Usually, in a group of friends, there is a long list of inside jokes, sayings, and remarks. They are often the funniest words and expressions you’ve ever heard that make you chuckle every time. But there are also times when people who are known on a wider scale—celebrities—produce some hilarious quotes that make you roll with laughter.
From cute (and sometimes mischievous) jokes from the wonderful Betty White to light-hearted, positive, and funny lines about life from Stephen Hawking. There are plenty of fun quotes to discover. These funny sayings reflect the brighter side of life, turning hardships into comedy or just talking about seemingly mundane secrets behind their success.
So dive into this wonderful collection of funny quotes and sayings and add them to your daily repertoire of laughter. Vote for your favorites, as well as share the good vibes of the hilarious quotes with friends and family.
#21 Open Mind? Here Come the Brain Invaders
"The trouble with having an open mind is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."— Terry Pratchett
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#22 Some deals are just too fishy
A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.”
—Graham Norton
—Graham Norton
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#23 Meet the CEO, not the person
"When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative."
― Chris Rock.
― Chris Rock.
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#24 When Theft Becomes Research
“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”
― Steven Wright
― Steven Wright
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#25 Deadlines: Professional Panic Mode Activated
“I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
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#26 Fairy tales got nothing on reality
“Life isn't a fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you're drunk.”
― Darynda Jones
― Darynda Jones
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#27 Family vibes, but make it friendlier
“Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.” —Anonymous
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#28 Plot Twist: Dad’s Honest Confession
“I asked my brother-in-law, the father of four boys, ‘If you had it to do all over again, would you still have kids?’ ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Just not these four.’”
— Sheila Lee
— Sheila Lee
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#29 Future CEOs In Training, Apparently
“Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” —Paula Poundstone
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#30 Plot Twist: Forgiveness as Revenge
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”—Oscar Wilde
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#31 That irony hit different
“The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.”
—Zach Galifianakis
—Zach Galifianakis
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#32 Captain Obvious Strikes Again
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
— Steve Martin
— Steve Martin
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#33 Snails: New French Power Move
”Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”— Doug Larson
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#34 Plot Twist: Sea Level Drama
“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.“ — George Burns
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#35 Old age called, it wants its leaks back
"I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me."
― Stephen Fry
― Stephen Fry
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#36 Adulting Level: Officially Warned
“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.”
—Joan Rivers
—Joan Rivers
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#37 Lowkey savage life advice
“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” —George Carlin
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#38 Would’ve saved me sooner
“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’”
—Steven Wright
—Steven Wright
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#39 My kind of cardio
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
—Noel Coward
—Noel Coward
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#40 Fake it till you feel it (or not)
"Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.” — Tina Fey
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