Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Geher, at the State University of New York at New Paltz, to ask him about the best ways to stand out from the crowd. He shed some light on the question.
"When it comes to presenting oneself in a mating context (which is, at the end of the day, what making dating profiles on platforms such as Tinder is all about), there are several features of oneself that might be helpful to underscore," he said.
"Decades of research on factors that are attractive to potential mates show various attributes that are rated as highly attractive. In this past research, mutual love and kindness often top the list—and this finding has been observed across a broad array of cultures. So coming across as loving and kind is probably a good idea!"
According to the professor, humor has also consistently been found as attractive. "This finding may well stem from the fact that a good sense of humor signals all kinds of positive attributes that would be beneficial in a mateship. A good sense of humor often goes hand in hand with such qualities as creativity, social awareness, and raw intellect," Dr. Geher pointed out to Bored Panda.
"This is why high-caliber comedians often come across as having something special when it comes to how their minds operate. And ending up with a mate who is creative, smart, and socially aware is likely to bring you all kinds of benefits in the relationship. And these benefits might ultimately spread to potential shared offspring as well."
Bored Panda was interested in getting the professor's take on dating in real life as well. We were curious about how someone might go about overcoming their shyness to ask others out in person. Dr. Geher noted that the world as a whole has changed much in recent decades as technology has progressed.
"The amount of 'business' that is done virtually these days—across all kinds of life domains—is increasing at breakneck speed. To deposit money in the bank, you can just go to your banking app. To obtain groceries, you can just go to Instacart. To check how a friend is doing, you just send a three-word text," he shared just a few examples.
These shifts in tech have also affected the dating world, too. However, Dr. Geher suggests that this may not necessarly be for the better. Online dating isn't as wonderful as it might appear at first glance. Especially because your potential matches may appear quite different from what they're like in reality.
"With more and more people meeting potential mates online via dating apps, there are some potential pitfalls. As opposed to meeting people in real life, meeting virtually is meeting someone’s highly curated self rather than, in some ways, their actual self," he explained to us.
"Think about the amount of time that someone puts into choosing just the right profile photo—which may well be touched up by any number of software tricks. Further, think about the fact that someone can edit their online description extensively before publishing it. They may even ask others (e.g., good friends) to read such descriptions and make some suggestions. So when you meet someone online, you’re kind of meeting their highly curated best self as opposed to maybe a more realistic, everyday version of who they are."
That's not to say that dating is easy when you ask someone out in person either. Dr. Geher highlighted the fact that meeting someone in person may be risky and stressful for many people.
"This is likely partly why so many people are turning toward dating apps to meet potential partners. Is this trend likely to change such that in-person meetings of potential partners becomes more commonplace, as in the past? We’ll need a crystal ball to answer that one!" he said.
"For now, I think that so many people see online dating as relatively convenient and less stressful than the kind of in-person dating that is looking more and more like a thing of the past with each passing day. Is this a good thing? Only time will tell."
#10 I Think There Was A Misdiagnosis. It May Just Be "Forever Alone With A Pint Of Ice Cream"
Tinder, founded in 2012, has become a global phenomenon. It is massively popular around the world and is used in more than 197 countries. At the time of writing, the dating app had over 75 million monthly active users. According to World Population Review, some of the countries with the most users include the United States (7.8 million) and the United Kingdom (5 million).
The app was the first of its kind to introduce the idea of swiping right and left, i.e. to ‘like’ and ‘dislike’ potential matches, respectively. The app is also very popular in Brazil where women in their 20s and 30s extensively use it to look for serious relationships. Meanwhile, in France, Tinder is used for both casual relationships and serious ones.
One of the main reasons why people use dating apps is because they are incredibly convenient. With so much going on in your life, you might not have the free time or energy to consistently go out and meet new people. However, with just a few clicks, taps, and swipes, you can quickly open yourself up to lots of new encounters with complete strangers whom you might never otherwise meet.
Another upside of online dating is that there’s a lower barrier to asking someone out. That can be especially helpful if you tend to be shy, get easily flustered, or simply don’t have much experience in asking someone to go on a date with you. Of course, the reality is that you’ll still have to meet your matches in person, so you’ll have to move past some of your shyness sooner or later.
Dating apps can also be far more discreet than someone constantly going to parties, bars, clubs, and even bookstores. This can work to your advantage if you want to keep your dating life a tad more private, without your family and friends constantly butting in with their advice and opinions.
What folks look for in dating apps will depend a lot on who they are as individuals and what their current needs are. Some people might use them for casual flings. Others might be on the prowl for serious relationships. And many of you Pandas reading this probably know someone whose Tinder match quickly turned into something long-term.
Meanwhile, other dating app users simply want to boost their self-esteem a bit. Whether you like it or not, people enjoy being adored and admired by others. When you know that there are lots of folks out there who desire you and want to meet you, it can really raise your confidence.
However, there’s a fine line here that you need to walk. You definitely do not want to set the wrong expectations. If you’re not looking for any sort of relationship but simply want some attention, it’s important that you’re transparent about this.
