Usually, in a group of friends, there is a long list of inside jokes, sayings, and remarks. They are often the funniest words and expressions you’ve ever heard that make you chuckle every time. But there are also times when people who are known on a wider scale—celebrities—produce some hilarious quotes that make you roll with laughter.
From cute (and sometimes mischievous) jokes from the wonderful Betty White to light-hearted, positive, and funny lines about life from Stephen Hawking. There are plenty of fun quotes to discover. These funny sayings reflect the brighter side of life, turning hardships into comedy or just talking about seemingly mundane secrets behind their success.
So dive into this wonderful collection of funny quotes and sayings and add them to your daily repertoire of laughter. Vote for your favorites, as well as share the good vibes of the hilarious quotes with friends and family.
#1 Guess I’ll Bring the Ouija
“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”
—Betty White
—Betty White
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#2 Blondes Aren’t the Only Punchline
“I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.” —Dolly Parton
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#3 When hiding in plain sight fails
“The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.”
― Stephen Hawking
― Stephen Hawking
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#4 Classic \"I’m done with this\" energy
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”– Jim Carey
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#5 Plot twists are optional in real life
“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”
— Tom Clancy
— Tom Clancy
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#6 Plot Twist: Stealing Their Shoes Before The Roast
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
—Jack Handey
—Jack Handey
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#7 “Stupid’s the Real Endless”
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” —Albert Einstein
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#8 Laugh Lines or Life’s Roast?
When Mick Jagger insisted that his wrinkles were actually laugh lines, jazz singer George Melly replied, “Surely nothing could be that funny.”
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#9 Forever the Dad, Forever the Sass
“I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.” —Jack Whitehall
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#10 Green but make it magical
“This book was written using 100% recycled words.”
― Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
― Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
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#11 Instant personality test: buffering edition
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell
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#12 Someone’s living rent-free in my wardrobe
“He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.”
― Michelle Obama
― Michelle Obama
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#13 Plot twist, she’s the real comedian
"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him."
— Oscar Wilde
— Oscar Wilde
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#14 Well, That Figures
"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” ― Bob Hope
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#15 True Friends: Flaws Included
“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.“ — Greg Tamblyn
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#16 Big Brain Energy Only
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” —Isaac Asimov
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#17 Honestly, Same Energy
“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you're interrupting.“– Mark Twain
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#18 Living Proof That Nothing Works
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”— Winnie the Pooh
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#19 Books: Bestie Outside, Dark Inside
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx
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#20 Well, That’s Practical Fatalism
“I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.”
— Stephen Hawking
— Stephen Hawking
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