War, destruction and the atrocities of the past are no laughing matter. But for some reason, years after the fact, we somehow manage to find it all funny. Mark Twain once said that comedy is tragedy plus time. In other words, everything that has ever happened - even the bad - will eventually be funny.
Some experts say that humor is a natural response to a tragedy or setback. Dr. Patt Schwab, a motivational keynote speaker and humorist based in Seattle, Washington, says humor develops in a predictable way during times of tragedy.
"The process is the same whether the initial setback is a horrible accident, a layoff, a broken heart or a national tragedy," she says. "To some extent you can even monitor an individual or group’s recovery from disaster by the stage of humor in tragedy to which they respond."
Schwab says at first, when something bad happens, nothing about it is funny. It would be highly inappropriate to laugh at someone's passing, an injury, an important loss, or a mass disaster.
"What is most needed emotionally at this stage is a catharsis such as crying, cursing, expressions of grief, irrational promises, sweeping condemnations, physical outbursts or all of the above," explains the expert. "Without this release of tension, it’s difficult for the individual to move on."
Schwab says that this cathartic time varies from person to person, and can depend on the degree of disaster.
"After the initial pain is discharged, humor often emerges as a way of coping with the event," reveals Schwab. "Laughing at tragedy or a problem gives us a sense of power and control over it." It lets us rise above the issue at hand, she says, and get on with what needs to be done.
When the humor does eventually emerge, it often takes on a morbid tone at first. Think self-deprecating jokes, sarcasm and cheap shots at oneself or even the victim. Particularly, notes Schwab, if the victim has done something stupid.
The expert says that this stage of humor often includes vicious jokes about the event or person seen as the cause the disaster.
"In morbid humor we are so internally focused that it is easy to be socially inappropriate," explains the humorist. "Although this stage of humor is predominantly bitter and self centered, it allows us to distance ourselves from the tragedy and start to process what happened."
There's also distractive humor, which is a more gentle humor that allows us to mentally escape the bad situation. "Laughing at the antics of children or pets, escaping to a humorous movie or even reading the funny paper can have sudden appeal after a tragedy," says the expert. "The friend who says something in an attempt to cheer us up is often trying to offer help via distractive humor."
She explains that the purpose of distractive humor is to reassure us that life goes on. It also helps buy time until things settle down.
Once things start settling, we begin to see power humor. It's similar to morbid humor but not quite the same. In this stage, comedians may put the issue or enemy down, and, in turn, raise us above.
"Stand-up humor is usually power humor," reveals Schwab. "Risk, revenge and ridicule are common components of power humor, but unlike its morbid cousin, power humor is clever. It cuts to the heart of the matter and must connect with an audience."
Power humor does exactly what its name suggests: it helps us feel powerful again, Schwab says.
