo to make sure it doesn’t get outta hand, she said yes but that would she wouldn’t say anything unless needed to. She wanted us to talk about this, so a week or two later I asked my sister to join us for dinner. I just asked why she made that decision and told her I feel hurt that out of all of her 6 Brides maid and maid of honor I couldn’t make the cut of being of them even tho I’m her sister and our relationship has gotten better since we were kids. She said “ I had so many friends and wanted them all to be in it” mind you she has know all of her friends for 2 years expect for her best friend of 17 years, which is her maid of honor. I knew I wasn’t gonna be her maid of honor because of her best friend but I couldn’t make the cut to be a brides maid. I asked what we can do to help our relationship because I know she doesn’t value it like i did, she then started crying, (which all throughout our childhood she cried anytime she didn’t wanna tell people the truth and when she got too uncomfortable. That’s when my mom stepped in and told me to stop talking. Mind you I was getting upset thinking I’m never gonna have a good relationship with my sister and if we will ever be close like my husband is with his sister.(they are 4 years apart, she lives across the country from us and they haven’t see each other in 10 years and have a better relationship than me and my sister) AIO for still being upset and not wanting to be in her wedding as “ring security”?
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